Chief quotes from Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?

Chief

And this is Vic the Slick, Carmen Sandiego's breezy markie of sleaze.

(singing) Vic the Slick

Chief

His last known whereabouts: Cambodia. Deep in the Cambodian jungle lie the breathtaking ruins of Angkor Wat. This vast temple complex was begun in the 9th century AD and finished in the 13th. At first, it was a shrine to Hindu gods Vishnu, Krishna, and Rama. When the Cambodian royalty converted from Hinduism to Buddhism, Buddha became a new star in the statuary. Abandoned for centuries, Angkor Wat was rediscovered in the 1860s and it's now being restored. Or it was until today when Vic the Slick stole the temples of Angkor Wat and spirited them off. Gumshoes, you've got to capture Carmen and vanquish Vic because...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

...ANGKOR'S AWAY!

Chief

And this is Sarah Nade, Carmen Sandiego's raucous rock and roll robber.

(singing) Sarah Nade

Chief

Her last known whereabouts: North Carolina. People don't holler much anymore, but in the era before telephones, farmers communicated with their distant neighbors by hollering like this: (hollering) There were trouble hollers, greeting hollers, good time hollers, oh, you name it. Now, every year the small North Carolina town of Spivey's Corner hosts the National Hollerin' Contest. People from all over compete in this almost lost art. Or they did until today when Sarah Nade skated into Spivey's Corner, dug the den, then heisted every holler. Gumshoes, you've got a job to do. Subdue Sarah Nade and HAUL THE HOLLERIN' HOME!

Chief

And this is Wonder Rat, Carmen's rabble-rousing rodent.

(singing) Wonder Rat

Chief

His last known whereabouts: La Cuidad de Mèxico. On a quiet corner in the Coyoacan section of Mexico City stands a bright blue house, the home were Frida Kahlo was born. Some critics call her one of this century's greatest painters. The house is now the Frida Kahlo museum where you'll find the largest collection of her work, mostly stunning self-portraits that reflect her troubles and her intense pride and nationality and family. But today, Wonder Rat crept into Coyoacan and hatched an evil plan. With the help of a cheesy beast of burden, he hitched up the museum and hauled it off. He plans to use it to showcase his own cheesy self-portrait. Gumshoes, here's today's case.

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

NOW MUSEUM, NOW YOU DON'T!

Chief

And this is Top Grunge, Carmen's bad biker burglar who grooms with chain grease.

(singing) Top Grunge

Chief

His last known whereabouts: Zaire, home of the Eastern Lowland gorilla. These gentle quiet animals have only one real enemy: people. In past years, people hunted them as trophies, and now people are cutting down the forest to make room for houses and farmland. The gorillas are being forced from their jungle home and right to the edge of extinction, and today their problems just got worse. Top Grunge, that slimy primate, zapped into Zaire, and glommed every gorilla. He wants a gang that's hairier than he is. Gumshoes, you got to stop him, corral Carmen and bring in that...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

...LOWLAND LOWLIFE!

Chief

And this is Eartha Brute, Carmen Sandiego's glowering tower of dollar power.

(singing) Eartha Brute, huh

Chief

Her last known whereabouts: Yosemite National Park. El Capitan, the world's largest bear granite cliff, rises 3,600 feet into the air. It was formed by glaciers that covered Yosemite two to three million years ago. In 1864, Abraham Lincoln made Yosemite the USA's first protected park. El Capitan has inspired many since then, including photographic genius Ansel Adams for whom it was a favorite subject. But there was yowling in Yosemite today when Eartha Brute, that big galoot, repelled down El Capitan, then lugged it away. You've got to bust that repellant repeller, gumshoes. It's up to you to solve...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

...YOSEMTIE CALAMITY!

Chief

And this is Patty Larceny, Carmen Sandiego's heinous, brainous teenage terror.

