“Someone Old, Someplace New” quotes from Will & Grace

Jack

I met Karen's mother. She's not dead. She's a cocktail waitress. It turns out Karen's father died when she was seven. Oh, my God. Can you imagine what Karen looked like when she was seven years old? Cute little pumps, cute little martini, cute little pills. Ah-ha-ha. Anyway, from then on they moved around a lot until Lois met a man, a ne'er-do-well named Bernie. Or was it Todd? I don't know. I can't remember, 'cause at that point I zoned out 'cause some real hot fireman came into the bar. Oh, his name was Todd. That's right. Hot Toddy. Hot Toddy. Hot Toddy. Anyway, what did I do with his number? Actually, when Karen was 16, her and her mother had some big falling-out, and Lois wouldn't tell me what it was; but I have a feeling Karen killed a man with her bare breasts. All this is in my movie. I smell sequel.

Grace

Wow. Karen has a mother?

Will

So, Karen, on this, the centennial of your birth, Jack wants me to wish you a happy birthday. I hope all your wishes come true. And when you do become Satan's mistress, don't you forget the little people.

Jack

Uh, excuse me. As Aretha said to Gloria, Celine, Shania, and Mariah during Divas Live..."Are you trippin'? No one interrupts the Queen of Soul, bitch. Okay?"

Well, I believe she also said, "Hey, Cuba, Canada, cowgirl, Crazy, get out of my light and away from my snacks, bitch."