Chase Matthews quotes from Zoey 101

Lola

(to Michael) What happened to your foot?

Michael

Oh, it's a sports related injury.

Chase

He tripped over a basketball on his way to pee.

Michael

Why do you tell people?! Why don't you just put it on the news! Hey! Where's Jeremiah Trottman? Chase has a breaking story!

Zoey

Can I say something?

Chase

Sure.

Zoey

(stands up and shouts out) I hate chemistry! Hate it! I just wanna make that clear.

Chase

Have a French fry, it'll calm you right down.

Zoey

No thanks, I'm already full. And what happened to all your talking about eating healthier food?

Chase

What? The French fry, made by the potato, a vegetable! Dipped in ketchup, made from the tomato - also a vegetable! (Stifles laugh when Zoey is eating a French fry)

Zoey

What?

Chase

You chew funny.

Zoey

(Drops the fry on Chase's tray) Goodbye. (Walks Away)

Chase

I mean good funny!

Chase

She's not dating Logan, okay? I've known her since the first day she came here to PCA and I know she'd never date a jerk like Logan!

Lola

He's one of your best friends!!

Chase

Which is how I know he's a jerk!

Quinn

I thought Chase was over Zoey!

Lola

So did I.

Chase

What do you mean? There was no two year crush on Zoey! Right, Michael?

Michael

(sarcastic) Yes, there was no crush, you silly people.

Lola

(to Chase about Zoey and Logan) Why do you care so much about this?

Chase

Because I'm a caring person, see?!?! (makes caring face)

(talking to Chase) Is your hair natural?

Chase

(touches hair) Uh... yeah.

I don't believe it.

Logan

Listen, I told Chase about me and you.

Zoey

What? I thought we decided we should keep it a secret.

Logan

I know, but he's my friend. You mad?

Zoey

No. I hate that I have to keep lying to Lola and Quinn.

Logan

Yeah, we shouldn't have to keep secrets from our friends.

Zoey

I know, it's just Chemistry.

Logan

Yeah, chemistry, which we have together.

Chase

(comes out of bush) Alright! I've heard enough!

Zoey

Chase!

Logan

Chase! What were you doing in that bush?!

Chase

Hearing everything!

Zoey

Look, I wanted to tell you, but I was embarrassed!

Chase

You should be embarrassed! I mean, LOGAN!

Zoey

Yeah, but he's taught me so much.

Chase

Oh, God!

Zoey

It's true. I mean, he really knows the stuff.

Chase

(stomps off) Oh! Oh! Ugh! Oh, God!

[as he hands students back their history tests] I'd like to congratulate you all on your tests, which I know weren't easy. Most of you did quite well.

Chase

[to Vince] Vince, listen. I want you to know I'm not gonna turn you in for cheating.

Vince

Cool.

Chase

If... You swear not to do it anymore.

Vince

I hear ya.

Chase

Good. So, no more cheating.

Vince

No, I'm just letting you know I hear ya. I'm still gonna cheat.

Logan

[whispering to Chase] Dude! Don't irritate Vince!

[as he gives Vince back his test] And it looks like we have a new MVP of this class. Vince Blake gets 100! [everyone cheers]

Stacey

Vince can do anything!

Nice work, Vince.

Vince

Hey, when Vince Blake does something, he always...

Chase

Vince cheated. [the whole class stares]

What did you say?

Chase

Vince stole the answers to the test. I saw him do it.

Vince

[laughs] That's a lie.

Chase, that's a very serious charge.

Chase

I know.

Well, unless you have some proof, I suggest...

Chase

He snuck in here at night and took pictures of the test with his cellphone. And I bet he wasn't smart enough to delete 'em. [Vince gives him a look]

Vince, may I see your cellphone?

Chase

You wanna beat me up? Then do it. It's not gonna change things.

It'll change your face!

Chase

Touché.

Chase

They hit....

and punched....

Logan

and kicked....

Chase

It was a medley of pain.

Logan

Chase, if you want to be a member, you have to pay attention.

Chase

I don't want to be a member.

Logan

Then why are you here.

Chase

I... Live here...

Quinn

If you need to speed up, just hit the red button.

Chase

But I'm scared of the red button.

Quinn

Stop being a baby. (starts up the go-kart)

Chase

Hey, could you guys quiet it down a little bit?

Michael

I'm trying! This thing won't... it won't stop!

Chase

Okay, that's it! You people .are too loud! [he takes his computer and starts to leave]

Lola

Oh, wait! Happy birthday!

Chase

BLAH! [he walks out]

Quinn

He doesn't seem too happy for a birthday boy.

Logan

Hello...

Michael

Hello...

Chase

Hello...

HIIIIIII!

Logan

STOP IT! Stop it right now! [everyone else turns to him] I can't take being locked in a room with a bunch of insane freaks! [they look at him, dumbfounded] Yeah, I called you freaks!

Lola

WE'RE freaks?! You're the one who's sitting there, [her voice gets quieter] staring at yourself in the mirror! [Logan looks at her] You're the one who's sitting there- [she puts her hand near her throat] ...My voice! I lost my voice! [everyone cheers except her]

Chase

All RIGHT!

Logan

YES, about time!

Lola

You're all so mean! [cries]