Karen Walker quotes from Will & Grace

Karen

We've narrowed down the identity of Jack's father. It's either one of the 11 Black brothers of New Haven, Connecticut, or Paul Lynde, the center square.

Karen

I've got drinks piling up on my desk and a stack of pills I haven't even opened yet!

Karen

Actually honey I'm feeling much better. Yah, I just talked to Stan, he had a good day in prison today. He and a convicted junk bond trader smuggled a glazed ham out of the kitchen. So honey, if you want to leave, I know you have things to do. I mean - there's fashion mistakes to be made and it's probably happy hour at some gay bar.

Karen

So, how'd you hurt your back? Running away from good taste?

Karen

Oh, honey. You have a dream. You know, I had a dream too. To be rich and beautiful and have a great body. Oh, look, my dream came true!

Karen

Grace! It's Christmas, for goodness sake! Think about the baby Jesus, up in that tower, letting his hair down so that the three wise men can climb up and spin the dreidl and see if there's six more weeks of winter.

Karen

Honey, you say potato, I say vodka.

Karen

You know what else is incredibly sad? Poor people with big dreams. Actually, that's not so much sad as it is incredibly funny.

Karen

Earlier tonight, Lionel Banks invited me to his hotel room. Well, at first I didn't wanna go because, well, I'm a lady and I do have moral standards to uphold... [Karen, Jack, Will, and Grace laugh hysterically] I know, that was just for us. Anyway, so I go to his room, we start talking, have a couple of minibars, and, uh, next thing I knew, he's touching me. I couldn't stop him, I didn't want to. After years of being with Stan I felt like, finally! A man who knows how to make a woman feel like a girl, and how to make that girl feel like a slut, and how to make that slut feel like a woman!

Karen

[laughs] Kids are dumb.

Karen

Stanley, that had better be me you're having sex with!

Karen

Oh. Hi, honey. Listen, you gotta talk to that shower head. He got a little fresh. I had to put him in his place. Well... [whispers] my place.

Karen

Which lever do I pull to be crushed by a safe?

Karen

Hello, maintenance? This is Mrs. Walker in 1526. I'd like to put my drink on the mantle; could you send someone up to move the fireplace?

Karen

What's better than a nice, hot cup of cocoa after riding your maid in the snow?