UUli
Sieht sehr gut aus. Ja, stimmt das. (Looks good, that... yes, that's right.)
HHeidi
Aber kann nicht glauben, daß sein Vater Besitzer ist. (I can't believe his father is the owner.)
What's that, loves, eh? [A waitress brings their drinks over.]
UUli
He doesn't look rich.
No, no. He does his best to be like one of the lads, Oz. See, his father owns the business we all work for, you know. And, er... Oz takes over when the old man retires, you know. In the meantime he's got to work as a common bricklayer, just for three months, as he learns the business from all sides, like, you know.
[Having been to the toilet, returns to his seat, fiddling with his collar.] Right! Cheers, girls. I'm as dry as a boot.
UUli
Wayne was telling us about your father.
Oh, that bugger? [Wayne glances at Oz] Oh, that bugger! Oh, aye. Good bloke, me old man. Started from nothin', yer know, and er... built an empire. Isn't that right, Wayne?
Yeah, yeah. That's right. Erm... I was just telling the girls, you know, how one day it'll all be yours.
Oh, yeah. There's... there's McAlpine's, and Wimpey's, and then there's Osbourne & Son, that's us.
UUli
In the meantime you are just one of the boys?
Look again, pet. One of the men! [Uli seems rather taken with Oz.]
'Ere, Wayne, Wayne? I'm not sure I can keep this up, yer kna.
I didn't think you had that sort of problem, Oz. [Chuckles]
Nah, nah, man, yer kna what I'm talking aboot - stringin' the bird along, man.
'Ere, you're all right, mate. It's just a matter of, er, establishing your credibility, you know. The rest is down to your personal magnetism, innit, son?
I dunno why you've gotta cut out so soon.
Yes, well that's divide and rule, that's what I always say. See, I've been spending so much time in your case, I've been neglecting the lovely Heidi, ain't I?
Well, look, you'll have to lend us a couple of hundred.
I thought Nev gave you fifty.
He did. He did, but it's not gonna last long in this place, at these prices, is it? I mean, this Uli looks sophisticated. I mean, she might want steak.
[Hands some money to Oz] Look, here's a couple of hundred, right? Now, if that runs out, use your American Express Gold Card, right?
Oh, yes, I never leave the hut without it, do I(?)
[As they return to Uli and Heidi] All right, girls?
Right, girls. Hey! Ready for another drinkies? [They nod] Yeah? Get 'em in, Wayne.
Strange quirk of fate this, isn'it? Y'know? I mean... who'd have thought that me, who's always hated Krauts...
UUli
[Not understanding] You've always hated what?
Er... Crowds. Crowds. Traffic. I've always liked the countryside, yer know.
UUli
Oh. I too. But you were saying about fate.
Yeah, well, I mean, who would've thought that I'd be expanding the family empire here in Germany?
UUli
Where will you live?
Well, in a hut. Y'see, we couldn't get any decent hostel accommodation because it co... [Trying to keep to his story] Oh, right! Where will I live? Erm... well... in the mountains, over a river, yer know. A small castle would just about do it. After all, I'm all alone. Where do you live, Uli?
UUli
Oh... please, I'd rather not talk about me.
You're not married, are yer?
Oh, right, aye. Dennis is gettin' a divorce. That's Dennis, one of the lads who works for us, yer know. Oh, it's costin' him a fortune in maintenance.
UUli
I try to be independent with money. I have my own job.
UUli
As a beauty consultant.
Oh, right, right. Well, that's a canny job, isn'it? Hey, listen, you'll have to do me toenails sometime!
UUli
[Chuckles] It's hard to be independent with a jealous boyfriend.
[Taken aback somewhat] Boyfriend? [Uli nods] What, is he... a big bloke, is he?
UUli
[Hesitantly] Yes... but he's not so important as you are. I've wanted to leave him for a long time, but, er... he's very possessive.
Well, I can be very possessive meself, yer know, when I have to be! I can be when the need arises...
[Entering the lounge] Oz, I want a word with you. [Sees Uli] Oh, excuse me, pet. Er, I just want a quick word with the chief here.
UUli
Oh, is this one of your men?
Er... yeah, one of the lads. That's aboot it. [Reaches into his pocket]
UUli
So, you are in Oz's company?
Yeah, well, look, er... I kna what yer after, son. Listen... [Hands out a fifty mark note] Will fifty do yer?
[Taking the money] Oh... thanks, Oz. You're a gentleman!
I kna, I kna, but, yer kna... there's no need to tell everybody aboot it, man.
Right, er... good night, miss.
Now, don't be late in the mornin', will yer? [Neville leaves the bar, a bit confused] Young and daft, yer kna. [Raises his beer] Cheers!
Guten Abend, mein Herren.
Ah, you English. The English are always welcome here. I will get someone to take good care of you. [Claps his hands] Won't be long. [Out comes the masseuse. It's Uli, but Bomber doesn't know.]
[As he goes into the back] Have we met before, my dear?
UUli
I do not think so. My name is Uli. [The penny drops with Bomber.]
