Master Shake quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Master Shake

Where do you two think you're going?

Frylock

Wherever the hell we want.

Master Shake

Not without me!

We're going to see Little Brittle at the old folks home.

Master Shake

Go without me!

Master Shake

Frylock! You're not gonna believe this! A prowler broke in here and forced your cupcakes in my mouth, and he said if you don't leave the room right now, and let him use the internet, he'll shoot me!

Frylock

Fine.

Master Shake

He has a gun, you know.

Frylock

Well, he said he'd shoot you, so I did figured it was a gun.

Master Shake

Frylock, I am completely serious here- [Frylock picks up a tray of cupcakes]... You had MORE cupcakes?!

Frylock

Oh you think I can just leave whatever the hell I want around you?

Master Shake

Well I leave things around you and I don't cry!

[to Shake] Hey, hey. Yeah, you. Where is my high powered video game console? I will kick some ass if I do not find it.

Shake

I told myself I wouldn't do this, but you've been so good this week that I upgraded it with these special chips.

[Eating the crumbs] Mmmmh, thems chocolate chips.

Shake

Yeah, and "thems", ants! It's a new game called "Ant Madness" only this time, the game is real. Can you handle it?

Deliciously. Hows it work? What's the object? How many bosses must I face?

Shake

It is a race against time and terror to save the world starring Eric Stoltz.

Oh, yea yea I play this all the time.

Shake

Play again! Hurry man, before there's still time!

[rolling around in ants] Just roll around in there?

Shake

Yeah just piss them off real good.

Hello lady or gentleman of the house. My name is insert name and I am the one and only Moon Master, savior of..uh.. [looks up to see Shake and Meatwad dressed as moon masters] Oh man. They already talked to you didn't they?! Dammit!

Shake!! Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Sha-

Master Shake

(screams angrily) What?!

(sees Shake glaring at him in front of the Aqua Teen door) Oh, so you just waltz out here and think that you gonna face a true warrior? ..and then, ya know.. sign my sheet and be part of my warrior list..

Master Shake

Oh you better believe I will! After these messages![He goes inside and watches TV. Meatwad calls him again. He comes outside and uses a shotgun and shoots Meatwad's toy sword]

You done messed up the Lunar Sceptor! There is but one in the known galaxy! Well, thank God I bought the three-pack.

Master Shake

Thank God I brought three shells. Come on, whip 'em out.

Well, whip on this. [pulls out an amulet] All right, hang on. Sha na na na na, sha na na na.

Master Shake

What the hell are you doing?

G-Get a job.

Master Shake

"Get a job?" What?

You feelin' like any sorta like, meltin' sensation?

Master Shake

No, but if I do I'm going to totally tell on you and then you'll have to go to jail.

No, no, no! Please, don't tell!

Master Shake

Oohhh, now that you mention it...

No, no, don't, just, I-I won't do it again. I won't do it again. But stand still.. I'm gonna do it again. Sha na na na-

Impossible, the lunar melting amulet is constructed of high tensile moon noodles. No mortal man can destroy it.

Master Shake

Yeah, that's right.

Then you, too, are a moon master!

Master Shake

Now and forever.

Master Shake

I don't know why your exercising. It's just sweat that you're gonna have to wash off. Exercising's for dummies and women.

Yeah, you oughta hop on my diet, man. Started it two days ago and I'm already at my target weight.

Which'un?

South Bronx Paradise Diet, baby! Yeeeeah! The twist is you eat MORE than you want, then you supplement that with this special candy bar. And it ain't like them sissy No Crabs diet either.

Frylock

I think that's No Carbs, Carl.

See, but I have crabs. So I don't qualify for that. Have I told you that before?

Frylock

Yeah.

Funny story-

Master Shake

Well, I don't have to watch what I eat OR what I do. Call me Mr. Untouchable!

Frylock

Yeah, and that's why you're a candidate for heart disease.

Master Shake

Well...I have three hearts...cuz I'm from Tattooine. And my mother-

Frylock

No you're not.

Master Shake

Really? Cuz you know I get my physical every year...on Alderaan!!

Frylock

That didn't happen.

Master Shake

[visibly frustrated] Well...I...I am from the Dagoba System!

