Double Trouble quotes from Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?

We’ll party a lot hardier in the slammer if we know Carmen’s on her way. Look for her in (the United States/South America/Europe/Africa/Asia).

We're doin' the jailhouse rock. But it just isn't a party without Carmen Sandiego. You'll find her in (continent). (Version A)

The warden threw a party in the county jail. The prison band was there and they began to wail... for Carmen Sandiego. Go find her in (continent). (Version B)

We're partying in prison, and we crave Carmen's company. Look for her in (continent). (Version C)

Okay, guys. It looks like the Double Trouble twins have now just... They've left the country. They boogied completely outta the picture.

Says who?!

Oh, it's you. Uh... Wait a minute. Wait a second!

What are these fake plastic fingers ya have on here?!

Hey! Hey! What are you...?! Stop that! How... How come... How come you get to have all the fun? How come I don't ever get to have any of the fun?!

Hey, hey. Hey! Hey, hey! Hey!! HEY!!! Listen. We're in the middle of a criminal investigation here. Now, STOP IT!!

Oh. Okay. I'm sorry, Greg.

Chief

Greg, some things are meant to be. Grass is meant to be green. Water is meant to be wet. Carmen Sandiego is meant to be in jail! And she's out there loose, for a while, she's been there, and, well, things have started to go haywire!

Ready for another party, boys?

Geez, we’re always ready, Carmen.

Good. I want you to head down the peninsula from Tijuana to Ensenada.

Well, what’s the occasion?

The start of a famous international off-road race. Hundreds of drivers race all kinds of vehicles across the desert.

We’re rollin’!

Would you stop that infernal R-R-R-R-R-RACKET?!!

My upstairs neighbor, Mrs. Pumpkinclanger. C'mon. (enters the alley and looks up at Mrs. Pumpkinclanger's window) Hey, Mrs. P.!

You're noisier than those party fellows! I could hear they're going one halfway across the country last night. They were in Shreveport, at the Holiday-In-Dixie Festival, eating crawfish gumbo. Now, go catch those hooligans, and leave me in peace! (shuts her window)

Thanks a lot. Thank you!

Chief

This is Lynne Thigpen speaking for Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, and remember, we solve cases, we deliver; ACME sends crooks up the river!

Hey, Carmen, we're in trouble.

So, what else is new? Fly to Santiago, then take the falls north to the driest place on earth.

Where's that?

Just west of the Andes in the Atacama Desert. There are parts that haven't had rain in 400 years.

Ooh, that's pretty dry. Doesn't sound like much fun.

It's more fun than jail, you twin twits. Now, move it!

Greetings, Gumshoes! Here's the scoop. You wanna go ta'... Siam.

It's not called Siam. Not anymore.

Is the capital still Bangkok?

That it is.

Does it still border Myanmar, Laos, and Cambodia?

You're right.

Yes, "Siam"!

George!

Chief

Fine work, Jessica! And I've upgraded your status from Gumshoe to Sleuth!

Those Gumshoes are on to you. Take the Forbidden City to Basse Terre. That's a city in the French West Indies.

Well, gee, Carmen, we're not sure just where that is.

It's on twin islands with one name.

Just like us. Cool.

You'll love it, guys. There're lots of resorts, and they even got a Mardi Gras festival.

We're gonna party, party, party!

Just lay low or you'll get busted, busted, busted.

Please be quiet.

It's my upstairs neighbor, Mrs. Pumpkinclanger. Come on. Let's find out. Sorry, Mrs. P.!

I'm baking a souffle. I need absolute quiet, or it will fall. Look for those nasty boys on the hills above the shores of the Ohio river. You'll find the Bengals at Riverfront Stadium. Now, I must get back to my souffle. Shh. (shuts her window)

Thanks a lot, Mrs. P.

I'm not exactly sure where Double Trouble took the Triangle.

Now you've done it!