He does look relaxed, eh? Done your neck the power of good, has it, sunshine?
[To the barman] Can I have one here, chief? [Asks the others] Is Oz around?
Nah. He's, er... over the hut, helpin' with the decorating.
Lyin' on his bed, criticising!
He's very good at interior decor, our Oz(!) [He, Dennis and Neville laugh]
[Noticing Bomber is a little bit quiet] What's the matter, Bomb?
It's a bit awkward, and I think this should go no further.
I thought you'd went to a massage parlour, eh?
Head girl, by the looks of it.
I don't believe it. I met her through that Heidi, you know?
What, is she in that game as well?
Nah, nah, nah. She works on the cosmetic counter at Millers, she does. Well, at least I hope she does. Certainly smells like it!
Look, are you sure it was her, Bomber?
Her name was Uli, and I recognised her from the photograph.
So... she's not a beauty consultant?
Well, what do you think she does 'round there, son, eh? Facials?
It gets worse. According to my mate Dieter, who took me there, her boyfriend's the bloke that owns the place. Nasty piece of work, he looks.
That makes two of 'em, doesn't it?
Well, I call it poetic jutsice meself.
[Noticing everyone looking at him] I suppose I'll have to, eh?
Oz might be very upset, yer kna. Emotionally, like.
That's a sobering thought, ain't it, eh?
UUli
[On the phone] Wir erwarten Sie um drei Uhr? Bis dann. (Will three o'clock suit you? See you then.) [She puts the phone down, then notices Oz glaring at her]
UUli
How did you find me here?
Never mind, love. Get yer coat on, I wanna talk to you.
UUli
I cannot. Perhaps later.
Later?! I think the sooner the better, d'you not?
[Entering the reception] Guten Abend.
Ah, you English! English are always welcome here.
UUli
The gentleman is not staying.
Apparently not. But listen, Uli, we've got to have a talk, an' there's things to be said, isn't there? Look, I'll be in the Tivoli tomorrow night, eh? [He leaves.]
[Admonishes Uli in Turkish]
UUli
Das ist nicht. (It was nothing.)
Nicht? Nicht?! (Nothing? Nothing?!) [He continues to shout at her in Turkish and hits her across the face.]
[Handing Uli a drink] You look like you could do with that.
Cheers. [They raise their glasses. Oz sees the extent of the bruises] He do that to you, did he?
I'm not surprised. Bloody maniac. He come after me with a knife, yer know.
Did he tell you about that the...
Aye. [Uli chuckles and nods] Yeah. Well, I suppose he were only trying to help, yer know. What a bloody cheek, though!
UUli
Well, I didn't tell him that I know better. Look, I'm sorry I lied to you. I want to explain. You were my only chance to get out, to go to England where he couldn't hurt me.
You must've been pretty desperate to pick a bloke like me.
UUli
You were nice, and kind.
UUli
Oh, no, that had nothing to do with it.
'Cos, er... it wasn't true, yer kna.
Nah. Well, you weren't the only one that sort of made things out to be er, yer kna, a little bit different to what they were. Listen, I'm not any tycoon's son. My dad hasn't even got a business.
Nah. My old man was a layabout and a drunk. He buggered off when I was a bairn. Last thing I saw of him was, er, huntin' around the house for a pair of socks, prior to pissing off to the Persian Gulf on an oil tanker. See... I spun that whole yarn just to try and impress you, yer kna. Kept it all going... just to keep you.
UUli
[Shocked] ...Well, I feel better that you also didn't tell the truth.
Well... you might as well know the lot. I'm married as well.
Officially. Only in England, mind. Yer kna... But I mean, you've got somebody as well, havvn't yer? I mean, you've got this Kemal bloke.
Look, Uli, I mean, the main thing is, you've got to give this bloke the elbow, haven't yer? You've gotta give him the heave-ho, the push, the shove... Leave the bugger! Yer know? I mean, try... Pack a bag and try a new town.
UUli
[Shaking her head] It's difficult.
I know, I know, but I thought maybes, yer kna, when this has all blown over I thought maybe we could pick it up where we left off.
UUli
Maybe, huh? But, you know, Kemal is a bad man, and I don't want any more trouble for you.
He'll not cause me any more trouble. He'll not cause you any more trouble either. He's only one man, yer kna.
UUli
Yes, but he has two brothers, and they're all bad people.
Yes, but I've got six mates, an' if we count the whole building site, that's nearly 100. I don't think the Kemal brothers'll wanna mess with that lot!
Being in the business, you know, it's easy for us to see how flimsy this construction is. [Pulls the blinds off the window] In't that right, lads?
Oh, aye, yeah. Definitely Jerry-built.
I could sneeze, it would fall down.
What i'm sayin' is, y'see, we're just as good at demolition as we are at construction.
[Takes his cigar out of his mouth] You are threatening me?
Listen. You lay one more finger on that girl, right... [Points to Bomber] ...and he'll hit you so hard your family'll feel it back in Istanbul!
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet · 320 quotes
