Sharon Carter quotes from Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place

Sharon

Wait what about this? On behalf of all the crocs we just croaked we at the Immaculate Chemical Company would just like to say, “Whoops!”

Sharon

You will not believe the humiliation I just suffered for you. I had to peek into every shower stall. I got three screams, two dirty looks, and an invitation to play golf.

Sharon

Johnny is driving limos part time for some extra cash. It’s great, when he’s off duty we get to play ‘easy prom date.’

Sharon

Everybody's in love. You and Ashley, me and Johnny, Pete and his tricks.

Sharon

Admit you did it.... or, tonight at dinner I'm gonna tell my father that you two squandered the thousands of dollars he spent to get me through college.... on a bottle of booze.

Sharon

(wants Berg to get her the dress another woman has) I've seen you talk a woman out of a dress--for once, use your powers for good!

Sharon

(about Ashley) We are helping each other out; I need a job, she needs a friend.

Sharon

C'mon. It's not like I don't want to. But, I mean, y'know we've got to act responsible here. It's not like we're teenagers.

Sharon

Isn't that sweet. (kisses Johnny)

Sharon

Go on. Tell 'em honey.

Sharon

Oh my god, Mr. Lockwood. Is he choking?

Sharon

(Reading the paper) Oh wow! Look at that. That stock that Ashley told us about has really gone down.

Sharon

Thank god you were too chicken to buy more than one share. If it were up to me, I would have put all our money into that thing.

Sharon

Okay, I got to go to the store and get some coffee for the morning. Is there anything else that we need?

Sharon

What's up with him?

Berg

He's breaking up with Melissa.

Sharon

Good.

Pete

What? I thought you liked her.

Sharon

I lied!