Guten Abend, mein Herren.
Ah, you English. The English are always welcome here. I will get someone to take good care of you. [Claps his hands] Won't be long. [Out comes the masseuse. It's Uli, but Bomber doesn't know.]
[As he goes into the back] Have we met before, my dear?
I do not think so. My name is Uli. [The penny drops with Bomber.]
He does look relaxed, eh? Done your neck the power of good, has it, sunshine?
[To the barman] Can I have one here, chief? [Asks the others] Is Oz around?
DennisNah. He's, er... over the hut, helpin' with the decorating.
Lyin' on his bed, criticising!
He's very good at interior decor, our Oz(!) [He, Dennis and Neville laugh]
[Noticing Bomber is a little bit quiet] What's the matter, Bomb?
It's a bit awkward, and I think this should go no further.
Dennis
What?
I thought you'd went to a massage parlour, eh?
Dennis
Never!
Head girl, by the looks of it.
I don't believe it. I met her through that Heidi, you know?
Dennis
What, is she in that game as well?
Nah, nah, nah. She works on the cosmetic counter at Millers, she does. Well, at least I hope she does. Certainly smells like it!
Dennis
Look, are you sure it was her, Bomber?
Her name was Uli, and I recognised her from the photograph.
So... she's not a beauty consultant?
Well, what do you think she does 'round there, son, eh? Facials?
It gets worse. According to my mate Dieter, who took me there, her boyfriend's the bloke that owns the place. Nasty piece of work, he looks.
Dennis
That makes two of 'em, doesn't it?
Well, I call it poetic jutsice meself.
Dennis
[Noticing everyone looking at him] I suppose I'll have to, eh?
Oz might be very upset, yer kna. Emotionally, like.
That's a sobering thought, ain't it, eh?
Uli? [Kemal gets out of the car] Oh, it's you.
You English bastard! [Pulls a switchblade on Oz.]
Ha ha ha(!) What are you bloody laughin' at?
He had a great big bloody knife, man. He was gonna try an' kill us!
It was them saved your life, then.
What are ye talkin' aboot, man? He's one of them.
Dennis
Well, whatever he said, he's made them change their mind. I reckon you owe them a bit of an apology, the way you've been runnin' 'em down.
[Standing over the spilled paint] Oh, someone give us a cloth, will you?
Fair dos, Oz. I reckon you ought to go 'round there in the morning and say thanks.
Oh, aye? Take 'em a bouquet of flowers, like, an' a little note? Listen, mate, one of them Abduls tries to stick a knife in me guts, right? Another one stops 'em. That makes it even-steven as far as I'm concerned, right? [Heads his locker where the paint has spilled]
Don't step in it! You're makin' it worse! [Oz slips and falls onto his bed, right onto an erotic painting Barry bought, ripping the canvas]
Dennis
Every time they see Oz it's a big joke. [Shouts down to the Turks] 'Ey! What's so funny, eh? [The Turks continue to laugh and jeer] Ho ho ho(!) [Confused, the lads climb down the ladder.] Oi... Here, here. Why you laugh at Oz?
TWTurkish worker
This man saying, "Him taking my woman, I cutting him."
Dennis
What? You lads say what?
TWTurkish worker
I say, "No cutting him. He's our friend, working together", but he says, "No, him taking my woman. I cutting him." Very mad.
Very mad? You can say that again. He's off his bloody rocker!
Dennis
Shut up, man, Oz! So, how did you change his mind?
TWTurkish worker
I saying quick, "He's not taking your woman. We knowing this man. He's not taking any woman. He have nothing with women!"
TWTurkish worker
We saying, "He nothing for woman, this man."
[To Dennis] What's he talkin' aboot? "Nothing for woman, this man."
Dennis
Very ingenious, aye!
TWTurkish worker
So he laugh and go away. [The Turks laugh and turn to carry on with their work, as do Dennis, Neville and Bomber.]
Hey, hey, Dennis? Here, what are they on aboot here?
Dennis
Oz, they saved your bacon.
Dennis
[Chuckling] Said you were a poofter! [Everyone laughs, while Oz just looks confused and/or offended]
[Handing Uli a drink] You look like you could do with that.
Cheers. [They raise their glasses. Oz sees the extent of the bruises] He do that to you, did he?
I'm not surprised. Bloody maniac. He come after me with a knife, yer know.
Did he tell you about that the...
Aye. [Uli chuckles and nods] Yeah. Well, I suppose he were only trying to help, yer know. What a bloody cheek, though!
