Oh, look! My ride's here, and it's a huff! I believe I'll leave in it!
S4 E19Went to a Garden Potty
ZZandra
This better be good. You're taking time away from my slow, agonizing march toward death.
S4 E20He Shoots, They Snore
Okay, here's the scoop, Jackson. Elliot's got a basketball tournament in Connecticut this weekend. All the dads are going, but my boss Dorleen the Whore-leen is making me do inventory. So, will you take him? Please? I'll be up on Saturday. Please just say yes. I promise I won't ask for anything else again!
Okay.
Damn you, Will! Damn your shiny, pointy face and your sarcastic quips!
Hey, lord of the ring-dings, I said I'd do it.
Oh. Sorry. I wasn't listening.
Hi, what's going on? What's happening? What's the emergency?
I think I'm in trouble.
Well, you came to the right place. Here's what we're gonna do: We're gonna change your name, get you a new face and ship you out of the country. Here's your passport.
[reading passport] "Rosario Salazar." This is your maid's.
She don't need it. She ain't going anywhere.
S4 E21Wedding Balls
[Karen is showing Jack a card trick.]
Is this your card? [Holds up a card]
No.
Is this your card? [Holds up another card]
No.
Is this your card? [Holds up another card]
No.
Is this your card? [Holds up another card]
No.
Is this your card? [Holds up another card]
I can't remember.
Ta-da!
That is so freaky, Karen. How did you do that?
Oh, sorry, honey. A magician, like a prostitute, never reveals her tricks.
RRita
Maybe you could be a little more specific in your analysis.
Oh, don't try to confuse us by speaking French.
S4 E22Fagel Attraction
GGavin
You got a set of eyes like two inviting pools of chocolate pudding.
Hey, that guy looks suspicious. He's in a gay bar eating a hot dog without any irony.
S4 E23Hocus Focus
Honey, you say potato, I say vodka.
You don't get to have ideas. This show is called "That Old Jack Magic," not "That Old Assistant's Magic."
Oh! Old? Well, how do you know that? There are parts of me that were just a twinkle in a scientist's eye three weeks ago. Besides, I was just trying to help.
You wanna help? Then remember your place. You're the assistant... and let's not forget where that word comes from -- Latin, meaning "ass of an ant." So keep your ideas to yourself and assist. It shouldn't be that hard. It's what you do. Get it? [ leaves the room]
I'm gonna be so mad when my mood elevators wear off.
S4 E24A Buncha White Chicks Sittin' Around Talkin'
You know what else is incredibly sad? Poor people with big dreams. Actually, that's not so much sad as it is incredibly funny.
I wanna travel the world. Anywhere. Everywhere. You know, as long as it's clean and they speak English and it's safe.
You've just narrowed your world travel plans down to Denver.
S4 E25A.I.: Artificial Insemination
Please tell me that you didn't drink your lunch yet.
Honey, I just got done drinking breakfast. You gotta give the liver a little time to digest!
CCher
You know, don't talk to me about rejection, okay? I mean, look how many times I've gone down in flames. Remember, I lost the Oscar for Moonstruck.
But you won the Oscar for Moonstruck!
CCher
And don't you forget it.
What's up with the wine?
Mrs. Friedman from downstairs gave it to me. It's actually a wonderful story. She and her husband were saving it for a special occasion, but then he, uh, died before they had a chance to open it, so she gave it to me and said, "Make your own special occasion." [pause] I guess that story's not so much wonderful as it is incredibly sad.
You know what else is incredibly sad? Poor people with big dreams. Actually, that's not so much sad as it is incredibly funny.
You know, we should do this. We should save that wine for a special occasion. You know, something where-- where the four of us have all done something that we're incredibly proud of. You know, we can wait 20 years if we have to... Ah, screw it, open it. I wanna have a buzz for the movies.
One step ahead of you. I never gave a crap about Mr. Friedman.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Will & Grace pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.