Veronica Mars quotes from Veronica Mars

Keith

Wallace's mom had a plan, and I didn't want to overstep.

Veronica

Overstepping is your main form of transportation.

Veronica

Oh, God.

Mac

What?

Veronica

My outbox. There's an e-mail from me to my ex-boyfriend.

Mac

Duncan Kane? [Veronica looks at Mac] You used to be all anyone gossiped about. You still are. Just... a different way. So, what does it say?

Veronica

"Dear Duncan, I want you to know that I still love you very much, and I think about you constantly. Everytime I see you, my heart breaks. I need to tell you that when we were dating, I had VD. I hope you didn't catch anything from me." Am I naked? Because in my nightmares, I'm usually naked.

Veronica

Listen to this. "Not that innocent? Buy the results of anyone's purity test. Ten dollars will let you know if you're dating an angel from Heaven or a hottie from Hell."

Wallace

That's crazy. You can go on there and buy anyone's test?

Veronica

I never thought I'd say this, but I kind of can't wait for school tomorrow.

Veronica

Funny. No one's come running up to me.

Meg

It's because people are afraid of you.

Veronica

Then something's working.

Meg

Getting tough? Yeah, that was good advice. And I needed that. The getting even part? You might want to rethink that one. You do have friends, Veronica.

Wallace

My mom thinks I'm staying at Norman's house.

Veronica

Who's Norman?

Wallace

Norman is my imaginary, straight-A, Eagle Scout (does air quotes gesture) mama's boy friend.

Veronica

He sounds boring for an imaginary friend.

Wallace

Mom seems to like him.

Veronica

Can I get you some coffee? A donut? Baked good of some sort?

Aren't we pleasant. You're not going to try to sell me a raffle ticket, are you?

Veronica

Close. I want you to get me onto death row to meet with Abel Koontz.

You crazy kids! The stuff you're into. Hula hoops, cramming into phone booths, visiting death row inmates...what's it gonna be next month?

Veronica

Meg, you're the last good person at this school. I'd believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning. If you want, I can find who posted that test for you. We'll clear your name and make somebody pay.

Meg

Really?

Veronica

Unless there is a Fairy Godmother already on it.

Keith

It's a waterbed.

Veronica

Alright.

Keith

Come on, you've wanted one of these things since, like, you were 5 years old.

Veronica

I also wanted to marry Vanilla Ice and build the world's largest collection of Z-bots.

Veronica

I'm so ashamed of myself for my meltdown last night. I was a rampaging jackass.

Have you forgotten who you're talking to? I'm Casey Gant, okay? I wrote the jackass Bible, the jackass Qur'an, the jackass Talmud.

Keith

You're covered in mud.

Veronica

See, that's why you make the big bucks.

Veronica

Someone stole your laptop?

There was this poker game at Logan's last night. Weevil won five grand and someone stole the money. This is his way of collecting.

Veronica

You lie down with dogs, you're gonna get fleas.

I didn't invite him.

Veronica

I wasn't talking about Weevil.

Veronica

[tilts head] Hey.

Weevil

See, there you go with that head tilt thing. You know, you think you're all bad-ass, but whenever you need something, it's all [mimics Veronica's head tilt] "Hey."

Veronica

Just be glad I don't flip my hair. I'd own you.

Veronica

Look at you, all helpful.

Logan

Hey, your peskiness being unleashed on Connor brings me joy. Annoy, tiny blonde one! Annoy like the wind!

Veronica

A little impressed, aren't you?

You must be really unlucky on love.

Logan

Ok, I say we take a little break, let the cosmos realign. 'Cause obviously something's up.

Veronica

My father sent me with paperwork for your mom.

Logan

And you just wanted to say hi? It's a good thing I didn't have my slam book out.

Veronica

I wanted to ask you about the game.

Logan

I've been meaning to ask you something. Did your super-sleuth kit come with a decoder ring? Do you have a pen that writes with invisible ink? Never mind, don't care. Mush! Mush!