Well, I didn't tell him that I know better. Look, I'm sorry I lied to you. I want to explain. You were my only chance to get out, to go to England where he couldn't hurt me.
You must've been pretty desperate to pick a bloke like me.
Oh, no, that had nothing to do with it.
'Cos, er... it wasn't true, yer kna.
Nah. Well, you weren't the only one that sort of made things out to be er, yer kna, a little bit different to what they were. Listen, I'm not any tycoon's son. My dad hasn't even got a business.
Nah. My old man was a layabout and a drunk. He buggered off when I was a bairn. Last thing I saw of him was, er, huntin' around the house for a pair of socks, prior to pissing off to the Persian Gulf on an oil tanker. See... I spun that whole yarn just to try and impress you, yer kna. Kept it all going... just to keep you.
[Shocked] ...Well, I feel better that you also didn't tell the truth.
Well... you might as well know the lot. I'm married as well.
Officially. Only in England, mind. Yer kna... But I mean, you've got somebody as well, havvn't yer? I mean, you've got this Kemal bloke.
Look, Uli, I mean, the main thing is, you've got to give this bloke the elbow, haven't yer? You've gotta give him the heave-ho, the push, the shove... Leave the bugger! Yer know? I mean, try... Pack a bag and try a new town.
[Shaking her head] It's difficult.
I know, I know, but I thought maybes, yer kna, when this has all blown over I thought maybe we could pick it up where we left off.
Maybe, huh? But, you know, Kemal is a bad man, and I don't want any more trouble for you.
He'll not cause me any more trouble. He'll not cause you any more trouble either. He's only one man, yer kna.
Yes, but he has two brothers, and they're all bad people.
Yes, but I've got six mates, an' if we count the whole building site, that's nearly 100. I don't think the Kemal brothers'll wanna mess with that lot!
Dennis
Being in the business, you know, it's easy for us to see how flimsy this construction is. [Pulls the blinds off the window] In't that right, lads?
Oh, aye, yeah. Definitely Jerry-built.
I could sneeze, it would fall down.
Dennis
What i'm sayin' is, y'see, we're just as good at demolition as we are at construction.
[Takes his cigar out of his mouth] You are threatening me?
Dennis
Listen. You lay one more finger on that girl, right... [Points to Bomber] ...and he'll hit you so hard your family'll feel it back in Istanbul!
[In the site office, Dagmar gives her new assistant some work...]
Man will vier Kopien davon. Ich sage, wo man diese schicken muss. (Make four copies of this, and I'll tell you where to send them)
Dennis
[Entering the office] Hello.
[Taking off her glasses] Hello. [Introduces the assistant] Oh, Dennis, this is Christa. She has just come to work with us.
Dennis
Guten Tag, Frau Christa.
Dennis
Oh, yeah. Sorry. Er... [Quiet] I was thinking about the weekend.
Dennis
Well...
It's all right. I don't think she speaks English.
Dennis
Oh, sure. I didn't want to compromise you, did I?
[Laughs] I think that already happened after our first weekend.
Dennis
Yeah, well, it's not common knowledge now, is it?
[Tuts] Come on. On this site? I should think by now it is history.
Dennis
Yeah, well, there's no panic, then, is there? I was just thinkin' that we might do somethin', might take off for the weekend. I've been puttin' in some overtime an' I'm flush, that's all.
Oh, that sounds very good. But I have to see about my mother.
Dennis
Well, er, have a think about it, okay?
Sure. [Dennis turns to leave] Oh, wait. The post. I think there is one for you here.
Dennis
That's all right. I'll just take them across.
All right. Thank you. [Dennis takes the post from Dagmar]
Dennis
Bye-bye, then. Wiedersehen. [Leaves the office.]
[To Dagmar] Erm... he is... your friend?
Oh, Sie sprechen doch Englisch? (Oh, so you do speak English, don't you?)
Dennis
[Reading his letter] No. No, there's not, Neville.
I didn't expect none. I got a parcel from Brenda yesterday. She sent us a new jumper. Oh, and some of her sister's birthday cake. We'll have that later.
Dennis
Aye, smashing.
It's not bad news, is it?
Dennis
I don't know what to make of this, frankly.
Dennis
Well, it's from Vera. It says she wants to come out here.
Dennis
Aye. It says her sister's taking the bairns for the weekend and she could do with the break, and, er, "It would give us a chance to talk things over." What's she mean by that?
Aye... she probably wants to finalise things, like.
