[Finn takes off his pack and dumps its contents on the ground. Jake takes a cookie out of the pile, Marceline holds an empty brown paper bag]
Hey, where are my red erasers? They were in here.
Uh-oh... I thought they were candy.
You...ate all...MY RED?!!
FinnCalm down, Marceline. There's gotta be some red stuff in these ruins. I'll go explore. You guys hang out here and save your energy. [walks off]
Thanks, Finn. [Finn walks into a cave, points to Jake]
Finn
Be cool. [Jake eats his cookie, turns to Marceline]
So... how hungry are you? [Marceline hisses at him, he cowers] Aah! I'm sorry! Please don't eat my blood!
Finn
Hey, Simon, how would you like to stay in the coolest hotel?
Lumpy Space Princess stays there! That's how cool it is!
Finn
We'll even put you up for a few weeks until your place is ready.
Ah, but that sounds lonely. I'd just like to stay here with you guys. Having roommates is nice. Keeps me out of my head. Gunther only says "Wenk". What's up with that?
Finn
[chuckles nervously] Yeah. [Jake drags him away to the kitchen]
Finn, I'm ready to murder the Ice King.
Finn
No... uh, I have another idea.
[FInn and Jake jumps downstairs to see a black-skinned demon holding Ice King and Abracadaniel by their necks]
KOKee Oth
Joshua! [Finn and Jake walk to Kee Oth saying "Kee Oth Rama Pan..."] Don't say another word, Joshua, or their throats are going to get it! If you speak the words to banish me, I'll reduce your friends to ash.
[pause] Kee Oth Rama P— [Finn covers his mouth]
Finn
Dude!!
KOKee Oth
I'm not bluffing, Joshua! If you do not willingly return my stolen blood, I will destroy him and him! [Finn and Jake run towards the demon-blood sword's holder]
Finn
Ah! The sword!
Scary! [Finn takes the sword]
Finn
I just can't do it, Jake. This is Dad's sword!
You don't have any other choice! Do it!
KOKee Oth
Do it!! [Finn's eyes water; breaks the sword in half using his knee. Blood-red mist rises from the pieces]
Finn
Whoa, bro.
[Finn and Jake then wave the blood-red mist to Kee Oth. He drops Ice King and Abracadaniel. He becomes red and much bigger]
Finn
You got your blood. Now get outta here!
KOKee Oth
All right, I'll go. Psych! Got you now, Joshua!
[Kee Oth catches Jake in his right hand. He starts cackling and vanishes with Jake being engulfed in fire. Finn drops down on his knees while Abracadaniel and Ice King scratch their heads]
AAbracadaniel
Uh, hey... so, uh, I should be getting home.
Uh, yeah, me, too. Hey, Abracadaniel, you wanna hang out at my place?
AAbracadaniel
I thought your house broke.
Psh! Ice Kingdom's been rebuilt for weeks. [they both leave; Finn is shellshocked with his broken sword in his hands]
Finn
Jake...?
Finn
Thanks for bringing us along on the trip, Peebs.
Yeah. It's unfortunate we can't enjoy some of these cool things we're passing by, but I guess we could do that the next time we're in the Desert of Wonders, whenever that is!
We're on a mission to collect samples only. I want to start colonizing this area by the end of the year.
Those goo monsters will barf their way through the hull in mere minutes. Finn, what should we do?
Finn
Uh... let's radio for help.
Good idea, but looks like the radio's kaplowed.
JJames
[whirs] I can fix that radio. Mrow-row-row! Pling! [pulls out a coin] With this! It's a lucky coin! Bam! [places coin on radio] When I bust out my coin, great stuff happens, like when I was chosen to go on this mission with you guys! Hee-hee-hee-hee! [Jake grumbles uncomfortably, enlarges his head and shouts]
JAMES, THAT'S NOT HELPING!!!
Finn
Don't panic, baby.
Yes. James is very resourceful. He'll work it out.
