Finn the Human quotes from Adventure Time

Finn

Ice King, get out of Princess—

Ice King

I'M LEAVING!!!

Finn

Now that's a time machine.

Jake

Hey, sweetie! Sweetie, look! Your time machine's all ready!

Aw yeah, you havin' fun, dad?

Jake

Aw, anything for my baby pup.

OK. As long as you're having fun.

Jake

[laughing] Time machine! SHIPYOW!

Ha-ha! There it is! You see? The birdhouse door—it's right above the peg thingy. Why didn't I think of that? [laughing] Well, I guess that's it for this week. I'll see you crimpy glimmers on the-- what? What's that? You want to finish the grayble? [the screen is seen moving up and down, implying the viewer is shaking his head in confirmation] You want to see if you can still guess the theme? [the screen is seen left and right, implying the viewer is shaking his head in negation] You just want to see how it ends. [the screen is seen moving up and down, implying the viewer is shaking his head in confirmation] Well, let's get right to it, then. Ha-ha.

STRANGER! STRANGER! STRANGER! STRANGER! STRANGER! [he is shown pointing toward Cinnamon Bun trying to take the night-light in form of Jake. As he continues saying "STRANGER!", Cinnamon Bun puts his finger before his lips, telling BMO to hush. Jake Jr. then walks up to BMO and types "ITS OK," making BMO disarm the alarm] Excuse me.

[puts BMO down and turns toward Cinnamon Bun] HEY! Why are you trying to steal my dad's stuff!?!

Cinnamon Bun

Hey, I need a night-light because I'm so scared!

Man, you can't steal, dummy. [Cinnamon Bun starts crying] Fine! [uses her hair to get the night-light and gives it to Cinnamon Bun] Here. NOW GET LOST!

Cinnamon Bun

[gasps; laughing] Yes! Take that, Princess Bubblegum! [leaves the Tree Fort in a hurry; Jake Jr. closes the door]

Jake Jr., I'm sorry for messing up your time travel.

Aw, that's OK. [pets BMO, making it smile] It was just make-believe, anyways.

Finn

O-ho-ho, was it? Then how do you explain tomorrow's newspaper?

Finn

[meets Ann at the pharmacy] I'm Finn. [holds Jake as a police badge] This is my partner, Jake.

Jake

Hello, citizen. Had anyone in here looking to buy some mini adhesive bandages today?

A lot of people come through my store, gentlemen. You can't seriously think I'd be able to remember any one particular customer among the countless others I see on a daily basis now, can you?

Finn

[long beat] I guess not. Fair do's. C'mon, Jake—

Wait! Now that you mention it, there was this one guy in here earlier. Real suspicious type. Had a nosebleed. Said it was the first one he'd had in years. [Finn takes out a notepad and writes down] Used to get them all the time as a kid, he said. [Jake slaps notepad away, jumps onto Finn's hand as a notepad] Could never remember if he was supposed to pinch his nose and hold his head back, [Finn tries to put his pencil on Jake but keeps the point away from him] or pinch his nose and hold his head forward. [Finn finally pokes Jake's body] Maybe it was a case of being boxed on the nose too many times—made the blood vessels in his lower septum weak and vulnerable to hemorrhaging. Anyway, his mammy always said it was because he couldn't keep all those picky little fingers out of his dirty little nose holes. [Jake climbs on top of Finn's head, morphs into a police hat] He didn't buy it, though. He always thought it had—

Finn

Ma'am, can you give us a name?

Mmmm... nope. No, wait—yes, I can. Pete Sassafrass.

Finn

Did you catch which way he was going?

Of course! He said he was catching a train at 11:27, Candy Kingdom station, Platform 5. Heh. I'm sorry, I wish I could remember more.

Finn

Man, we didn't just crack that case... [throws donuts bags to Jake as a police car] we crunched it. Crumbled it.

Jake

We are awesome at being cops. [munches donut] There's no question about that.

Finn

Ahh, call me crazy, but I was thinking... maybe we should actually become detectives, like... as a job! When we were out on the streets back there, getting those leads, busting that perp, it just felt so... I don't know... right. [Jake's head forms up underneath Finn's coffee cup]

Jake

I know, man. [eats donut] I actually totally do know exactly what you mean. [Finn takes a yellow donut out of his bag and munches it]

Finn

Ah— dude. [show Finn sitting on the street with Jake in his hands]

Jake

I told you, I have a problem. [turns back, sweating] I can't stop!

Jake

You were a little rough with the Jake suit today, bro. You mashed up my doggy bag pretty hard.

Finn

Why didn't you stop me?

Jake

When you're in my body, it pushes out my brain, so I have no control.

Finn

Come on, bro, taking pain is easy. You just have to imagine that every bruise is a hickey from the universe. And everyone wants to get with the universe.

Jake

I bet you wouldn't be saying that nonsense if I wore you as a suit.

Finn

I bet I would be saying that nonsense.

