LSP quotes from Adventure Time

Are y'all hunting wabbits?

Daughter! Have you brought smooth people into our domain?!

I had to, Dad. I'm trying to help them! SO DON'T LUMPING YELL AT ME!!

WHAT DID YOU SAY?! What did you just say?!!

I SAID LUMP OFF, MOM!! GJABLAHGARIHAGLRRR!!!

Finn

Uhh...

WHAT??

Finn

Vroom-vroom?

Oh, yeah. I need to borrow the car.

You had made your mother cry for the last time, Daughter! You are hereby banned from using the royal car! [slam!]

Shucks! I lumping hate them!

Oh my Glob! What the stuff are you doing?! Why're you cutting my lumps?!

Finn

Because they're, uh.. so...

(gasp!) I knew you liked me!

Finn

No, I don't! I- I'm just stopping by because—

Just admit it, loverboy! You can't resist me! But if you want these lumps, you gotta put a ring on it!! WHERE'S MY RING?!?

Finn

[runs away] WAHH!!!

I know you like me, Finn! That's why you're running! Get in touch with your feelings, BABE!!

Bubblegum

Just let Science to the work! Science is... MOOORRRAAAHHHH...!!!

Finn

NAAAAAOOH!!!

GET THAT ZOMBIE OUTTA HERE! RAHH!!

Finn

RAAGH!!

Aw naw. I am not getting eaten by zombies tonight. [...] GET THE LUMP.. OUTTA.. HERE!!

"Hey, girl! "

Oh, Turtle Princess! This book is coming out awesome!!

"Oh good, girl! I can't wait to read it! "

Thanks, girl.

"Goodnight, girl."

Goodnight, girl.

This is way too boring for my book! Oh, my shoulder strap! Ohh! My orange juice is comin' out! Hah! Gotchuh? [kerPLOOP!!]

Finn

Hehah! Jake! Kerploop!

Jake

Hehehee! Kerploop!

Not "gotcha"?

Take me back to when my ex-boyfriend Brad loved me!! [gets in time bubble]

Bubblegum

LSP.

Wha?

Bubblegum

LSP, that's not how it works. It can only rearrange your molecules into a previously logged formation, and you need these gloves.

[hushed] ..Give them to me.

Bubblegum

No.

You witch! Give them to me now!! [pounds table]

Bubblegum

No, I'm sorry, but you need to pull yourself toge— [LSP jumps on her to the floor]

You skunk! [starts ripping off PB's hair] You skunk, you skunk!! You pretty skunk!! You don't know heartache, with the whole Candy Kingdom in love with your pretty Bubblegum buns!! [Bubblegum hits LSP with her tiara, knocks into a bookshelf] Glob! [pants as peeved Bubblegum stands up with Jake watching]

Bubblegum

Hear me, Lumpy Space Princess. I will avoid declaring war on the entirety of Lumpy Space, ruled by your parents, if you apologize to me immediately! [LSP gets up]

I'm sorry-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y... [floats toward the door] I'm sorry you're so [quietly] stupid. [slams door]

Whoa!! [both laughing]

Bubblegum

Sheesh!

It's me, Ice King.

Ice King

Lumpy Space Princess?

Yeah.

Ice King

And you're doing this because you like me?

No, Ice King, listen—I'monna give you the straight dope.

Ice King

Okay.

You're weird and old and you kidnap princesses.

Ice King

I know!

But I asked here tonight because I want to know what you think of this. [presents a book]

Ice King

"The Prince Who Wanted Everything. A Fionna and Cake Adventure"? Hey, why isn't my name on there?

I want you to read it, because you're their dad. Please be their dad right now and bring them to life!

Ice King

[sigh] Okay, might as well. Least until the cops show up.

[fights a raccoon in bathroom] Take this, you dandruff! [squirts shampoo at raccoon, dunks into toilet] Ha hah!!

[deep voice] LSP.

Huh?

You don't belong here in the world of decent people. You belong in the woods with... [emerges up the toilet] garbage animals!!

NAAAAAOOOOOHHH!!!!