(singing) P-P-P-Patty

Chief

Her last known whereabouts: Washington, D.C. The Hope Diamond may be the world's most famous jewel. Named for the English family who owned it from 1830 until 1901, the flawless blue stone weighs 45.5 karats. Huh, that's big. Superstition says that anyone who touches the Hope Diamond will die, and to that I say, "Of course they will, because everybody dies eventually!" Well, anyway... in 1958, the Hope's last owner donated it to the Smithsonian, where it's been on display ever since. Until today, that is, when pernicious Patty, with teenage dreams of glamor in her brainy head, sidled into the Smithsonian, heisted the Hope, and sashayed away with it. Who says dreams can't come true? We do! Gumshoes, you've got to grab that girl and catch Carmen, and stop...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

...THE HOPE ELOPEMENT!

I used to be a sweet innocent schoolgirl. Now I'm a sweet guilty schoolgirl and it's all Carmen's fault! Go look for her in South America.

Chief

And this is Double Trouble, Carmen Sandigo's partying pair of pilfers.

(singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)

Chief

Their last known whereabouts: Bombay, India's moviemaking Mecca. Bombay cranks out six to eight hundred films a year, three times as many as Hollywood. That's why some call Bombay Bollywood. R.K. Movie Studio, one of Bombay's biggest, makes films called Masala movies. Fantasies that combine action, romance, comedy, and hit songs. Many people in India are too poor to own a TV, but most can scrape together eight rupees to see a film. Or they could until today when Double Trouble boogied into Bombay and stole the studio, the lights, the camera, the action, they're all gone. Gumshoes, you've got a job to do. Bust those twin twits and stop...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Boys, those ACME goons are on to us. Where've you been?

Well, now, chill out, Carmen. We took the studio starlets ice skating in West Africa.

Ice? In West Africa? Who do you think you're kidding?

Not you, boss lady. We're at the Hotel Ivoire in Abidjan. Home of West Africa's first ice rink.

Abidjan? That's just 5 degrees north of the Equator.

Yep. Ain't modern refrigeration amazing? Listen, Carmen. We'll shake ACME as soon as we practice our Triple Sow Cow.

Chief

Watch the altitude, Greg. The air gets thinner up high.

Don't worry, Chief, this is a pressurized basket.

Hello?

Greg?

Yeah?

This is your doctor.

Yeah.

I got your letter about your little problem.

Well, I don't think I want you to talk about that on national--

No, No, there's nothing to be ashamed of, Greg. Lots of people drool in their sleep.

Oh, yeah.

All I suggest is, uh, sleep in a raincoat or put a spittoon by your bed.

Well, I think that's kinda silly.

And hey, hey, you're in good company, Greg. Plenty of celebrities drool.

Like who?

Lassie, Mr. Ed, Scooby Doo.

Yeah.

Benji.

Benji? (hangs up the phone) I had no idea what he was talkin' about. All of that was completely made up. What we're waiting for now is a call from Carmen Sandiego. (the phone rings again) There. This must be her. Yes? Thank you for callin'. (hands Folake the phone) It's for you.

Hello? (Double Trouble tell Folake to go to North America)

Chief

And this is Eartha Brute, Carmen Sandiego's darling of devious deltoid devastation.

(singing) Eartha Brute, huh

Chief

Her last known whereabouts: Philadelphia, PA, home of the world-renowned cheesesteak. These tasty fast-ordered delicacies are made by filling a soft hoagie roll with fried strips of thinly sliced beefsteak and topping it with melted cheese. Oh. Oh, that looks good. Personally, I like mine with extra, extra, extra, extra onions. Now, sure you can get them in other towns but take it from me, cheesesteaks taste better when you eat them in Philly, period. Or they did until today when Eartha Brute bibbed up then bopped off with all the cheesesteak in town. Stop her before she eats the whole haul for breakfast, gumshoes, it's your job to solve...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

...THE CHEESE STEAK BRUTE QUAKE!

For our next clue, we turn to our agent from ACME kindly dear old granny net. Hit it, Nana Rap!

Thanks, sonny. Let's rock the house! (echoes 4 times and rock music plays)

Nana Rap, ladies and gentlemen! Let's hear it for her please.

