Mr. Bauer quotes from Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place

Mr. Bauer

The shark's coming right at me and I only have one bullet left! I think, huh, I'm a goner! Then I see the oxygen tank in its mouth, what do you think I do?

Pete

You shot the tank and the shark blew up(!)

Mr. Bauer

I shot the tank! And the shark blew up!

Melissa

You're a brave man, Mr. Bauer.

Pete

Then, you and Richard Dreyfuss swam back to shore! Thanks a lot, Mr. Bauer.

Mr. Bauer

(laughing) Yeah, that was a hell of a day!

Mr. Bauer

You know, I was in love once. We shared a flat in France. Then the war came, all hell broke loose. Somehow I found myself in Morocco running a nightclub and she walked back into my life. But by then she was married. Don't do what I did, son. Don't let her get on that plane!

Berg

It's okay, Mr. Bauer. You'll always have Paris.

Pete

Am I the only one who knows what's going on here?

Mr. Bauer

You are not alone, my friend! I was once the favorite, everyone looked up to me, and then along came the new kid on the block - Buzz Lightyear! Showing off all his fancy gadgets to all my friends; I was just a pull-string cowboy, how could I compete?

Mr. Bauer

And then!

Pete

Oh, God!

Mr. Bauer

What do you know, I get thrown in the toy-box along with Potato Head and Slinky Dog. Huh! To Infinity and Beyond my ass!