Master Shake

[Lying on Frylock's bed with a pan of strawberries in an attempt to seduce Dusty] C'mon in lover. I'm just in here you know... wearing a mask and tickling myself with an ostrich feather. [Eats a strawberry] Oh ho ho.

[Flips light switch off and on] Your power's back on.

Master Shake

[Shocked]

Hey. Can I have one of those strawberries?

Master Shake

No! Get out of here!

You're...ah...you're frickin Dusty Gazongas! I seen your billboard on the interstate there. You dance out at the Wild Wild Chest.

No, you thinkin of that girl down at Funbag Junction. That's Busty Bazookas.

Master Shake

I think you're talking about Nipple Hut.

You're thinking Crotch Town.

Master Shake

Crotch Town?

Crotch Town?

Yeah, it's near Boob-burg, but Boob-burg....eh, kinda weak.

What IS my name?

You're Dusty Gazongas.

That's my name!!! [giggles]

I can't believe that you let a silly woman get between you and your friendship.

Frylock

'Specially one that doesn't even know who you are.

Master Shake

It's disgusting, isn't it? Breaks my heart that I have to sue his ass back to the stone age.

I'm right here, Shake! You wanna go right now? We'll go right now!

Master Shake

C'mon, fat boy!

Where are ya?

Whoa, whoa, break it up guys, and listen to me. Love's a wonderous thing. But there's more to it than the physical experience, like … like … oh, hell, I dunno, she had some tig-ole-bitties, didn't she?

Frylock

Yeah, she did.

Amen to that.

Shake

Oh, God, how much longer? Egypt is so boring. It doesn't even exist anymore, I mean, you don't hear DMX rap about it!

I find that this is highly effiligent in edumacationus for my brain, because, I am smart, boy!

Master Shake

You tell me how this is gonna help you get a high-powered six-figure job. You think they ask Tom Cruise this stuff before he signs on his movies? No one has to know this, ever!

Frylock

Shake, just go back to the gift-shop and let Meatwad and I enjoy the exhibit, okay?

Master Shake

You need me here! I am a strong counterpoint to the headphones!

Man, You're thinking of stealing that shirt, don't you?

Shake

Yeah, think about it. Yes. Now take the form of a hammer!

Shake

Master, can I ask a question? You said we'd be trading off at some point. Is that close?

We gonna finish up America, then we do Europe, then you knock out the Middle East yourself.

Shake

Fuck you!

Cry me a river, bitch!

Shake

Thank you! You sir, you've got a nice young lady with you! What's your name?

Phil Cabinet.

Shake

You precious little thing, where ya from, Phil?

We're from...Kill Yourself!

Shake

Alright, Phil from Kill Yourself! And who's this with you? [growls seductively]

This is my six-month-old, and her name is Wear a Hat Made Out of Foil. This is my wife, Lock Yourself in a Cold Dark Room.

Hi.

Shake

And how long have you two lovely people been married?

Oh, about smear yourself with garbage and try to cross the freeway.

We just celebrated our eat your own dung.

Shake

Great to hear, yummy too! [laughter] Hey, Phil, thanks for comin' out. Like the shirt, both of you, you match!

Shake

Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for Tulip Sniper!

Thank you, thank you very much! Die! [fires another burst] Die, all of you.

Shake

Tell him I've never been to Branson.

He's never been there!

Master Shake

That is a lie and you are liar for saying that. I've never been to Branson in my life.

Frylock

Don't tell me you don't remember that. It was just last week!

Yeah, you ate that batch of bad ribs after the Gatlin Brothers concert and made Frylock blow the door off that truckstop bathroom because you said you couldn't wait for the bathroom key, squeezin' your butt cheeks together tryin' to keep it in.

Master Shake

I don't even know Charles Branson. Someone's losin' their mind, Jack, 'cause that never happened. [pointing to Meatwad] He's already lost his. [looking at Frylock] I'm lookin' at you, big boy.

[eating] This is good.

Master Shake

You're pouring them down your throat! Ya know, if you chewed 'em it would make them a little more enjoyable. Look at you, you don't care.

Come on, Shake. Frylock's tryin' to get him some down there. Be a good wing man.

Master Shake

I would, but she won't let me have any. I'm afraid to get my hands by the plate. She might suck 'em down.