Veronica Mars quotes from Veronica Mars

Weevil

You want a sodee pop or something?

Veronica

You know? I think I want something with a little more kick. (grabs Duncan's bottle of Jack Daniels)

Hey, no.

Weevil

Damn girl!

Veronica

Hmm, iced tea. How very musical theater of you.

Veronica

What do you want for Christmas?

Keith

Love and respect.

Veronica

You know.. there are some people who think Christmas is about the birth of Christ, not baseball.

Keith

Well.. we're all entitled to our own religions Veronica.

Logan

Do you even know how to play poker?

Veronica

No, but it must be really hard if all you guys play.

Keith

You don't go to the Oceanside bars that the college kids hang out at, do you?

Veronica

I prefer the biker bar by the train station. I get more attention there.

I hear you do detective stuff for people.

Veronica

I do favors for friends.

I can pay.

Veronica

Sit down, friend.

Lamb

Veronica Mars. Is your daddy here or is he busy peeking in people's windows?

Veronica

You stop dressing up like Little Bo Peep, he'll stop peeking.

Veronica

So, what made you decide to be a cop?

Uh, well, it's the same old tired story. I was sent here by the agency to do a strip-o-gram for Inga, an armed robbery call came in, I figured I was in uniform anyway, so what the hell.

Veronica

So you're saying you just kind of stumbled into it.

Oh, what I'm trying to say is... This uniform? It's a tear-away.

Veronica

[in jail] Know any good lawyers?

Very cute. I know an adequate one that just posted your $500 bail.

Veronica

They take Diner's Club here?

Wallace

This mission better involve me seducing the head cheerleader.

Veronica

I need you to poke around and see if you can get me a fake ID. If you must seduce the head cheerleader in order to accomplish your mission, so be it.

Wallace

No sweat! How do I do it?

Veronica

Play on her insecurity.

Wallace

I meant the fake ID.

Veronica

Hi, Dad. Their case is fuzzy and circumstantial.

Keith

You know the odd thing? Those were also her first words.

Lamb

[reading off of a $50 bill] Veronica Mars is... smarter than me.

Veronica

[slaps Lamb playfully] Oh, you stop it!

Keith

Hey honey, what's cooking?

Veronica

Not sure myself. Something that ends in -aroni.

Logan

There's a woman who saw my mom get out of her car and get in a van with a "mysterious stranger."

Veronica

There's also a jungle tribe that worships Donald Trump's hair. It's a tabloid.

Logan

So the girl with a pig arm can't really bowl?

Veronica

I just don't want you to get your hopes up.

Logan

I'm not paying you to worry about my hopes; I'm paying you to follow leads.

Veronica

I wasn't aware you were paying me.

Logan

This isn't a favor. It's a job, you know. I mean, we're not exchanging friendship bracelets.

Veronica

I'll stop braiding.