Marceline, listen to me. You will never defeat the Vampire King. You can't even defeat me in your current state. [Marceline sits down in Jake-House]

Marceline

All right, what do you want?

The truth is, I hate the King as much as you do. He's a total dink. I came looking for you because I want to team up. Then you started tempting me with boy blood [LSP flirts at him saying "Hey!"] and hurling spiky purple gobs at me. Here's the dope. You need me. [Marceline moves LSP back]

Yeah, okay, girl, you got this.

I don't know how it finally happened, but... he must have let you beat him.

Am I right?

Marceline

[beat, facepalms] Ugh!! All right. Say we do work together, you need to give up drinking blood. [turns invisible]

I'm a vampire! Drinking blood is kind of the main thing.

Marceline

And you can drink red just as easy. [he grunts] No hurting poor, scared blood-filled animals.

[beat] Well, then I suppose I have no choice. I'm just going to waste you [grabs Marceline by the neck] and eat that kid because that's what an old-school vampire does! [behind the rustling bush comes out a crying Crunchy]

I don't wanna play anymore! [bumps Hierophant into Jake-House]

[gasps] No! I-I wasn't invited! [disintegrates] NOOOOO...!!

Finn

Geez. What happened?

Marceline

Dude was too old-fashioned for his own good. He just couldn't get with the times.

Bubblegum

Cut it out! That's not helping her!

Finn

But Mom and Dad always burped on us.

Jake

It's a cure-all!

Bubblegum

Sorry, guys, there are no cure-alls. Your parents were just burping on you for kicks.

Jake

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. [burps] Oh, sorry, last one.

Bubblegum

Auh! What did you eat, Jake?!

Jake

Hey, now! I pride myself in having nice-smelling burps. Just kidding.

Bubblegum

Pride, hmm. Do you guys know what "hubris" is?

Finn

It's like an old-timey deity who weighed your deeds on a scale.

Bubblegum

No, it means excessive pride or arrogance.

That's like you, PB.

Finn

Dude!

Bubblegum

No, it's true. I believed in myself so much that I was blind to the possible consequences.

Don't believe in yourself so much then, dum-dum!

Bubblegum

[crying] Now my best friend is dying of poison because of me.

Jake

That ain't true, PB! Marcy took a risk, and you helped her because you're her friend. Real friends take each other to the edge of death. 'Cause death is life! Right, Finn?

Finn

Shoot, yeah! I get poisoned all the time just doing the dishes.

Peppermint Butler

I get poisoned on purpose—for research. I have a poison lab back at the castle.

Bubblegum

Well, let's get our butts over there, then! Find the Moon, Finn. We'll work on an antidote. You guys take her back to the poison lab. Maybe we can extract her healing powers.

Finn

Word. [everyone runs off except LSP]

Hey, wait! What should I do? You guys? [pushes a stake out of her] Brrrrr... Hahahahaha!

Excuse me!! Are you not aware that we are all working our steamy butts off down there so we don't get wiped out by this crazy sky nightmare?!

Jake

Whoa, whoa! Hold up! I'm working on something up here. It's—

I SEE NOTHING!! YOU'RE WORKING ON NOTHING!!

Jake

Look, LSP, can we just take a moment to appreciate this... moment? Look at this crazy sweet sunset. [sees a cloud swirling in the sunset] When's the next time you're gonna see a sunset like this? Or any sunset, really? [wipes a tear leak off his eyes] Who knows how long we'll be down there? [an eagle lands on Jake's hand along with some critters and birds before LSP gets impatient and loses it]

BWAAAHHHH!!! I obviously love sunsets and cute animals, but we don't have time for this right now!!

Jake

But I—

You know what? [inhales sharply] I just can't with you right now. [turns back away from Jake]

Jake

Can't what? [the eagle lands back on his head, screeches]

Jake

Guys, I think this storm is more than just some scary clouds and weather junk. We've been treating each other like ding-dongs since we've been down here.

Duh! This bunker is the worst!

Jake

Nah, nah. I think this storm's carrying some major negative energy or something.

Finn

Bad jubies.

Jake

It's making us all go nanners! I think I can help, though. Let me show you what I've been working on.

That is so beautiful!