[Cyril activates a laser alarm]
How could you not see that?!
Because, I only have two eyes and they were both busy looking for hunters!
[Referring to Cyril's bright orange snow clothes] Why, is it "pumpkin season"?!
[Gasps] Is that a thing?
S4 E2The Wind Cries Mary
[Seeing Cyril's orange snow clothes on the ground] Okay, so...really don't know what to make of that. Unless...[Looks around] Wait, no, no. Get it out of your head. Predator only hunts in tropical jungles...I assume...and desperately hope.
S4 E3Legs
Ray's gonna be a cyborg over my dead body! Or preferably his! [Pause] But somebody's!
Jesus Christ, how many times do I have to apologize for that?
Once would be nice!
Hmm... No.
Are you going to open the damn door?
Only if you give me that weapon.
Do you honestly want to live through the Rise of the Machines?! Which you won't, because no one will?!
Uh—
It was rhetorical!
A small power unit goes here on your... spiney thing, which sends electical impulses to your muscles and ligaments and... stuff, which I will fuse to a vanadium alloy endoskeleton, replacing your current, uh, leg bones.
I have to say, it kind of worries me that you don't know the names of the actual bones.
Why is your instinctive response to run toward explosions?
Ummm... Because... I'm not a giant pussy!
And yet, somehow, incredibly single.
[Cheryl is hysterical. Archer slaps her.]
Whoa whoa whoa! Not cool man! That is not at all cool!
Rodney, you mind your own dicky beeswax! [To Archer] You got another one in ya?
I don't.
[seductively] Tease.
And I'm sorry for that one.
Don't be.
Because, I'm just going to say it, I think it's super creepy you get sexually aroused by physical violence.
Mmmm... Well, but also emotional violence...
[Archer suddenly crashes through the ceiling, naked, armed with an RPG. He stands and faces Cyril.]
[In a Terminator voice] Your clothes. Give them to me!
Ah!
[In normal voice] I'm just kidding, obviously! I wouldn't be caught dead in a sweater-vest! Now, if you'll excuse me... [Passes out]
Just like Fourth of Jul-Luau!
CCarol
Yeah, if you slid a pig under him.
Thank you... What was your name again?
Rodney.
Thank you. Asshole.
S4 E4Midnight Ron
...Which is why Ron Cadillac is opting out. And also why Ron Cadillac is going to swing by Montreal on his way home. Because Ron Cadillac is FREAKING EPIC!
Gimme a break ah? That wasn't my fault
[Finishes drinking bourbon, burps] Yeah, no. I mean obviously this was all due to the butterfly effect.
The what?
Butterfly effect. You know, a butterfly in Africa lands on a giraffe's nose, the giraffe sneezes, that spooks a gazelle, the gazelle bonks into a rhinoceros, and the rhinoceros blindly stampedes into a phone booth, calls New York somehow and says "Hey, go kill this idiot Ron, for a suitcase," because the rhinoceros speaks English! [beat] What's in the suitcase, Ron?
S4 E5Vicious Coupling
My cooch has cobwebs!
Damn you, tinnitus, you're a cruel mistress!
Since certain people around here may not see how brilliant my plan is, they're gonna need to be...
Convinced?
I'm sorry, did you say "incapacitated"?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Archer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.