That's my upstairs neighbor, Mrs. Pumpkinclanger. C'mon. (he looks up at Mrs. Pumpkinclanger's window)

You've really done it this time. You've ruined all the maps! While you're down there being indecisive, a vital spot in New York has vanished into the Triangle! It's the spot mapmakers use to measure road miles from New York City. And now, it's just a big hole! Traffic's a nightmare on Broadway! Now, get out there and do something! (she frantically closes her window)

Jonathan Swift was a writer born in Ireland. His story about a gentle giant in the land of Lilliput has become a classic. In the story-- (Frank rings in) Frank.

The Jolly Green Giant?

I'm sorry. That's not the answer we're looking for. In the story, Jack and the Beanstalk-- Is the story Jack and the Beanstalk, Ghostbusters, or Gulliver's Travels? (Judd rings in) Judd.

Ellivle's-- Gulliver-- Gulliver's Travels.

I think we can accept that. Gulliver's Travels. Yeah. I know exactly what you're goin' through there, pal.

Those ACME agents are closing in fast. Hop into the triangle and disappear.

Geez, Carmen, we could make ACME disappear.

A lovely thought, boys, but I've got another idea. Go to an Italian city and stash the triangle in St. Mark's Square. You will have arrived just in time for the Biennale.

The Bie-what, Carmen?

The Biennale. It's a world-famous art show that happens every 2 years. Simply everyone will be there, boys. Don't miss it.

Geez, Carmen, we love those artist types; we're on our way!

(singing) Spooky Triangle!

Nice Job, You got Double Trouble. There's one more thing you gotta do now, and that's put 'em in jail. Pull this train-- cha-- trains...

This chain and do it! (Rockapella does Double Trouble's in jail tune) We normally have a train here that you pull, but we had a chain here today.

Head for Kyoto. When you see fire on a mountain in the shape of a symbol for big, you'll know you're there.

Sounds like fun. What's the occasion?

It's the Daimonji festival. The end of the Bon season. When the spirits of the dead return to earth.

Geez, sounds kinda scary to us, Carmen.

Don't worry, it's a celebration.

Hey, celebration's our middle name.

Chief

(refers to the St. Charles Streetcar Line) Take a ride. It's absolutely stellar. (imitates Marlon Brando) Stella. Stella! STELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Chief

This is Lynne Thigpen speaking for Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, and remember, if you get robbed, don't worry, Jack. We'll find your stuff and give it back!

Chief

Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her troop of troublesome tricksters have tried it again. This time, they crashed the Caribbean. Throughout most of the Caribbean and South America, the ancient tradition of Carnival is alive and well. The practice goes back to early days of Christianity. Just before the solemn season of Lent, everyone gets together and has one last big party. One of the best places to see the celebration of color, costume, and calypso is in Trinidad and Tobago. The people of this island nation take their fun seriously. Plans for next year's bash start almost as soon as this year's rebels have finished and all that planning and perspiration pays off in a two-day panoramic display of joy, imagination, and artistry. Or it did until Double Trouble, those pernicious party pouncers, dove into the festival and drove off with it. Gumshoes, your mission is to do in those double negatives, cruise the Carnival back to Trinidad and Tobago, and then catch Carmen Sandiego.

Dance all night and eat all day. Say no more, we're on our way!

Zip that infernal chatter!

Mrs. Pumpkinclanger obviously has a bee in her bonnet. Gotta go talk to her again. Sorry, are we buggin' you again, Ms. P?

Again?! Try "constantly"! Those terrible twins are in a festival for the birthday of the monkey god. On a small island of the tip of the Melee Peninsula. It's quite a scene. Chinese mystics who claim to be possessed by the monkey god filling good trans and pills there tongues and teeth would spill. It's all good clean fun and everyone enjoys themselves. Now, go apprehend that dreadful duo, and leave me in peace! Please!

Okay. Often wonder what Mr. Pumpkinclanger's life must be like. Haven't you?

(coughs) This jail cell is awful! (snorts) No matter where I stand, I'm never more than 12 feet away from the soap. (coughs) And it's all Carmen's fault! Go get her in (Continent). (coughs)

Robocrook Unit-059 calling. According to my default program, when imprisoned for more than 11 seconds, I automatically rat on my owner. Look for Carmen in (Continent).