Dennis
Everything is finalised, man. The divorce has gone through. I dunno what there is to talk about. I mean, the solicitors did all the bloody talkin'. We didn't get a word in edgeways.
Well, like she says, it'll be a break for her.
Dennis
Well, if she wants a break, why doesn't her bloke take her somewhere, y'know? Eh? He's the one with the posh new car, good job...
Ah, he's a very busy man, though, Dennis. Probably can't find the time.
Dennis
Hi. Vera? Look, I've reversed the charges because it's such a nightmare with all them stacks of change.
VVera
So, are you all right?
Dennis
Yeah. How's the kids?
VVera
Ahh, they're fine. If I'd know you were gonna call, I'd have kept 'em up.
Dennis
Ah, well, don't keep 'em up, love.
VVera
I'll not now, I mean it's difficult enough as it is trying to get 'em up!
Dennis
How are ya, then?
VVera
I'm all right. Did you get me letter?
Dennis
'Ey, what's this about you comin' out here?
VVera
Yes, well I thought it might be useful, you know, erm... I mean, I thought we could talk.
Dennis
Well, there doesn't seem much to talk about. The solicitors, they filled in all the blanks.
VVera
Yeah. I mean, I think that's the point, Dennis, you know? I think they took over. I mean, there was your lawyer and my lawyer and all these forms to fill in, statements to make...
Dennis
Yeah, well that's the way they work, isn'it? Know what I mean?
VVera
Absolutely, that's the point. I think that, in the middle of all that, somewhere you and I got lost, you know.
Dennis
That's how they make their money, love.
Dennis
I said that's how they make their money.
VVera
I know, Dennis. Will you listen?
Dennis
Okay, pet, I'm listening. What?
VVera
I'm sayin' that I think that we got lost as people, as a couple. An' I think if I came out, we'd be away from all that pressure, all that procedure. I mean, we're still a family, aren't we?
Dennis
Are we?
VVera
Helen wants to take the kids up to the caravan in Seahouses.
Dennis
Yeah?
VVera
They could go to Bamburgh Castle and the Farne Islands, they'll have a whale of a time. It'd do them the world of good
Dennis
I agree, I agree, that's good for them, yeah.
VVera
Now, you sent us some extra.
Dennis
Well, I've been puttin' in some overtime, y'kna? It's the least I can do.
VVera
I really appreciate it. But I thought I could use that to fly out.
Dennis
What? D'you think it's worth havin' you fly all the way out here on your own?
VVera
Oh, Dennis, pet, please. Don't make it hard.
Dennis
Well, okay. All right, if... if that's what you want.
Dennis
Cheers, Bomb. I reckon I could use one.
Dennis
Eh... you tell me, Bomber. You tell me.
It'll be goodbye to all this soon, Dennis. Back to civilisation.
Dennis
Aye, in the dole queue, eh?
Can't win, can you? [They walk down the side of the hut, when Bomber spots something.] My word, did you see that?
Dennis
I think I did, aye.
Was it what I thought it was?
Dennis
I think it was, Bomb, aye. It's come from the hut as well. As if we didn't have enough problems, eh?
[Standing] The toast is Brenda.
[As they raise their bottles of beer] Aye, Brenda, definitely.
Hey, Nev, Nev, a rare treat that, mate. A rare treat, Neville.
Aye, like getting a Red Cross parcel in the war, that.
It has been a great day, though, hann'it, y'know? A nice piece of crumpet in the admin, an' a great piece of cake in the hut. [The lads laugh, except Oz]
[Stands up] Hey, shorty! Not so much of the crumpet. That Yvette's special, yer kna! I mean, destiny sent her, didn'it?
Destiny did, all the way here. [Dennis and Bomber enter]
[Holding up a place with two slices of cake] We saved you some.
That'll do Bomber. Real gent you are, Nev.
There would've been more, like, but somebody got at it.
Dennis
Why?
I divvn't know, but a big chunk got eaten.
Dennis
[As he and Bomber put their pieces of cake back on the plate] Oh, in that case, I think I'll pass.
A spiffing bit of cake, that is!
I'll eat it. [He and Wayne grab the two pieces]
Dennis
Look, it's no offence to Brenda's cooking, I just think that this hut's got another inmate. I think he's probably eaten your cake, like.
[With a mouth full of cake] How's that, like?
Dennis
We've just seen him, haven't we, Bomber?
Dennis
I don't know his name, but it was the biggest rat I've ever seen.
Dennis
Okay, out with it. What's the matter?
