Master Shake quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Hey how you guys doin'? Anybody without a gun, a knife, a handkerchief and a chapstick get the fuck outta here!

Frylock

Who are you?

Shake

Gee Whiz?

That is FREAKIN TED NUGENT! [shot with an arrow] Ahh! you shot my arm!

Sorry man, thought you were a varmin.

Shake

Wango ze tango eh?

Yes it is my image you saw in that billboard

Shake

I kept tellin' him, Ted Nugent. He's stupid

Which of you numbnuts left a dollar in front of my billboard?

Hey Nug, you gonna sign my arrow?

Don't move man.

I got a Cat Scratch Fever loincloth I still wear on laundry night.

I'm tellin' ya, don't move!

Why, what's the- AAAAAHHH!! [Carl explodes; rainbow appears]

Frylock

Well I'm sure glad that wasn't blood. I would have been motherfuckin' offended out of my fuckin' ass.

Master Shake

Me too, ya motherfuckin' cock-suck.

[green check mark appears] Acceptable!

Why don't you just go to the hose, drink you some water? Like the dog you are.

Master Shake

I'm not turning on some analog faucet to drink some barbaric water. The mouth is a primitive hole that will soon be phased out; you better start takin' some pictures of those!

Could you phase it out now? Cuz it's pissin' me off.

What the hell is that?

Master Shake

It takes your MP3's that you download live off the Internet and transforms them into this song!

Yeah but will it do the ultimate song... Boston's "More Than A Feeling"?

[to Shake] Hey boy, I'm Commander Meat, and you are in direct violation of Space Treaty 109. Your ass is mine.

Master Shake

Ah HA! Treaties only go up to 103. Everyone from space knows that.

Well, I mean I know that. I was just playin' with you.

Master Shake

Those treaties are very real and very serious. [realizes Meatwad has the ehelmet Shake gave to Frylock] Is that, where did you get- That is not your ehelmet!

Well yeah it is. 'Cause Frylock said it was stupid, that's why I could wear it, 'cause I don't know no better.

Master Shake

What are you doing?

Painting you with honey.

Master Shake

Eh, that could be cool ... [notices a package on the ground] Is that... is that my package?

Nuh-uh. This is MY package.

Master Shake

No it's not, it's mine!

I'm allowed to get a package if I want to.

Master Shake

OK, so what's in your package that's not mine?

I dunno, let's see ... (opens package) BEES, BOY, BEES!!!

Master Shake

AHH, CARL!!! HELP! I'M BEING ATTACKED BY BEES HERE!!!!

Bees? didja get that link I sent you, about the woman having sex with a bee?

Master Shake

Will you shut up?!

Master Shake

You know, I'm kinda gettin' a bad headache.

Yeah, I know what you mean, man.

Master Shake

And I don't know if it's this song, or if it is the heavy magnets that were inserted into the base of my neck.

Here's something that must be attached to your head.

Master Shake

I just may. What is it?

Well, it's an e-booger. See, it allows...booger transmission...to the snot network!

Master Shake

WAIT!!

I wiped it on you, boy!

Master Shake

Wipe it off! Great, it's gonna harden now.

What are you doin' ?

Shake

We are advancing the world with technology

Cuz it looks like... dem boys is... that droids in heat..

Frylock

Meatwad back away, that's not something you should be seeing.

Will someone tell me what's going on here?

They makin babies out here.

Shake

We need the intelligence helmets... to give them reason. Frylock, order the intelligence helmets immediately.

Do Standard Delivery.

Shake

Same Day! Same Day! It's gotta be same day!

Frylock

Alright, it's here.

Shake

Alright!

Shut up, let him talk!

Frylock

It has intelligence... but... of a 4 year old.

Craaaaap.

Shake

That's fine... A child knows pain... and a 4 year old would definitely run from this.

Turn it on!

No means no! I'm telling on you!

Aww... I feel like I should call my parents

Shake

Intelligence is a wonderful thing... The control and restraint shown--

Oh boy! A pool! Mommy, I go swimming! [jumps in and gets shocked]

No, leave her! She's too young for you-- GAH!! [jumps in too]

Good mornin'! I'll have me two Steak-Umms.

Shake

You're about to learn the value of a hard... day's... night! Because you need to get out there, and start working on a job!

That'd be a violation of child labor laws.

Frylock

Well, he is right. He's too young...uh, besides, there are sanitation issues...

That's right! This hand, been up my butt... but I'll touch your food all day long with it!

Shake

Well, your congressman will know about how... bullcrap... this is!

Shake

What the hell is this? I told you fireman, astronaut, racecar driver, maybe bikini judge, and this is what I get? Food service? Are you kidding me? This is third world, and I'm from the first! I'm number one, baby.

Frylock

I'm amazed they even hired you.

Frylock

Did you even read the training manual?

Shake

The only thing I read are the zeroes on my paycheck.

Frylock

Look, okay, I'll do this, why don't you go and give out free shots of that ham.

Shake

That was ham in that pitcher?!

Frylock

No, that was "Fried Chiquid".

Shake

Who friggin' thought of this place?!

Shake

Where are those girls? Did you give them the money yet?

Frylock

Does it look like it?

Shake

I was supposed to buy them wine coolers!