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S8 E14

Two and a Half Men · Season 8, Episode 14

“Looking For Japanese Subs” quotes from Two and a Half Men

3 quotes

“Looking For Japanese Subs” · Season 8, Episode 14

In this episode: Alan (3), Jake (3), Eldridge (3)

[Jake is planning with Eldridge to make a 'Human Fart Rocket' for their show Dumbass]

What are you doing?

Fixing Eldridge something to eat.

Really?

Yes, I was feeling peckerish.

You mean "peckish".

Fine, if you wanna dicker. [Jake and Eldridge laugh]

[Jake has just performed "The Human Volcano" and thrown up on Alan]

Cool stunts!?! I-in God's name, why!?!

You've heard of Jackass?

Yeah.

We are Dumbass.

[Sarcastically] Really? However did you come up with that name?

Well, we thought, what's better than Jackass?

That was kind of a rhetorical question.

It was between Dumbass and the Ass-kateers.

[Sarcastically] Really? I think you made the right call.

Think so?

Oh, yes. I respect your decision. Now get this cleaned up!

[After Jake and Eldridge almost injure themselves in the shopping cart stunt]

Do you realize how lucky you are? You could have broken your necks.

There were precautions.

You flew off the roof! In a shopping cart! What precautions?

We were trying to land in the ocean.

You missed it by a hundred yards!

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