Pete quotes from Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place

Berg

(to Pete) Where you going?

Pete

To the psychiatric ward. To find out why I'm friends with you.

Pete

Berg, what are we gonna do with two women that we've picked up in a bar?

Berg

Don't make me get my anatomy book.

Bill

I thought your birthday was in May.

Pete

Nope, that was just a rumour started by my birth certificate.

Berg

I think I really like her.

Pete

Why, because she doesn't fall at your feet?

Berg

And what is up with that?!?

Pete

Berg, I'm 24. Why did you make me 30?

Berg

You get better presents.

Pete

I don't want to be 30.

Berg

Act your age.

Pete

You're jealous, but listen buddy, I'm always gonna be Pete, you're always gonna be Berg, and we're always gonna be Pete-n-Berg.

Berg

Shut up! You've gotta believe me! Molly's like...girlfriend of the corn!

Berg

Molly has...how can I put this...horrifying scary evil violent side!

Pete

I see...that must be why she baked you muffins this morning!

Pete

Why aren't you at work.

Sharon

It's toxic Awareness day?

Pete

I've known this woman for five months now and Berg thinks he can just waltz right in there and close the deal.

Berg

I object! Close the deal? I would like to apologise for his attitude towards women.

Sharon

Right. This coming from a guy with a VIP card at 'Topless, Topless, Topless'.

Berg

They have an excellent wine list.

Berg

I have to meet Bernie and Fitz at the gym at nine. We're watching intermediate aerobics.

Pete

Come on Berg, just go to the ten o'clock session.

Berg

That's advanced aerobics. Any girl with that kind of discipline, totally wrong for me.

Pete

This girl is a nightmare.

Berg

She’s like us…but a chick. You know I’m going to do her the ultimate favor and not date her.

Pete

Me too!

Pete

She’s completely my type, she has conviction, she’s principled.

Berg

Yeah, yeah but under that she’s exactly my type - naked.

Bill

Tell me something. How come none of you guys date Sharon?

Berg

She's Sharon.

Bill

What's that got to do with anything?

Berg

Pete, explain it.

Pete

She's Sharon.

Berg

Help me pick a new major, No, I'm serious. I need to make a decision, go ahead pick a major, any major.

Pete

Russian Economics.

Berg

Phew, glad that's over with.

Sharon

What about this one?

Pete

Hooker.

Sharon

High class or street?

Pete

Jerry Springer.