Courtney quotes from Two and a Half Men

Evelyn

And I just want you to know, I'm not after your father's money.

Courtney

I'm sure you're not.

Evelyn

Believe me, I got plenty of my own money.

Evelyn

You son of a bitch.

Alan

So you weren't the one who was...

Evelyn

Of course not. I already married the man! I just can't believe he'd cheat on me on our wedding day!

Courtney

Excuse me, my father is lying here dead!

Evelyn

With his pants around his ankles and lipstick on his hoo-hoo.

Berta

So who do you suppose was smoking Teddy's sausage?

Courtney

Berta, that is my father in there!

Berta

OK, so who do you suppose was smoking your father's sausage?

Courtney

Hi, Charlie.

Charlie

Courtney? I thought you were in prison.

Courtney

I was, but I'm out now. Wanna go to Vegas?

Charlie

Are you kidding? I'm in the middle of Thanksgiving with my family. Last time we were together you kind of ripped me off.

Courtney

I haven't had sex in three years.

Charlie

Bye, everybody.