Jake

Okay, bro, let's see how you like it. I'll bring the pain!

Finn

Do it, bro! Get in here!

Finn

Hi, Lady. [walks around, kicks front door open]

Lady Rainicorn

[in Korean] ("Finn! Where are you going? Where is Jake?") [Jake stretches out of Finn's mouth]

Jake

I'm right here.

Lady Rainicorn

Oh... [T.V. walks by holding a bowl of nachos]

'Sup?

Jake

What's T.V. doing here? I thought all the kids found apartments.

Lady Rainicorn

("It's just that he won't leave the house, regardless what I say to him.") [T.V. starts typing on his computer]

Jake

Ha-ha! That's my boy. Momma's basement baby. [sighs. He makes Finn sit down on bean bag chair]

Lady Rainicorn

("Jake, what are you doing? Why are you in Finn's body?")

Jake

Oh, it's this bet we're doing. It's not really a bet. It's more like a showdown. I'm trying to get him to admit that it's hard when someone wears you as a suit. How do I win the bet, Lady?

Hey, Dad? Why don't you try jumping in a volcano?

Finn

[distorted] Beemo? [see a distorting image of Finn and Jake]

Jake

Beemo? [BMO groans]

Finn

Beemo, are you okay?

Jake

What did you do?

It wasn't me. I didn't do [glitching] noth— do noth— do nothing.

Finn

Come on, Beemo. We gotta get you to the hospital or whatevs.

No, no. I am fine. Really. [BMO's screen glitches out and he yells in pain. He emits smoke and stops glitching] Oh, yes... okay. Please take me to get fixed. I need— need— need— need to get new core system drivers installed. We can get them at the MO Factory in the Bad Lands, where I was born.

Finn

The MO Factory?

Yeah. I am programmed with emergency instructions to get there. Come on! There's no—no—no—no—no time to lo—lo—lo—lo—lose.

Ice King

Oh, man! Times! I call times! [encases himself in a larger version of his head, whimpers]

It's only okay if the person who's making the fun is someone that I'm [punches off nose] cool with.

Ice King

We're totes cool! I-I-I'm Ice King!

[continues punching parts off] And they do it in a respectful and knowing way!

Ice King

Respect? I got all kinds of respect! [she lands down]

Oh, yeah? [a moving snow bear approaches behind her] Then what's with that stupid, smirky face?

Ice King

Smirk? Why, I smirk when I'm nervous.

Ugh, bear hug!! [crushes her]

WHAAAH!!! [cools down, Finn gasps]

Ice King

And also when I'm about to win! [cackles] Boo-yah! And I didn't even get to test out my new fireproof grundies.

Finn

Put it away, man! You didn't win nothin'!

Finn

Jake! I had another dream! My body was being blasted! [inhales sharply] But this time, Ice King was blasting me with ice cubes! Ohh! It was awful! And someone else was there. He was just laughing and laughing. He was in the first dream too, but he was whispering. I couldn't make out what he was saying. [snaps finger] Oh, yeah! It was the Cosmic Owl! [Jake spits out all his tea off his mouth]

Jake

WHAT?!! You didn't tell me the Cosmic Owl was there!!

Finn

I couldn't see him last time!

Jake

Dude, that means it was a prophetic dream. You have to finish the original dream! Cosmic Owl could be whispering something wildly significant! You have to get Flame Princess and Ice King to fight again so you can see the end of the dream! Make 'em fight!! Ahh!! Do it now!!

Finn

"Dear Ice King, you smell like stink, you're unpleasant, you're not funny, you're old, blahblahblahblah, sincerely love, Flame Princess. P.S. Let us fight!!" HAHHHRR!! [writes another paper] "Dear Flame Princess, you're just the worst, your hair is bad, your feet smell like face cheeks, blahblahblah, let's meet up and fight, dummy, sincerely, Ice King." [checks both papers] Hm. Flame Princess fight Ice King.

Jake

[on the phone] Yo, man. How's it going? Terrible?

Finn

Well, yeah, mostly. But I think I learned something.

Jake

Go on.

Finn

Well, I'm thinkin' maybe age isn't just a number. Maybe older people, like, really are different. You know? Like, less fun inside.

Jake

So what you sayin' here?

Finn

I'm saying I think I really sbonked up. I gotta patch things up with Flame Princess.

Jake

Oh, dang! Didn't you hear? She's got a new boyfriend already!

Finn

What?! [Jake laughs]

Jake

Man, I'm just kiddin'. [both laugh]

Finn

Oh, yeah... [Jake chuckles]

Jake

She might, though.

The Ice King?! Grrr—eugh!

Ice King

Geez, you couldn't wait two seconds?

Finn

Ech... Why are you stinkin' up our house?

Ice King

Didn't you get my text? It said I'm stayin' with you guys— [takes out banana phone with Gunter keychain] oh, didn't go through. Well, anyways, I knew you wouldn't mind since it's sorta your fault I'm homeless, right? [searches duffle bag]

Finn

Right.

