Irene quotes from Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place

Irene

I think you'll feel better if you just let it all out.

Sharon

Okay, Pete was just trying to hang a mirror, he doesn't love you, I hate your sweater, and YOU'RE NOT FUNNY!

Pete

Irene, you were screaming!

Irene

Oh, yeah, I must have been thinking out loud. Guess what I am.

Ashley

A danger to yourself.

(on touring, to IRENE): I miss my cats. I have seven, you know.

Irene

(excitedly) Really?!!! Wow! Between the two of us, we have almost FIFTY cats!

Sharon

Ashley has a new boyfriend?

Berg

Who is he?

Irene

I don't know.

Berg

Ah, well here is one of Pete's socks for your trouble.

Ashley

(kissing Irene's cat) he's just a little cutie!

Irene

Oh, thank you!

Ashley

Oh, you're just a little cutie (kissing Irene too)

Berg

Oh, and she's just a little creepy!

Irene

Excuse me Superintendent Donnelly, I have a grievance

Johnny

OK, Irene, this is really not a good time.

Irene

But this is urgent. I've discovered a violation in the lease agreement. It specifically prohibits prostitutes in the building and Pete's girlfriend is a whore.

Irene

All evidence of our misguided tryst must be destroyed

Berg

You’re not going to kill me, are you Irene?

Irene

Don’t be silly, would I tell you if I was?

Irene

Good morning.

Berg

Good morning.

Irene

You want breakfast?

Berg

No thank you.

Irene

You want to get the hell out of my bed?

Berg

Yes please.

Berg

Trust me, I’m more embarrassed about this than you are.

Irene

Because of Pete?

Berg

Sure. why not.

Berg

Pete and Marty just broke up.

Irene

Get out!

Berg

Serious!

Irene

No,no! GET OUT!

Irene

Pete Dunville, I'm breaking up with you

Pete

I can honestly say I didn't see this coming

Pete

I don't think I'll be good company tonight.

Irene

You could be bound and gagged and you'd make good company.

Pete

You're picturing that right now, aren't you?

Pete

Oh what the hell, I've nothing better to do

Irene

Oh Pete, you know how to say all the right things!

Irene

How could you do this to Berg?

Pete

If anyone, I thought you would understand.

Irene

Well you thought wrong Batman, the boy wonder’s got his cape all in a bunch

Pete

Irene, can’t we talk about this later, Commissioner Gordon just sent out the bat signal.