I used to be a sweet innocent schoolgirl. Now I'm a sweet guilty schoolgirl and it's all Carmen's fault! Go look for her in (Continent).

Darn that Carmen! I've gone from Salesman of the Century to starchin' socks in the prison laundry. I'm climbin' down the ladder of success. Look for Carmen in (Continent).

Uh-oh. If Carmen finds out I'm in jail again, I'll get fired for sure. Do me a favor and don't mention that you caught me when you're chasing her through (Continent).

Aw, man! This prison is heinous! The guards keep playing Michael Bolton tapes. Get Carmen in here! She'll make 'em stop! She scooted to (Contient).

All right! Now I can sell my prison memoirs and make a zillion! Get Carmen in here so she can make me a publishin' deal. She's hidin' out in (Continent)

Oh, another planet, another prison cell. Maybe I could spend my sentence getting to know Carmen better. Look for her in (Continent).

That Carmen's a party pooper. We've been in jail for 17 seconds already, and she hasn't even visited yet! Look for her in (Continent).

Chief

And this is Double Trouble, Carmen's diabolical dual of do-badders.

(singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)

Chief

Their last known whereabouts: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Next to Rio's Guanabara Bay stands a towering chunk of granite rising 1,300 feet. The Indians who first lived here called the pointy isolated peak, Pot de Sucre, which means pointy isolated peak. Then the Portuguese changed it to Pâo de Açucar, or Sugarloaf. English nanny Henrietta Carstairs was the first European to scale Sugarloaf in 1817. Now hundreds of people a day take a six minute cable car ride to the peak. But no more because today, Double Trouble, engineers of mayhem, rallied through Rio, ripped off the rock, and, well, ran away. Gumshoes, you've got to catch Carmen and rustle up those...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

...RIO ROCK WRANGLERS!

Now, I really do think we're gettin' close to catchin' Double Trouble. All we hafta do is contin--

Oh, you think so, do you?!

It's my upstairs neighbor, Mrs. Pumpkinclanger. (enters the alley and looks up at Mrs. Pumpkinclanger) Hey, Mrs. P!

"How that red rain hath made the harvest grow", said the poet Lord Byron. He was describing a sight in the center of Belgium, where Napoleon fought his last battle in 1815 and now Double Trouble are a blight on that same sight. Uh, you know, I'm a bit of a poet myself. (shows a book) The stench of crime lies heavy upon us. Like a patient etherised upon a table and alas my downstairs neighbors are a clumsy surgeon and trusted with its cure. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Good-bye. (shuts her window)

Good-bye. Thank-- Thank you very much. Thanks a lot. By the way, we have copies of her book in the lobby after the show. Okay?

If you guys don't move, you'll be in a mountain of trouble.

Where to, Carmen?

Go to the country once known as Mesopotamia. It was one of the first civilizations on earth.

Well, that was then. What's there now?

The country's capital is a big city on both banks of the Tigris River. It's also the center of industry and transportation. They're reconstructing after the damage from the Gulf War.

We're there, boss! Let's rock the Cradle of civilization!

Chief

This thing is sorta drafty, Greg. Can you close the window?

No windows, Chief. This is the economy model.

Chief

And this is Double Trouble, Carmen Sandigo's partying pair of pilfers.

(singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)

Chief

Their last known whereabouts: Bombay, India's moviemaking Mecca. Bombay cranks out six to eight hundred films a year, three times as many as Hollywood. That's why some call Bombay Bollywood. R.K. Movie Studio, one of Bombay's biggest, makes films called Masala movies. Fantasies that combine action, romance, comedy, and hit songs. Many people in India are too poor to own a TV, but most can scrape together eight rupees to see a film. Or they could until today when Double Trouble boogied into Bombay and stole the studio, the lights, the camera, the action, they're all gone. Gumshoes, you've got a job to do. Bust those twin twits and stop...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Boys, those ACME goons are on to us. Where've you been?

