Ted quotes from You Can't Do That on Television

Aren't you supposed to take a little more trouble with your costumes?

No way!

Lady, dressing up is for little kids. Now listen, we've got a lot of houses to cover, we gotta fill these things up, so why don't you just give us the candy.

Oh, well, at least give me a choice of trick or treat.

That's funny. Don't treat us like kids. Give me the candy and give him the candy.

No! Say "Trick or Treat"!

Fine! TRICK OR TREAT!

Now give us the candy.

No! You gave me the choice, and I choose TRICK! HA HA HA HAAA!!! Alakazoom, alakaZAM!!!

Chris? [picking up the frog, wearing a tiny leather jacket] Chris??? [flees in terror]

AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!! AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

Chris, you were our first child!

[Bumps heads with Valerie] OW!

And Stephanie, you were our second child. And Ted...

Third time lucky, Mom?

No, actually, Ted, you were another first.

All right!

...Our first big mistake.

Ted, get OUT of here! It's my turn in the bathroom, Ted! [hits him over the head with her mirror, which breaks] BOY, you're annoying!

Ha, look, Stephanie, you broke your mirror! That's seven years bad luck!

No, no, no, no! You think you get seven years bad luck, but this week only, during our generous summer sale, you get NOT seven, NOT fourteen, but TWENTY-ONE years bad luck!!

YES!!!