Eartha, I'm sending you to Lilongwe, an African capital. But first, get some new clothes.

But, Carmen. I like what I'm wearing. It shows my muscles.

Well, this is a very modest country. Women can't wear shorts or pants. They're against the law.

Oh, sure. And the guys get to wear what they want?

Nope. Long hair that touches the collar is against the law. So are bell bottom trousers.

Gee. Then I guess I gotta go shopping. There just isn't much selection in the size 82 petite, you know.

Chief

Greg, do we really need all these wagons?

I had to make sure we brought enough snack food along, Chief. Want a pretzel?

Nobel Library. (Shoeprints are revealed)

Shh!

(each time the Cheesesteaks are revealed in the 2nd round)

Chief

And this is Sarah Nade, Carmen's pointy-haired princess of punk.

(singing) Sarah Nade

Chief

Her last known whereabouts: China. Mao Zedong wasn't wild about competition, so it wasn't until 1984 that Communist China sponsored an Olympic team. That year, they won 32 medals and they've been improving ever since. Many of China's medals were won by women who excelled in sports like volleyball and diving. Now more than one in five people on earth are Chinese, so there'd seem to be no limit to China's Olympic potential. Or at least, there wasn't until today when Sarah Nade rolled into China, pinned every last Chinese Olympic medal to her ears, and rollerbooted for the borderline. Gumshoes, you'd better catch Carmen and grab that HEAVY MEDAL MEDDLER!

Chief

And this is Vic the Slick, that clown who spells class with a capital K.

(singing) Vic the Slick

Chief

His last known whereabouts: Gdansk, Poland. In 1980, Lech Walęsa led workers at a Gdansk shipyard at a braid strike against Poland's Communist government. They called their union, "Solidarity." The government banned Solidarity but you know what happened. Communism fell in Poland and Lech Walęsa became president. The shipyard in Gdansk is still running, located on one of Poland's busiest ports. Or it was until today when Vic the Slick floated into Gdansk, wielded his welder and heavy-duty tin snips, and then shipped out with the shipyard. Gumshoes, the Polish people are depending on you. Get back the shipyard and close the book on today's caper...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

...THE SLICK SHIP RIPOFF!

Chief, I love these little cars! Where'd ya get 'em?

Chief

Oh, ACME Wet Muffler-Net sent them over.

(each time the Gdansk Shipyard is revealed)

Chief

And this is Kneemoi. There's a posse on every planet pursuing this perpetrator.

(singing) Kneemoi

Chief

Her last known whereabouts: Mombasa, Kenya's second largest city. The deep calm waters of Mombasa's harbor have attracted shipping for centuries, and shipping means big business. What do Mombasa's corporation count on for communications, calculations, and commerce? Computers, of course. But computers aren't much without their memories and that's what's missing in Mombasa. Today, Kneemoi mamboed into Mombasa, disguised herself as a computer virus, and infected every motherboard, every other board, every chip and disk. The memories gone from every computer in Mombasa. Gumshoes, you've got to become...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

...CHIP & DISK'S RESCUE RANGERS!

So we'll get started with our very first clue, which come to us from ACME Tonight-Net agent Jay Leno. Jay.

Hey, gumshoes. Kneemoi is on an island in the Indian Ocean, east of Madagascar. You know who used to live there? Uh, dodo birds. Big headed, waddling, flightless guys that kinda look like huge distorted pigeons. You won't get the scoop on Kneemoi from the dodos though. They've been extinct for about 320 years. So you're gonna have to snag her yourself.

Thanks, Jay.

Buckle up, Chief. This thing's pretty fast.

Chief

I can't buckle up, Greg. I'm digital.

Queen's College. (Shoeprints are revealed)

Nothing!

Thank you!

No problemo! (Greg laughs)

Federal Palace Hotel. (Shoeprints are revealed)

Nothing!

Thank you!

It's a livin'! (Greg laughs)

Chief

And this is Patty Larceny, Carmen Sandiego's sweet and sneaky schoolgirl.