Dennis
Look, that was an excellent restaurant, that' You hardly ate a thing, you said even less.
VVera
I'm not feeling very well. Must've been the flight. You know I don't like flying. Anyway, you and Dagmar could have stayed.
Dennis
Oh, of course we couldn't have stayed.
VVera
Don't you normally stay with her?
Dennis
What's that remark supposed to mean?
VVera
Just drop it, Dennis.
Dennis
No, I won't!
Dennis
You're upset. You're upset because I brought Dagmar.
VVera
Yes! I'm upset because you brought Dagmar! Sometimes you can be...
Dennis
I can be what?
VVera
You can be really insensitive about how other people feel. You get an idea in your head, and you've got to see it through...
Dennis
Look...
VVera
But you don't always think it through!
Dennis
Listen, I know what's goin' in your life, right? I want you to know the same about me. I just want you to know the way things are.
VVera
You don't know the way things are.
Dennis
Oh, really? Come on, inform me, then!
Dennis
I'm not gettin' angry, man! Confused, maybe.
VVera
Look... I didn't come over here to sort things out. I could've done that on the phone. I came over here because our divorce isn't final yet.
Dennis
I know it's not.
VVera
Well, I'm not sure I want it to be.
Dennis
Now, look, just wait a minute. This divorce was your idea, if I remember correctly.
VVera
I know it was. And I know it hurt you. Well, it hurt your pride, anyway. And there were good reasons for splitting up. Very good reasons. But... [Sighs] Oh, I don't want to go through all that again.
Dennis
Well, Vera... I wish I knew what you did want.
VVera
...I don't want a divorce. I want you to come home.
Dennis
Oh, bloody hell. [There's an awkward silence.]
VVera
Fancy a drink? I got some duty-free gin on the plane. There are some glasses in the bathroom. [Dennis heads into the bathroom]
[To the barman] A large cognac, please, chief. [Notices Dennis] Hello, Den. What are you doin' here?
Dennis
Nightcap.
Yeah? Me too. D'you want another?
Dennis
Scotch, please.
[To the barman] That's a large Scotch too, please, squire. [To Dennis] I thought you were stayin' out all night.
Dennis
No, I changed me mind. [Wayne goes over to Dennis. The barman puts their drinks on the bar]
Things not work out with, er, Dagmar and your old lady, then?
Dennis
[Shakes his head] I thought I was just being above board, yer kna, straight and honest. Vera said I was showin' off.
Dennis
Showin' off Dagmar. I mean, she's a smart lass, isn't she? Attractive and honest. I dunno, that's probably what I was doin'. [Coughs]
Well, she is rather special, that Dagmar, ain't she? Mind you, so is her mate.
Dennis
Christa? Hey, you an' me've... collared the clerical staff, havvn't we? Eh?
Dennis
No? Things not work out, like?
She wouldn't let me get near her, would she? Mind you, I didn't want to, y'know. No, I didn't want to sort of come on strong and jump it, like.
Dennis
Hey, you're slippin', aren't yer?
I'm smitten, Den. Now listen, don't tell the lads, right? Now, I can confide in you, can't I? Now I know you've probably got your own problems and all that, but I can bend your ear a bit, can't I?
Dennis
Just carry on, bonny lad, I havvn't a care in the world, me(!)
Yeah, well, look, I'm serious about this Christa, right. I know it's madness, but I'm really bowled over. Now, don't tell the lads, eh?
Dennis
My lips are sealed, all right?
I get embarrased just thinking about it, you know? "It'll never happen to me," I said. It bloody has, ain't it?
Dennis
Hey... you really are serious, aren't yer?
I'm deadly serious, Den. Of course, er, never having been in this situation before, it's pretty hard to be certain about the symptoms. [Dennis chuckles] But I think... well, listen, I'm positive, sunbeam, that this is it. It's devastating, mate. Devastating.
Dennis
Ahh, it's not the end of the world, that, man. Go for it!
Yeah, but I can't fathom it, can I? And the trouble is, we're shipping out in a week or two, ain't we?
Dennis
So?
So I've gotta decide whether to go home or chance me arm here, ain't I?
Dennis
Yeah, you're not the only one that's gotta make that decision.
Dennis
[Nods his head] Mmm-hmm.
Dennis
[Shakes his head] I mean Vera or Dagmar.
[Exhales] Blimey, Dennis. What are we gonna do?
Dennis
Well, I was about to get pissed. You care to join me? [They chuckle]
Well, gentlemen, as you probably know there have been one or two changes in the Federal Government's attitude to Gastarbeiter - visiting workers. This is because of increasing unemployment here in West Germany. Oh yes, we have it too.