Ice King

'Cause you tricked your crazy ex into melting my Ice Kingdom?

Finn

Mm-hmm...

Ice King

With your lies and secrets? 'Member when that happened?

Jake

Dude, you can't stay here if you're gonna stank it up with your bad vibes, man! [Ice King sprays air freshener, Finn and Jake cough]

Ice King

Yeah, I'm just crashing here while the penguins rebuild. I've given Gunter temporary reign.

Ice King

Should be fine.

Finn

Flame Princess isn't crazy.

Ice King

You're blind, Finn. You're blind! Wait, she isn't here, is she?

Finn

No.

Ice King

Whew!

Finn

She said she wanted time to herself. [walks out]

Ice King

Yeesh!

Jake

Yeah. Breakups are tough.

Ice King

Heh. Yeah, like remember how you and I were married?

Jake

Hey, Mr. Cupcake, you stay away [starts slowing down] from Lady!

Finn

[offscreen] No, man! Stay sad! Make yourself sad!

Jake

Uhh... [he imagines Mr. Cupcake at his grave]

I-I love you, Jake. We should have hung out more.

Jake

What? Um... I love you too, Mr. Cupcake. I-I didn't want to hang because I thought Lady was into your muscles. And I thought if we'd hung out, you'd sweet-talk her and take her from me.

What?! I would never! I've got so much respect for you.

Jake

Dude, I have so much respect for you! I try to be like you in some aspects of my life! Look, if something were to happen to me, and I wasn't here anymore, I'd want you to take care of Lady and the kids.

That means so much to me. [crying, cradles his gravestone] I wish we had more time together.

Jake

[tearing up] Me... too! [sobbing hysterically, starts running closer to Magic Man]

Finn

Yeah, Jake! The wetter, the better! Keep crying!!

Jake

I'm sorry, Mr. Cupcake!!

Jake

Yo, bro, you're sleepwalking again! Wake up! [whacks Finn awake]

Finn

Whoa! Jake? Was I...?

Jake

Yes, Finn. Again. Every time, youse is screaming about "she's got me!" and all that.

Finn

She's got... what?

Jake

Wait, you don't remember? You just woke up, man! Recall it, baby! Come on! [Finn grunts, punches his temples] That's too much. Don't punch yourself.

Finn

[sighs] It's gone, I don't know.

Jake

Haah... [holds Finn] You're repressing the memory, dude.

Finn

I'm what?

Jake

You're hiding whatever she is in a mental vault.

Finn

Oh yeah, the vault. That's where the stuff I can't handle goes. Kerplunk!

Jake

Okay, so you even know you're doing it.

Finn

Yeah! [chuckles]

Jake

Listen, we gotta find out who this lady is. Gotta open the vault a little.

Finn

No, sir.

Jake

It's just gonna keep happening, man!

Finn

It's all right. I'm not hurting anybody.

Jake

Finn, for reals.

Finn

[shivering] Nooooo!!

Jake

All right! Chill, chill! Don't sweat it, man. It's not even a thing.

Finn

..Cool.

Jake

Why don't you clean up the kitchen now?

Finn

Okay. I'm sorry I did that.

Jake

It's alright. It's only, like, the fifth room you've train-wrecked this month.

[in a private room] This is not going well.

Finn

I'm sorry, Slime Princess. I'm just going to mess this next trial up.

Is it because you haven't done much kissing? You don't have to be embarrassed by your innocence.

Finn

Pretending to be love is making me sad. It makes me think about Flame Princess.

What if I pretend to be your ex?

Finn

That's worse, I think.

Well, it looks like I'm losing my kingdom to the forces of evil.

Finn

[sighs] No, Slime Princess. Let's practice this smooch.

Finn

I'm sorry... I-I can't! [puts Slime Princess down, grumbles] Bunk this! [runs off]

Wait! Where are you going?

Finn

I'm going to punch Guillermo in his stupid face 'til he agrees to leave the kingdom!

I want to come!

Finn

[taking a walk] What is the meaning of soup?

Jake

What? I don't know. What's with all the weird quest—?

Finn

What is the meaning of spoon?

Jake

Shoot, man. Are you still lady-sad about Flame Princess? Y'know, it's okay if you are.

Finn

Nah, that's all fine. I've just been feeling kinda... gray is all. Like my inside voice has been kinda quiet lately—not a lot of instructions forthcoming, you know?

Jake

Yeah, well, sounds like you're sad. Listen, Finn. Girls is like horses—when you fall down, it's important that you get right back on again, on a different horse. And there's a lot of fish in the sea, a lot of fish. A penny saved is a penny earned.

Finn

Yeah, I-I guess. Or maybe dating girls is like riding a bicycle...

Jake

Yeah, man, yeah!

Finn

Where, like, if you mess up, you can get really hurt forever or hurt someone you really care about.

Jake

Uh... well, I suppose.