(singing) P-P-P-Patty

Chief

Her last known whereabouts: Chicago, Illinois. You might think American theater starts and ends at Broadway, but there are professional theaters all over the country. Chicago's Goodman Theater is one of the best. That's why actors like Brian Dennehy and Kathleen Turner perform there alongside the Goodman's resident company. The Goodman has presented live drama, comedy, and musicals since 1925. Or it did until today when Patty Larceny showed up armed with an autographed book and a bouquet. She took center stage and rocked the place to tears, then she mopped it off and vanished into thin air. Gumshoes, you've got to close this case...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

...BADWOMAN STEALS GOODMAN!

EGGMAN!! YEAH!

(sleeps)

Come on, you guys! Come on! The Eggman!

(applauds)

Come on. Answer. ACME's closing in!

(on answering machine) Hi. This is Patty. I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message and if I can fit you into my busy schedule, I'll get back to you. (machine beeps)

Guess who, twinkletoes? If you don't scram, I'll be leaving messages with your warden. Take the theatre to a capital on the Danube River. The nightlife there has been buzzing since the fall of Communism. Restaurants, cafes, and theatres are all crowded with people. There's even a Pah shopping street nicknamed the Fifth Avenue of eastern Europe. And one more thing, I really hate answering machines. (machine beeps and Carmen hangs up the phone)

Chief

And the wheels on the bus go round and round. Round and round. Round and round. Around--

Chief. Chief. Chief, I've always hated that song.

(each time the Goodman Theatre is revealed)

Chief

And this is Kneemoi, Carmen Sandiego's spaced out space fund.

(singing) Kneemoi

Chief

Her last known whereabouts: Borneo, the world's third largest island. All societies have their own art forms and Borneo's Kayan, Kenyah, and Iban peoples are no exception. They practice the art of tattooing for generations. That's right, tattoos are not something your older sister thought up to scare your mom. They date back thousands of years to hundreds of different cultures. Not all of Borneo's people wear tattoos, but those who do take pride in their skin art. Or they did until today when Kneemoi skinned the tattoos away without a trace. She thinks they'd make great road maps on her home planet Roddenberry. Gumshoes, you've got to nail Kneemoi, catch Carmen, and stop...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

...the TATTOO SNAFU!

Kneemoi, take the tattoos to another rainforest in an African country on the equator. Many people there believe in magic.

Ah, yes. Even we aliens admired his basketball prowess.

Not Magic Johnson. Magic. You know, people turning into animals, that sort of thing. Lots of citizens follow a religion called Bwiti. It combines some Catholic rituals brought by French settlers with the magical belief of the original people.

Where should I hide out?

Go to Libreville on the Atlantic coast until the pressure's off.

Okay, boss. Remember, keep your sleeves bon shiny.

(as he, the Chief, and the gumshoes prepare for departure to the Mississippi River) Okay, guys, uh, remember, it's time for us now to go the Mississippi River. We're gonna try to find Kneemoi and the tattoos. You guys all ready to go?

Yeah.

Yep.

Chief

Uh, Greg? I got some information for us.

Yeah, Chief?

Chief

Time for us to get a move on!

Okay. We're goin' (shakes the screen as he holds it upside-down) Something is definitely the matter with this. Okay.

Want me to take your hat?

If you would take the hat please, and if you go out this way. I'll be-- You guys have a shoetree 'cause I forgot to pack mine. I wanna just make sure. I could borrow yours then? Great. (while traveling) Carmen can't outrun us while we're in this, Chief.

Chief

Yeah, but she'll probably see us coming.

Oh, another planet, another prison cell. Maybe I could spend my sentence getting to know Carmen better. Look for her in Europe.

Chief

And this is Wonder Rat, that self-glorifying snout-faced nibbler who works for Camren Sandiego.

