Two and a Half Men · Season 5, Episode 16
Courtney and your brother are helping me with the wedding arrangements.
It's your fifth wedding, Mom. What do you need help with, besides remembering the groom's name?
You know, I'd cut him out of the will if I thought there was a chance he'd outlive me.
When you marry my grandma, what does that make you to me?
Nothing.
And I just want you to know, I'm not after your father's money.
I'm sure you're not.
Believe me, I got plenty of my own money.
[Alan and Charlie are in the ladies' restroom]
What are you doing?
I'm here, I figure, what the hell?
Just remember to put the seat back down.
It's a ladies' room. Why do they even go up?
I don't know. It's a bigger target for broads who want to puke their dinner.
[Charlie enters the house late at night. Alan is sitting in the living room.]
You were with her [Courtney], weren't you?
What are you, my wife?
No, I'm the wedding planner.
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