Oz, Wayne and others in “Unfinished Business”

Oz

[Shouts to Wayne] Oi-oi, London! What's happenin'? Owt you can't handle, send 'em up to me. [Wayne returns to the lads.]

Wayne

Not much joy out there, Oz. See, they're Norwgeian, ain't they, and you know what your only point of reference is when you're Norwegian, don't ya?

Oz

What's that?

Wayne

Open deck sarnie, ain't it?

Bomber

They're Danish.

Wayne

You what?

Bomber

Danish.

Wayne

Well, that's probably why they're a bit sticky, then, innit?

Hello, lads!

Sorry to interrupt, but I can see you're busy.

Oz

Who are you?

[Pulls out a dictaphone] Have you lads got a few words to say to the press?

Oz

[Scoffs] Aye, yes. I've got two, and the second one's "off".

Bomber

Go on and beat it. We're in enough trouble because of you buggers.

We know about that, but we want to help you lads.

Wayne

Here, you wouldn't happen to know the Norwegian for "Can I get into your knickers?", would you? [Chuckles]

Look, the more you stall us, the more difficult it's gonna be for you in the end.

Oz

Look, look. [To Wayne] Gan have a swim. [Wayne walks off. To the journalists] Look, that rubbish in the papers wasn't true, right? It was a load of crap, alright? We're not bank robbers, man, for Christ's sake!

Lovely, we wanna believe that too, so we can write spoilers on that crap Nick Wheeler wrote.

So, just tell us who you really are and what you're doing here, and we'll all go home. [Holds his dictaphone right in Oz's face]

Oz

Just mind yer own business! [Shoves the dictaphone away.]

Hey, hey, you're not helping us, son!

Bomber

Look, boyos, what that bloke wrote was a load of cobblers. We know it, so why should we have to prove it to you?

So we can deny it on your behalf.

Wayne

[Returns] Oh yeah? So the other mob can deny it again, and erm, it's a vicious circle, innit?

Oz

'Ere, I've had enough of these bastards! [Snatches the dictaphone from Douglas] I'm gonna bury them in the sand, head first, eh?

Hey, hold on, hold on.

Oz

Head first! [Takes the tape out of the dictaphone and throws it away, before throwing the dictaphone away.]

Here, hold on, son!

Oz

'Ere? What?

We can always head back to England and write you up as holidaying scroungers from the dole queue!

Oz

[Menacingly] Can yer?

It's all right! It's all right, it'll probably take a day or two to realise it's all in your own... [Turns round and sees Bomber stood up and glaring down at him.] ...Come on, Ronnie! [The two journalists run away.]

Bomber

Remind me not to buy the English papers when I get home!