[James keeps making mechanical noises fiddling the radio with his coin; he turns a screw with the coin]
JJames
Look, Princess! I invented a coin-operated coin screwdrive-e-er!
See what I mean? [gives thumbs up] Good job, James. Come on, guys. Let's take inventory of the emergency gear. [James opens radio]
JJames
Lucky coin strikes again!
Finn
[meets Jake in the back room with Bubblegum] You want to do this trust-huddle style, buddy?
Mm. [the three form a huddle]
So, what's all the hubbub?
What's up with that James dude?
Finn
Yeah. Do you think James could be breaking things on purpose?
No. James wouldn't do that.
Wake up! Dude's a saboteur.
JJames
[in the huddle] What's not James? [beat] I got lonely up front. I wanted to see what y'all are up to.
Finn
Hey, that gives me an idea.
JJames
Me too! Vrrt! [laughs] Just kidding! I don't have any ideas.
[Gunter guides Marceline, Finn and Jake to Simon in his ice laboratory]
Marceline! [she flies down to him and embrace each other]
I thought I'd never see you again.
I can hardly believe it myself. You're all grown up.
Believe? She's like a million years old.
One million years?! How can it be?!
He's just kidding. I'm only a thousand.
Finn
Do you remember anything when you were the Ice King?
Nothing specific, just dream-like impressions.
Finn
Do you still have impressions from all the times you flip your bricks?
Finn
What's the thing you wanted to tell me?
Oh, uh... You must go to the citadel. That's where your father is.
Finn
Joshua's not alive. Me and Jake buried him behind the--
Not Joshua! Your other dad. Dad the Human.
Finn
What?
Your father, Finn. He's alive! He's alive. (He's alive... He's alive...)
Finn
Dude... I found out my human dad is still alive.
Finn
He's at someplace called the Citadel.
Waoh! Are.. are you gonna go see him?
Finn
I dunno. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe's there a good reason he didn't raise me. Like, he was probably captured by thieves and kept a slave for years.
Yeah—or maybe he was ambushed in the wild and hid you, so you wouldn't be captured too.
Finn
Yeah.. maybe it's better not to rock the boat.
But... it might also be good to find out if got any genetic wrist factors or allergies or whatever. Plus, you get to see what you look like as an old guy. Could be cool.
Finn
Heh... I guess it would be okay to meet him. Just to know what I look like.
MMan
Hey, good job, son! Rub some of that sap on my leg there. Make sure to get it into the chicken wing hole.
Finn
[shudders] Dad...
Finn
Okay, M-Martin. We need to talk.
MMartin
Yeah, okay, kid, but hurry it up. I'm trying to act cool here, but this thing really stings!
[beat, Finn inhales and talks speedily]
Finn
Why'd you abandon me in the forest when I was a little baby!?!
MMartin
Oh... I mean... Heh... You know me. I'm a funny guy!
Finn
Wh— wha?
MMartin
[facepalms] Augh... I don't know. It was a long time ago. Who knows... [points at Finn] maybe you left me!
[Finn makes an unhappy expression with Jake leaning on his shoulder, staring angrily at Martin. He sighs]
MMartin
But, hey! Daddy's back! [grunts, scoots closer to Finn] You and me—Daddy and Baby. Or should I say... Baby and Daddy. [taps his cheek] Now slap that sap!
Finn
Uggh... [takes some of the sap and spreads it on his leg bone] Yeech.
[the sap on Martin's leg bone regenerates new veins, muscle and skin immediately]
MMartin
Whoa! Would you look at that? Smooth like new. [looks at his boot] Tch... couldn't fix the boot too, huh?
