Patty quotes from Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?

I know I shouldn't be telling you this, but it isn't fair that I'm in jail and Carmen's not. Look for her in (the United States/South America/Europe/Africa/Asia).

This jail is so neat. All the colors match! Gray, gray and gray. I want Carmen to enjoy it, too. Look for her in (continent). (Version A)

Carmen's still free and I'm not! Well, she can just go to fiddlesticks. Better yet, she can go to jail. To arrest her, go to (continent). (Version B)

Carmen, these teeth are grossing me out! Why didn't you give this job to Top Grunge?

Quit your whining, Patty. You have to move fast. Head for Africa's second largest country. It's on the Mediterranean coast.

But I don't even know anyone in Africa!

I have a close friend who'll meet you. She'll be wearing a veil.

A veil? Is that what all the women wear?

Only the strict Muslims. They believe it's improper to be in public unless they cover their lower face. Now stop with the questions. You just have to go.

Greg! Greg, who's that?

Right here? This is... This is Scott. We had a little... We had a little problem. We normally have a service that comes in and...

I see. Wanna see something special?

Yeah. Yeah.

Watch this.

Okay.

Yo! Yo! Scott! Rise.

(gets back on his feet, alive) Whoo! I feel great!

Ladies and gentlemen, Scott, the Dying Informant, is alive!

Pack up the bell and hop a plane to King Khalid Airport, the biggest airport in the world.

I know where that is! Will I have to wear one of those long, black cloaks?

You mean an abaya! No. But wear a longer skirt, out of respect for their customs.

And I can't drive, right? Women aren't allowed to drive.

You're so smart, dear. Wait a minute! Since when have you been driving?!

Since I stole a learner's permit!

(sings when the Liberty Bell is revealed in the 2nd round) The Liberty Bell!

Carmen, help! Where should I go next?

Head for the Nagoya or the Kanazawa. Some of the high school kids are going through what they call examination hell.

Eww! Sounds yucky! What is it?

They take a series a difficult tests to get into top universities. Many of them spend lots of yen per year on special test-cramming schools after their regular school day ends.

Wow! No fun! But couldn't they call it examination heck?

Just get going!

Number 2 pencil!

There's a salmon ladder... Oh, yeah...

Maybe at the Ashland Shakespeare Festival

Bad girl!

Bad girl!

Bad girl!

Oh, Patty's one bad girl.

P-P-Patty!

Ooh-be-do. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.

The Warrant!

Oh, yeah.

Rockapella, everybody! Let's hear it! Come on!

Patty, those ACME agents have found you. Head for Hobart. It's the second oldest European settlement in Australia.

Gee, Carmen, isn't that where they sent British convicts?

(laughs) Only the worst ones, Patty, but that was long ago. Now, it's the capital of one of Australia's best nature regions.

A nature region, huh? Sounds like a good place to hide the stone.

Of course it is, Patty. That's why I do the thinking. Go to Freycinet National Park. A henchman will be there to guide you.

Carmen, I'm on my way!

Now, guys, it's time for us to turn to the Paula Abdul of the geriatrics set. Please welcome Nana Rap!

(laughs) You're such a nice young man. I'd be happy to do some chill slammin' and jammin' for ya. Hit it! (rock music plays)

Let's hear it! Nana Rap! Come on!

Chief

I want results, Greg! I want you to find Patty! I want you to bring back that pooch! Lhasa Apsa... What's his name?

Lhasa Apso. Yep.

Chief

Yeah. If you get Patty, she will lead us to Carmen Sandiego, and that's what I want! Now, report, Buster!

Okay. Well, we had a talking yak for a while, which kinda threw us for a little bit. But...

Chief

All right. Wait. I'll sweeten the pot for the Gumshoes. (to the Gumshoes) Gumshoes, find Carmen, and I will send you anywhere in the whole country.

Uh, Chief.

Chief

What?

(whispers) We can't do that.

Chief

Why not?

We're talkin' 'bout budget. (whispers an idea to the Chief)

Chief

Oh. (to the Gumshoes) Anywhere in the lower 48 states.

Hey!

Chief

Hey, it's still a heck of a deal!

Heck of a deal!

Chief

Yeah. (to Greg) Go away.

