[whispering from offscreen] Psst.. Pam!
Oh, Already?! [to the "shrimp" she's holding] Look, auditory hallucinations aren't gonna make you any less delicious!
S4 E12Sea Tunt: Part I
S4 E13Sea Tunt: Part II
[To her brother] You really spent your entire inheritance on... the poors?
CMCpt. Murphy
I'll be waiting for you.
Was that... Did he sound like... Do you think this is some kind of a trap?
What? No, I don't think it's a trap! Although I never do. [Beat] And it very often is.
We're from ISIS.
CMCpt. Murphy
Jesus Christ, no wonder this all went tits-up.
LANA! Would you hurry up?
Said the guy apparently too busy counting his bionic legs to help.
S5 E1White Elephant
Yeah, they're shooting at you!
Who?
The storm ninjas!
What? That's not a thing, idiot! [beat] Oh. I stand corrected.
Son of a...bitches, I am pregnant!
Yes! Who could forget, with the bastard spawn of a total stranger.
Okay, first of all... [flashbang lands near Cyril] Cover your eyes and ears!
You're not the boss of me! [flashbang goes off] Meep? Meep?
Well, he died doing what he loved...getting shot.
FFBI Agent
Uh, sir? It's like you said. He's dug in there like a tick and...
Never! You'll never take me alive!
HAgent Holly
[sighs] Okay, breach it.
FFBI Agent
Roger that. [detonates breaching charge]
On second thought, I very much prefer to be taken alive. Just let me clear the ol' browser history and—no, no, no, no, n— [agents choke-tackle him] OOF! Oh, come on!
I said Ms. Archer had an affair with the head of the KGB for like 30 years.
Yeah, until he got blown up. Which was actually my fault.
Because she was busy having choke-sex with a murderous cyborg who then became the new head of the KGB.
Until I built a sexier one out of illegal Soviet parts. And a corpse.
Oh, Jesus I forgot about the...
Giant pot farm in West Virginia.
And this whole other thing with the Yakuza.
Irish mob.
Piracy.
White slavery.
No, actual piracy. With, like, boats.
Is it murder if they were my own clones? [beat] I'm seriously asking.
Defiling a corpse.
Defiling a different corpse.
Kidnapping the Pope...
[laughs] Faking my own kidnapping! Arson...
Bum fights! You know like when you pay bums to...
Destroy an oil pipeline in...
I wanna say Burt Reynolds!
Turkmenistan?
Archer Vice.
What?
Nothing. Shut up.
S5 E2Archer Vice: A Kiss While Dying
What's in Miami?
Besides 90% of all mosquitoes and Cubans on earth?
That sounds high.
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