Yes, but ours is bigger than yours! [The others laugh]
So, we have had to look at ways of keeping more jobs for our own people. Up until now, you have worked here without paying tax or insurance, and that has been very convenient for all of us, ja? But, from next Monday, if you wish to stay and work here in Germany, you will have to apply for official registration and be issued with a license.
Ere, does that mean we gotta give up our British nationality? 'Cos I'm buggered if I'm becoming a German!
No no no, you do not understand. As members of the EEC you have the right to work here, but from now you must accept your financial obligations to the German state.
Well... can we not just graft here and then send wor tax home?
I'm not being ridiculous! I just think it's a bit strong that we give Germany all our skill and labour, and now it's tryin' ta issue us with dog licenses and take what little pittance of money we earn off wor!
Just ignore him, Herr Grunwald.
So... if you could let me know as soon as possible if you wish to stay or not, we can get on with the paperwork.
I can let you know straight away, Herr Grunwald. I'm goin' back to England.
Me too, Herr Grunwald. Family calls.
I shall be sorry to see both of you go. Anyone else?
...Well, personally, I... I'm not quite sure yet, Herr Grunwald.
[turns to Wayne and Dennis] And what about you, Mr. Patterson? [Dagmar looks through into Grunwald's office at Dennis. Oz turns to Dennis]
Dennis
I haven't decided yet, Herr Grunwald.
Well, it looks as if no-one will be staying, ja?
Dennis
I wouldn't be too sure about that, Herr Grunwald. [Referring to Wayne, who has been exchanging glances with Christa in the other office the entire meeting]
Well, this is a right puzzler, this one. I don't wanna go back home, but I don't really wanna stop here working in Germany, especially if I'm just gonna be workin' with Germans.
I thought you had a wife and a kid though, Oz.
Aye, and that's why he doesn't want to go back!
[Nods in agreement] True, true. What about you, Moxey? You'll stop here with us, won't ya?
Ah, as much as I like it, Oz, I can't say I relish the idea of paying tax, like. I mean, when you think about the squallid lifestyle that we lead at the moment, it's gonna be even worse with less money.
Sounds like another boy Blighty-bound to me!
No way, Bomb. There's even less chance of that happening.
I've got a record, haven't I? I was in the nick for two years 'fore I come out here.
This was supposed to be me fresh start in life.
Ahhh, what did you get locked up for, eh?
Yeah, I know! I didn't wanna tell you blokes, you know, in case you got worried, like, you know, about bein' in the same hut as me, like. Guess it don't matter now, though.
[Still shocked] Arson, eh? And you don't even smoke!
And how's that come about, Mox?
I was workin' on this building site, you know, back in Liverpool. Bastard site manager, had it in for us, like, kept dockin' my wages for no reason! And one day, you know, I just lost me rag. I set fire to his hut.
What, was he still in it?
Not for long, no. [Bomber chuckles] So there you go, record for arson. Dodge City address.
Kirkby. I reckon me chances on Merseyside are even worse than Everton's!
Well... [Slams his palm on the bar] Stop on, Moxey. That's the only thing you can do, really.
Yeah, I know, Oz, but, y'know once they get me name down on their forms and their files, it'll only be a matter of time before they find out about me past.
Hey, Dennis? You'll never guess what? Moxey's an arsonist!
Dennis
[To the barman, completely ignoring Oz] Schnapps. [The barman brings the bottle over] Just leave the bottle. [He does so.]
How's about if I contributed to a German heart disease charity fund, and instead of one of them little flags for me lapel, they put this tattoo on me arm?
Oh, very ingenious, that.
Even Brenda would see through that fairytale, man!
[Eyeing up Dennis downing the schnapps] I bet Dennis could come up with summat.
Dennis
[In a drunken stupor] Not a chance.
I dunno, but he's certainly taken hold.
I'll have a word with 'im, he'll talk to me...
Dennis
[Shouting] Just stop right where you are, Oz!
Come on, Den. We're your mates. Whatever it is, share it with us.
Dennis
Aye, a trouble shared is a trouble halved, eh? Aye, that was one of Vera's favourite sayings, that was.
Come on, Den. Snap out of it, man.
Dennis
[Snapping] "Snap out of it?!" Will you listen to this lad, eh? Have you lot had any idea what it's like bein' kicked out of a marriage? It's like bein' asked to take down all those walls we've been buildin' brick by brick wi' yer bare hands. Imagine what that feels like, yeah? Aye, then imagine what it would be like if they came along and said, "Right, now put 'em all back up again."