(singing) Wonder Rat

Chief

His last known whereabouts: the Australian Airwaves. Times are tough for Australian television. Recently, all three of the country's commercial TV networks declared bankruptcy, but one network is doing well: ABC, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation. It's a government funded public network. Once regarded as a stodgy producer of science and news programs, ABC has become a crowd-pleaser. Or it had until today when Wonder Rat, with the help of his hired hopping hooligans, purloined the programming from ABC. While his ruse reconnoitered, the rat remained. Gumshoes, you got to catch Carmen, rope the rat, and solve today's case...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

...ABCee YA LATER!

(hears the sound of a stampede) Remember the ACME Triangle of Excellence, Gumshoes: (forms the Triangle with his hands) Vigilance, Dedication, Courage!

Chief

Here's a list of places Carmen may have traveled.

Chief, what are you doin'? You are completely off. That is not the right thing. It's not time for that!

Chief

Well-- Well, you're right Greg. I was just going by this schedule.

Well, then, your schedule is wrong, Chief. I'm sorry. (lightning flashes a second time) Excuse me! We-- We already had the Lightning Round! Listen, guys. We're havin' some kinda scheduling problem. I'm sorry. Lemme go try to work this out. I'll be right back.

I think ACME's ready to spring a trap on you.

Geez, I'd better stop... (sniffs) ...sniffin' around here, then.

Take the network to a Spanish town on the Mediterranean Sea. It's where artist Pablo Picasso was born. You can hole up in the Gibralfaro, an ancient Moorish castle.

Gee, that's great! A TV network, a castle? Hoo-hoo! I'm travelin' in style! I wanna be as famous as Michael Jackson. Hee.

You're gonna be as busted as Michael Milton if you don't move your tail.

Chief

Greg?

Yes?

Chief

There's mustard on your sleeve.

No kidding. (rubs his sleeve) Oh, gee. Sorry about that. I'll take care of that later on. Okay, thanks, Chief.

Chief

Greg, didn't I tell you to get this road flattened?

Sorry, Chief. I've been busy trainin' Gumshoes.

(before the Jailtime Challenge) You guys were tied at the end of the last round. We flipped a coin. Antonio, you won that toin coss. Toin coss? That cossed toin. You won. (laughter) You're gonna go first. Go ahead.

(each time Shoeprints are revealed) Near Scott's house!

(on his own) 1 mile from my house!

(each time the Australian Broadcasting Corporation is revealed)

(when Antonio wins the 2nd round) Wonder Rat! TOUCHÉ!

Chief

And this is Robocrook, Carmen Sandiego's silvery cylinder of slyness.

(singing) Robocrook

Chief

His last known whereabouts: Kazakhstan. The Baikonur Cosmodrome is the huge complex where Soviet rockets were built and launched. Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, blasted off from Baikonur in 1961. Over time, the cosmodrome sent up over 800 rockets. The countries of the former U.S.S.R. want to continue their space program, but they're searching for a partner to share the program's expense. That search was interrupted today when Robocrook boosted Baikonur and blasted off. Gumshoes, you got to capture Carmen, recoup the cosmodrome, and derail that...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

...RUDE ROBOT'S RECKLESS, RIDICULOUS ROCKET RIPOFF!

(about the Clue-Fish) I gotta get rid of the fish here. (to the audience) You guys want me to... You want me to save it, or d'you want me to fry it?

(chant) FRY IT! FRY IT! FRY IT! FRY IT!

Oh, no-no-no, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Hey! Hey! Hey! He's my buddy! I'm gonna save him! C'mon! (he throws the fish into the water) Sorry about that, audience!

Go to an ocean community off Africa's northwest coast. It's made up of 13 islands.

Which one is my destination?

Try Gomera. The locals sometimes speak a whistle language called Silbo. You know how to speak Silbo, don't you?

Sure. Just put your lips together, and blow.

Gomera was the last place Columbus visited before leaving for the New World. Legend says he was delayed because he fell in love.

You humans are hopelessly romantic.

At least we don't rust when it rains.

Chief

Boy, this is the way to travel, eh, Greg?

You said, Chief. Hey, pass the complimentary mixed nuts, huh?