Yes, ma'am. Okay.

Everything's okay.

If it isn't too much trouble, please bring 100,000,000 lire to the Via De La Scrofa. I'll be enjoying fettucine at Alfredo's. If I don't get the money by the time they serve the cappuccino, Apso will become a little dog gone. Molto grazia. I mean, thank you so very much. Ciao!

Hmm. Nothin' like a polite threat!

Aunt Carmen, they're closing in fast. What should I do?

Hide on the world's largest island. Then rent a dog sled. That's how some of the children get to school there.

Sounds cold.

It is. Most of the island is covered by ice a mile thick.

Anything else I should know?

Yes, dear. Brush up on your Danish. The island is a province of Denmark.

(about Scott the Dying Informant, prior to the 2nd round) He's really starting to annoy me.

Chief

Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's nest of nefarious ne'er-do-wells has struck again. This time, they scammed the sands from a beach in Brazil. For the residents of Rio de Janeiro, the beach is the place to see and be seen. (Rockapella sings "The Girl From Ipanema) And that song you're hearing, The Girl From Ipanema, made the beach in Rio's Ipanema neighborhood the most famous of all. Nestled between the Atlantic and a beautiful lagoon, you'll find white sands, wild waves, and beautiful people all surrounded by some of the highest priced real estate in South America. But now the girls of Ipanema have stopped walking because the beach is no more. Patty Larceny, Carmen Sandiego's sweetfaced scoundrel, surfed in, scarfed up the sands, and sambaed away. Your mission, gumshoes: put Patty in the pin, return the beach to Ipanema, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Patty, they're after you. Head for one of the states where Yellowstone National Park is found. Hide out in the Silent City of Rocks.

Gee, Carmen, it sounds kind of spooky.

Don't worry. It's just a granite formation. Pioneers in the 1800s thought the rocks look like a city. You can still see their names written on the granite, and legend says a bandit hid $90,000 in stolen gold nearby.

Wow! A bandit! I feel right at home. Has anyone ever found the gold?

Not yet. Bring a metal detector.

Chief

Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her gang of vino vipers have vandalized again. This time, they did the deed on the island of Phuket in Thailand. Around 1785, the governor of Thalang, Phuket's administrative center, died. So the king of Burma thought, "Hey, good time for me to invade." His army tried to take Phuket, but they ran into two obstacles: the governor's widow, Khun Ying Chan and her sister, Kung Ying Muk. The two rallied the townspeople and forced the Burmese army to retreat. Thailand's king was so grateful that he had these two bronze statue of the sisters erected. They guarded Phuket until today when Patty Larceny, that greedy goody-goody, snuck onto the island and grabbed the girls swords and all. Your mission, gumshoes: lock up Larceny, send the statues back to Thailand, and then catch that crazed crime creator Carmen Sandiego.

I just adore these sisters. They're pretty, but they're dangerous. Just like me!

But always remember, dear, they are good guys, and you're a bad guy. Now, listen. Sail off the Río de la Plata to the capital of Uruguay. Hide the Heroines behind the Gaucho statue. It's a bronze monument to these hard riding horsemen.

I know what Gauchos are. They're cowboys.

That's right, Patty, dear. Now, quit showing off and shove off.

Sassy Sisters!

Chief

Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's gang of goons have glommed again. This time, it happened in our nation's capital, Washington, D.C. The Supreme Court is the highest level of the judicial branch of government for the United States. It has final say in matters of constitutional law. The court includes a Chief Justice and eight Associate Justices. They're appointed by the president, confirmed by the Senate, and served until they decide to retire. Now since they don't run for office, they can make decisions without worrying about what voters might think. But yesterday, in an attempt to impress her social studies teacher, Patty Larceny swiped the court, Justices and all. This brazen bib for brownie points must not go unpunished. Your mission: put Patty in the pin, save the Supremes, and then catch Carmen Sandiego.

It's now time for our second clue. So, listen very closely. This one comes in now-- We turn to a gal who is presently choreographing Madonna's next world tour. Nana Rap, whatcha got for us?

Word to the gumshoes, Gregmeister. Let's rock the house! (rock music plays)

Nana Rap, ladies and gentlemen!

Convene that court and move out fast. Head for a nation where King Hammurabi once ruled.