Fall. [Finn and Jake close their eyes and fall] Ha ha hahahahahaha.... You are alone, child. There is only darkness for you, and only death for your people. [Points his finger at the asteroid with the escaping prisoners] These ancients are just the beginning. I will command a great and terrible army... [Finn stands up and summons the Grass Sword, but he's too weakened, and collapses on a puddle of Guardian blood] and we will sail to a billion worlds. We will sail until every light has been extinguished. You are strong, child. But I am beyond strength. I am the end. [Finn opens his eyes, and as the Lich's hand moves towards him, he closes his left hand, covered in the shiny blood] And I have come for you, Finn. [Finn slaps him with the blood on his hand. The Lich starts to grow veins and muscle. This causes the blackness to go away. The Lich starts to spazz and make bizarre noises as he is tainted by what he is the opposite of: Life. Everyone who was under his spell aren't anymore]
Finn
[sits up] What? You don't like this stuff, huh? [reaches for more guardian blood] Whoa! [The Lich's transformation goes faster and Jake wakes up. Jake witnesses Lich transform and is disturbed, closing his eyes. Lich falls over, now made of flesh] Right in the doorbell.
[walks Finn to the couch] You just went through some outrageous beeswax from losing your favorite arm and et cetera. You can't just expect to bounce right back to normal.
Finn
I can't?
Nah, man. Listen. [grabs two fake arms] All these princesses donating all these gross fake arms—they mean well, [throws both fake arms in the air] but they're throwing you off your game! You got to go at your own pace. If you listen [opens fold of skin in his forehead] deep in your melon heart... [a heart shape starts beating] That's where the real instructions are. [Finn starts thinking for a beat]
Finn
..My melon wants to punch my dad in the face and steal his arm.
[chuckles] Well, those things are bad, [grabs tote bag from table] so they can't be the real instructions, but you keep listening. Me? I'm going to go to the spaghetti store and buy a new mop head. I'll be back soon. Just remember—listen to your melon heart.
Hey, man, you're back! How do you feel?
Finn
Eh, neutral, I guess. I don't want to punch my dad anymore.
That's great, dude! You can always trust the ol' melon heart to get you through! Looks like we won't be needing this thing anymore. Wanna do the honors?
[beat]
Finn
I would.
(Finn removes the wood plank holding the tower, but when it topples, its massive height causes it to crash through the Candy Kingdom and beyond. Finn and Jake stare in guilt.)
[Finn sings as he walks through the forest with his legs dragging his slumping body forward]
Finn
I'm lost in the darkness, what will this bring?
Autumn descends on me, autumn
[a flying bee lands on a tree branch, sees the flower at the end of Finn's arm and sings along]
BBee
What do I see? Oh, so beautiful
My heart it beats, oh, so magical...
[an irritated Finn takes a walk with Breezy away from the fact Frozen Yogurt Princess bearing resemblance to Flame Princess]
Finn
She doesn't look anything like Flame Princess, does she? [kicks a rock]
BBreezy
I don't know who that is.
Finn
Exactly. [lies down on a log] I'm just trying to have fun. You know, doctor's orders. But I still ain't feelin' nothing. [sighs] Maybe I should just let this poor flower die.
BBreezy
Nooooo...! [lands on his shoulder] Listen, buddy, being a free spirit is fun and all, but you got a responsibility to that flower, just like I got a responsibility. Get this—I'm actually a virgin queen bee. I was born to lead a hive, destined for a life of obligation and ritual.
Finn
Whoa... bummer.
BBreezy
Yes. Once I drink of the royal jelly, my carefree days are done.
Finn
Dang! That sounds like raw deez. Breezy, you got to stay free... [gets up and jumps up] free to make out with whatevs.
BBreezy
Hah, yeah, maybe you're right. You know, it's too bad we're such great buddies or we could make out with each other. [chuckles]
Finn
What?
BBreezy
Uh, nothing. Come on, pal! Let's run and be free!
FBFinn & Bubblegum
How natural, no waste, it is an endless chain
What an amazing, wonderful and excellent
How harsh, not careless, it's an endless chain
What an amazing, wonderful and excellent food...
Food chaaain!
Adventure Time · 447 quotes
