Pete quotes from Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place

Berg

All they do is study, they're pathetic.

Pete

Yeah, yeah I know. I mean that's who I want operating on me, the guy who just wings it.

Pete

Berg, all this means is you're just going to have to study a little bit more.

Berg

Or, find out who is number one and take them down.

Pete

Yes, you're maturing nicely

Pete

So, if you were a brady... you'd be Jan!

Berg

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

Pete

Does it show?

Pete

You da Bomb!

Sharon

Where did he learn that?!

Berg

I just, don't know!

Pete

Guys, come on -- for once I need my own life.

Berg

He can't have his own life. Especially when we got nothing going on.

Sharon

I hate my gym, all it is is a disgusting meat market. They lure men into joining by putting all the Silicon Sallies by the window so they can ogle them.

Pete

You didn’t make the window again, huh?

Sharon

No, third row.

Berg

A few years ago, I kinda met Nicole at a party.

Pete

Don’t tell me you slept with her.

Berg

Well, that kinda ruins the end of my story.

I’m a stock broker now.

Pete

You manage money? In school you couldn’t manage to put on deodorant.

Pete

Oh Berg this is heaven.

Berg

I always knew heaven would have an open bar!

Pete

Do you remember life before the luxury box?

Berg

Only vaguely.

Pete

Wow, these are the blueprints to the original Fenway Park!

Berg

You know in real life it’s much bigger.

Berg

So tell me, how are we going to work through these negative emotions?

Pete

Well I’m going to lunge at you and beat you to death with my sports broadcasting book.

Pete

The real tragedy about all this is that tomorrow is the first day of Katie’s life without me.

Berg

Wasn’t that day four years ago after she dumped you?

Sharon

You waltzed with her?

Pete

And a couple of tangos.

Sharon

And she gave you money? Pete you’re a hooker!

Sharon

Wow. Thanksgiving at my place.

Johnny

Yeah. My sister makes a great Thanksgiving dinner, but I know yours is gonna be even better.

Sharon

I have to cook?

Pete

(Yelling to them upstairs through the window) Hey Sharon, here's another new tradition, close your window!