Sure, Carmen. That was part of ancient Mesopotamia. It's where they created writing, and... and the wheel, and the 60-minute hour, and...

And unfortunately for us, Patty, they created one of the first systems of law. Its main principle was the strong shall not injure the weak. Ha! Can you imagine?

Gee, Carmen, how did you ever learn so much about the law?

I make it a point to know my enemies.

(coughs) This jail cell is awful! (snorts) No matter where I stand, I'm never more than 12 feet away from the soap. (coughs) And it's all Carmen's fault! Go get her in (Continent). (coughs)

Robocrook Unit-059 calling. According to my default program, when imprisoned for more than 11 seconds, I automatically rat on my owner. Look for Carmen in (Continent).

I used to be a sweet innocent schoolgirl. Now I'm a sweet guilty schoolgirl and it's all Carmen's fault! Go look for her in (Continent).

Darn that Carmen! I've gone from Salesman of the Century to starchin' socks in the prison laundry. I'm climbin' down the ladder of success. Look for Carmen in (Continent).

Uh-oh. If Carmen finds out I'm in jail again, I'll get fired for sure. Do me a favor and don't mention that you caught me when you're chasing her through (Continent).

Aw, man! This prison is heinous! The guards keep playing Michael Bolton tapes. Get Carmen in here! She'll make 'em stop! She scooted to (Contient).

All right! Now I can sell my prison memoirs and make a zillion! Get Carmen in here so she can make me a publishin' deal. She's hidin' out in (Continent)

Oh, another planet, another prison cell. Maybe I could spend my sentence getting to know Carmen better. Look for her in (Continent).

That Carmen's a party pooper. We've been in jail for 17 seconds already, and she hasn't even visited yet! Look for her in (Continent).

Chief

And this is Patty Larceny, Carmen's sneaky sophomore snitcher.

(singing) P-P-P-Patty

Chief

Her last known whereabouts: Edinburgh, Scotland. Bobby the Dog belonged to a shepherd named John Grey. On market days, Grey and Bobby always stopped for lunch at a tavern across the street from Greyfriars Church. When Grey died in 1858 and was buried in the churchyard, the dog refused to leave his master's grave. For 14 years, Bobby left only once daily to eat at the tavern. When Bobby finally went to doggy heaven, friends built a statue of him near the churchyard. And, it stood there until today when Patty, armed with a heavy duty leash, tempted the terrier with a savory smelling dog biscuit. First, he resisted her advances, but then she collared him and walked him away. Gumshoes, you've got to find out where that...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

...LITTLE DOG GONE!

Carmen, this bronze dog is awfully heavy and he doesn't even know any tricks.

Don't whine, Patty dear. The Gumshoes have sniffed you out. Go to an island nation east of Mozambique.

Hey, I'll stash the loot there.

You won't be the first. Pirates use this island as a base in the 17th and 18th centuries. It's also famous for its chameleons-- lizards who can change color.

If I were a chameleon, I'd go for a nice floral print.

Your color's going to be jail cell gray if you don't get moving. Now, scoot.

Chief

Oh, this guy is such a good driver.

He knows how to stay on a straight line. That's for sure.

Chief

Yeah.

Chief

And this is Patty Larceny, Carmen Sandiego's heinous, brainous teenage terror.

(singing) P-P-P-Patty

Chief

Her last known whereabouts: Washington, D.C. The Hope Diamond may be the world's most famous jewel. Named for the English family who owned it from 1830 until 1901, the flawless blue stone weighs 45.5 karats. Huh, that's big. Superstition says that anyone who touches the Hope Diamond will die, and to that I say, "Of course they will, because everybody dies eventually!" Well, anyway... in 1958, the Hope's last owner donated it to the Smithsonian, where it's been on display ever since. Until today, that is, when pernicious Patty, with teenage dreams of glamor in her brainy head, sidled into the Smithsonian, heisted the Hope, and sashayed away with it. Who says dreams can't come true? We do! Gumshoes, you've got to grab that girl and catch Carmen, and stop...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

...THE HOPE ELOPEMENT!

I used to be a sweet innocent schoolgirl. Now I'm a sweet guilty schoolgirl and it's all Carmen's fault! Go look for her in South America.