Dennis
Thanks for the offer, Bomber, but you can't. I help you with your problems. Doesn't work the other way 'round. That's how it is! So all of you just, er... [Puts some money on the bar and takes the bottle of schnapps he's been drinking from and starts to leave the bar] ...just do me the only favour you can, will you, eh? Just leave me alone!
Oh, 'ey! What a day. I'm shattered [Flings his tools into storage]
Wayne signed on, then, Oz.
Gotta put up wi' you, have I?
Oh, cheers. It's his charm that knocks me out, you know(!)
Pour us a cup of tea, Nev.
Oh, aye! [Heads to the stove]
You know what, Nev? He's gettin' really bossy these days, in't he?
Aye, I reckon it's Barry's Planet of the Apes theory has gone to his heid. [Carries the kettle to the table while flailing his arms like a monkey]
Howay, man, just pour the tea.
Yeah, of course, the advantage of being a chippie is you don't have to work in the hot sun all day, y'know.
I blame Barry for all this palaver, yer kna. He's got us all convinced that we're missing Dennis's "leadership".
Yeah, yeah. Look, come on. What are we gonna do about him, eh? I mean, we've all leant on him enough for the past six months. It's time we gave the poor sod a hand.
Well that's just the trouble. He'll not let us.
Maybe it's his pride, eh?
M-maybe he just don't trust us.
Dennis
Just to avoid any more embarrasing scenes, I, er... shan't be goin' over the club tonight. I'm goin' down to town to get legless. So you lot will be safe where you are. [Leaves the hut]
I reckon instead of examining our behaviour, Professor bloody Barry should have a look at him! I've never seen a man so withdrawn. He's nae thought for his mates...
Neville Oh, aye? Maybe you should pool your knowledge of budgies with Barry's knowledge of chimps! Between yer, you might find a solution.
There's nae need for that, Nev, I'm just tryin tae...
Oh, isn't there? Seems to me you couldn't care less about Dennis!
All right, all right. I'll prove it, then. [Gets up and leaves the hut to follow Dennis downtown...]
Dennis
It's a bit of a choker, isn'it?
Is he gonna be all right?
Dennis
Aye. They've just sedated him. Had to give him a blood transfusion. Over two litres. It's a good job the ambulance got there so quick.
What happened, for God's sake?
Dennis
Oh, there was a bit of a rumble in this Bierkeller with some German lads. Magowan turned up. Oz got his arm slashed with a beer glass.
Magowan. I might have known! That man could start a fight in an empty house! An' Oz isn't far behind!
Dennis
You've got it wrong, Neville. It's my fault. I started all the trouble.
Dennis
Aye.
Dennis
Doctor, this is one of Mr. Osbourne's colleagues, Neville Hope.
DDoctor
Hello. [Neville shakes her hand]
DDoctor
Your friend is a very lucky man.
Aye, I know. We're very grateful for what you've done.
DDoctor
Don't thank me for doing my job, Mr. Hope. [She goes into Oz's room] Guten Abend. Ist alles gut? (Good evening. All is well?)
NNurse
Alles gut. (All good.)
DDoctor
I just wish you men could settle arguments without resorting to violence.
This isn't typical, Doctor.
DDoctor
I see a lot of people injured in stupid drunken fights about football or women.
Dennis
Yeah... is he going to be all right, then?
DDoctor
Oh, yes. He's lost a lot of blood, but that's been replaced. I've given him a sedative to help him rest. And, er... fortunately the wound isn't too large. He'll have a scar, of course. But, if he wishes, that can be put right.
DDoctor
[As they leave Oz's room] Yes. Cosmetic surgery, skin graft, whatever.
Oh, I hope you don't mind me askin', Doctor, but while you're here, is there anything I can do about this? [Takes off his coat]
Dennis
Look, Neville, I don't think this is the right place or time.
Oz won't mind, Dennis. And I've gotta do somethin' aboot it. [Rolls up his sleeve to show the doctor his tattoo]
Doctor [Glancing briefly at the tattoo] Who is Lotte?
I don't know. But it's not the wife. That's just the trouble.
DDoctor
So... this is an unwanted souvenir of your time in Germany.
Very much unwanted. I've already lied to the wife once about it. I bandaged it up and told her it was an injury. I cannae keep doin' that all me life, can I? [The doctor just looks at Neville.]
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet · 320 quotes
