How is an ex-president's ex moving back in with her going to go over in small town America?
Unlike small town America, Andrew fucks me in a way I really enjoy.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
In order to find an ideal match, the restaurant table, food, and tie will be the same for every date to establish a control. The girl will be different.
Jesus, Kent! He's just gotta go to a laundromat, meet a girl, take her to a movie, little chit chat, couple, three drinks, standard HJ in the cab home, and a year later he's a father. Why do you make it so goddamn complicated?
You know, one time I tried hitting on a girl in a laundromat. For someone with broken English, she was real uppity.
There's your answer.
Carry on.
[Selina has caught Andrew cheating on her]
I just can't believe I fell for it. Again!
Andrew is very hard to get rid of. He's like the herpes virus, or an unwanted child.
Well, in this case, he gave me both.
BBuddy
I can't believe I spent the night in jail!
It's a piddling DUI. In Nevada, that's practically a resume-builder. There's a guy driving drunk on the state flag, right next to the guy beating his wife.
I need a drink. It's gotta be 8 a.m. somewhere.
We're backing Professor Nikolai Genidze. He's a new voice for democracy in the region and would be a major victory for the Doyle Doctrine.
You have a doctrine now? What is it, "Boners are rare, don't waste them"?
Hey, did you think of that while you were walking on the beach with a metal detector, or however you fill your empty days?
That's nice.
Nikolai Genidze is the only hope for the Georgian people. He has the soul of a poet.
Yeah, well, that and a car with a sunroof could have bought you my virginity in '83.
You're just in the middle of what we Americans call a...
Difficult situation.
...fuck-fog.
God, that is the most grotesque country I have ever been in, and I have been all over Florida!
We have a lead on a site for your library: Eastern Shore, Maryland. If it was any more Kennedyesque, it would drive you into the ocean.
Ma'am, I tried everyone on the finance committee...
Yeah?
...and they all said no.
All of them?
They all said no very fast.
DDoctor
Well, your sperm count looks normal, but the motility is abnormally low, which means, I'm sorry to say, that it may be virtually impossible for you to conceive.
Seriously?
I'm so sorry, Dan...
So I've been pulling out this entire time for nothing?
Well, that has nothing...
Oh, I am gonna save a fortune in Morning After pills! There are, like, three girls who owe me an abortion refund.
The Judiciary Committee has asked you to send them everything you've ever written on abortion.
Well, I can give them my actual abortion if I can find it lying around here somewhere.
I'll check the freezer.
I haven't slept with a woman over 30 since I was 14... and that was because I needed the grade.
Whatever happened to Louise Kellogg?
Oh, God. I made Andrew can her slutty can. Then we just hired the least fuckable press secretary we could find.
Huh, that's actually right when I started working with you.
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