Bill quotes from Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place

Berg

Bill, I don't believe we've seen the last of this feisty young girl from Wisconsin!

Bill

Don't talk into the food.

Bill

I thought I told you no more experiments. They interfere with your work.

Berg

This is harmless.

Bill

Yeah, that's what you said when you couldn't get your sweat glands to stop. They had to follow you around with a mop.

Pete

I don't believe it, she broke up with me! I just got dumped.

Bill

Hee hee, boy did you ever! And in front of everybody, too!

Bill

Sharon, if you don't like it, quit. Life's a waste unless you're doing what you love.

Sharon

You're right! I mean, I can do anything I want! I mean, I'm smart!

Bill

Absolutely right.

Sharon

Yeah, I'm motivated!

Bill

Yes, you are.

Sharon

I'm a people person!

Bill

I got to go back and count my pepperonis.

Sharon

I am! Aren't I, Berg?

Berg

Shar! You're a lot of things, but 'people person'? It goes the Unibomber and then you.

Sharon

Hey!

Berg

No! (kisses her forehead) That's why we love you!

Bill

You know, Ellen and I always dreamed of having a son who becomes a doctor.

Pete

Bill. What about an architect?

Bill

Hey, I've already got a building. I need free medical!

Berg

We sit on the upper deck and when the guy says, "This is where Paul Revere took his midnight ride," we both yell, "Yeah! On your Mom!"

Bill

Exercising the First Amendment.

Berg

When I do that bit with Sharon, people laugh. When I did it alone, they said, "Honey, move away from that man."

Pete

I love Melissa, just not at a Celtic game, you know? I mean every time they miss a shot, she says, "It's gonna be okay sweetie."

Bill

What does Sharon do?

Pete

Ah well, Sharon screams, "Hey! You make 7 million a year. Make the (Berg slams the pizza paddle on the counter)-ing shot!"

Pete

Bill, if you sponsor us it will be great publicity for the pizza place.

Bill

Yeah, like the 1985 Beacon Street Little Cheeses.

Pete

But they made the headlines.

Bill

For being the first team in Little League history to lose every game. They were always drowning their sorrows in my free pizzas. They got so fat I had to drive them to the games in groups of three.

Bill

I thought your birthday was in May.

Pete

Nope, that was just a rumour started by my birth certificate.

Bill

Tell me something. How come none of you guys date Sharon?

Berg

She's Sharon.

Bill

What's that got to do with anything?

Berg

Pete, explain it.

Pete

She's Sharon.