Well, now, chill out, Carmen. We took the studio starlets ice skating in West Africa.

Ice? In West Africa? Who do you think you're kidding?

Not you, boss lady. We're at the Hotel Ivoire in Abidjan. Home of West Africa's first ice rink.

Abidjan? That's just 5 degrees north of the Equator.

Yep. Ain't modern refrigeration amazing? Listen, Carmen. We'll shake ACME as soon as we practice our Triple Sow Cow.

Chief

Watch the altitude, Greg. The air gets thinner up high.

Don't worry, Chief, this is a pressurized basket.

Hello?

Greg?

Yeah?

This is your doctor.

Yeah.

I got your letter about your little problem.

Well, I don't think I want you to talk about that on national--

No, No, there's nothing to be ashamed of, Greg. Lots of people drool in their sleep.

Oh, yeah.

All I suggest is, uh, sleep in a raincoat or put a spittoon by your bed.

Well, I think that's kinda silly.

And hey, hey, you're in good company, Greg. Plenty of celebrities drool.

Like who?

Lassie, Mr. Ed, Scooby Doo.

Yeah.

Benji.

Benji? (hangs up the phone) I had no idea what he was talkin' about. All of that was completely made up. What we're waiting for now is a call from Carmen Sandiego. (the phone rings again) There. This must be her. Yes? Thank you for callin'. (hands Folake the phone) It's for you.

Hello? (Double Trouble tell Folake to go to North America)

Aw, man! This prison is heinous! The guards keep playing music by Kenny G. Get Carmen in here before I freak out! She scooted to (continent).

Robocrook Unit-059 calling. The judge threw the wrench at Robocrook. I'm sentenced to 20 years as a jailhouse soda machine. Get Carmen to help. You'll find her in (continent).

This prison gym is terrible. I can only bench press 1000 pounds. Make Carmen bring me more weight. You'll find her in (continent).

(same as season 3)

Prison life is so uncivilized. 600 rooms and not a room service menu in sight. Tell Carmen this is more than I can bear. She went to (continent).

(same as season 3)

Now that I'm in prison, I'll get really famous. They want me on Current Copy, Inside Affair, and Hard Edition. Tell Carmen to cut a deal. You'll find her in (continent).

92 planets, 92 jail cells, My frequent prisoner miles are really adding up. I'll give Carmen a free trip to Roddenberry. Go find her in (continent).

(same as season 3)

(same as season 3)

These prison clothes offend my unique sense of fashion. Isn't my right to wear plaid in the Constitution? Carmen is in (Continent). Tell her to get me a lawyer.

Know why they call me Wonder Rat? 'Cause it's a wonder that I'd rat on my own boss. (giggles) Carmen scooted to (Continent). Go get her.

I just got back from the prison laundry, and they mixed colors and whites in the same wash! (cries) I can't stand it anymore! Go find Carmen in (Continent). Tell her to help me.

A virus has infected my system software. It causes me to divulge Carmen's location. You'll find her in (Continent). Please, don't say that I sent you.

Prison sports are really fun. I get used as a frisbee, a dartboard, and a second base. Carmen should see me play, but she's in (Continent). Go find her.

Aw, man! This prison life is bogus. The guards just confiscated my tattoos. Carmen's gotta spring me, but she's in (Continent). Go find her.

This prison food is so dreadfully boring, I can't even get a jar of Grey Poupon. Maybe Carmen could help, but she's in (Continent). Go find her.

We were partners in crime. We should be cellmates in jail, but the warden wants to split up this dream team. Carmen's laying low in (Continent). Tell her she's gotta help.

(coughs) Prison life is so disgusting, I can't believe I have to live in a place this clean. (coughs) Carmen's hiding in (Continent). (snorts) Go tell her to spring me. (sneezes)

I thought maybe I take some classes while I was in jail, but the warden says they don't have a nursery school. I need Carmen to help me, but she's in (Continent). Go get her.