Jake quotes from Two and a Half Men

Alan

Do you realize how lucky you are? You could have broken your necks.

Jake

There were precautions.

Alan

You flew off the roof! In a shopping cart! What precautions?

Eldridge

We were trying to land in the ocean.

Alan

You missed it by a hundred yards!

Alan

Have you told your mother about this?

Jake

No, I was hoping you'd tell her.

Alan

Why would I tell her?

Jake

Because she already hates you and she scares the crap out of me.

Eldridge

It seems overly complicated.

Jake

What is?

Eldridge

Why don't they just make chips with the dip already on them?

Jake

Dude, that's a million dollar idea.

Eldridge

What is?

Jake

Pre-dipped chips.

Eldridge

Hey, that's a million dollar idea.

Jake

What's a million dollar idea?

Eldridge

It's an idea worth a million dollars.

Jake

Boy, I wish I had one of those.