Amy Brookheimer quotes from Veep

Amy

Mike, talk to me. I am in a room with three people and a fuckload of quiche.

Amy

You know, democracy is fantastic but it is also fucking dull.

Amy

[to her sister] You have three kids by two different guys, maybe your last word should've been "No."

Amy

[to Dan] You have more nervous tics than a shoe bomber.

Amy

You know, they say all babies are cute, but whoever they are should be stuck in a stroller and pushed into traffic.

Amy

If there is any dirty trick I cannot stand, it is honesty.

Amy

I feel like I'm on a life support machine and the keep pulling the plug... to charge their phones!

Amy

Saddle up those emphysema tanks, you inbred cousin-fuckers, because we are going to drag this state into the 20th century. That's right, I said 20th.

Amy

We have a lead on a site for your library: Eastern Shore, Maryland. If it was any more Kennedyesque, it would drive you into the ocean.

Amy

You're as useless as a dick at a roller derby.

Amy

We've just been denounced by the ACLU. We are going to win this thing!

Amy

So, Dan, Are you enjoying working for Hallowes?

Dan

Not really. She's middle of the road. She's mediocre, really. Of all the -ocres, she's the mediest.

Gary

[about the coffee machine] Do I add water to this machine? It's like a robot.

Dan

It's a nice bag, Gary.

Amy

You know, he calls that "The Leviathan."

Dan

Ooh, you got the nuclear codes in there, buddy?

Gary

[still about the machine] Is there a pouch or something that I put into this?

Selina

Okay. What do you think of Dan?

Amy

Oh, Dan is a shit.

Selina

You want to expand on that?

Amy

Sure. He's a massive and total shit. When you first meet him, you think surely to God this man can't be as big a shit as he seems, but he is.

Selina

See, I—

Amy

'Cause like if there were a book with covers made of shit, you'd think "That's intriguing. I wonder what's in this book that they saw fit to give it covers made of pure shit." And then you open it and... shit.

Selina

Oh, my God, this heat is just unbearable.

Gary

I feel like a gecko.

Amy

Sorry to interrupt, but fuck-a-deedoo-dah, fuck-a-dee-ay! Martin at the White House.

Selina

What?

Amy

"Clean Jobs task force likely to be green lit!" Exclamation point.

Selina

Yeah! Oh, my God! That is so great for me!

Amy

And the country.

Selina

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I meant. Oh, Amy. Good job, Amy.

Amy

That's why I get paid the medium bucks.

Amy

Uh... When was this Two point me meeting with Selina?

Dan

Oh, are you still tracking my every move? I thought we agreed to move on.

Amy

Move on from what? We dated for like a week. It was like getting over mild food poisoning.

Dan

Look, Amy, I am genuinely sorry that my arrival here has caused you to become so self-conscious and gain a little weight.

Amy

Fuck point you.