Shit! It's Chuck Scarsdale! Hide or we're gonna be on the news!
“Handsome Ransom” · Season 4
In this episode: Monarch (3), Doctor Thaddeus Venture (2), Hank Venture (2), Dean Venture (1), Sgt. Hatred (1), Dr. Mrs. The Monarch (1)
(Monarch is in Wonder Boy's costume which traumatize Captain Sunshine.)
SCaptain Sunshine
Take. That. Costume. Off!
Whats the matter Captain Fun Time? Isn't this what you always wanted?!
SCaptain Sunshine
What are you talking about?!
Wouldn't it just fix everything twisted up inside of you if you can only fuck Wonder Boy and your worst enemy at the same time, huh? Well come and get us!
Hey um, do you think maybe you could put in a good word for Batman for me?
SCaptain Sunshine
GET OUT OF MY SANCTUM SOLARIUM.
MThe Monarch
[Laughs evilly] Time to pay the piper, Venture. Or in minutes my meca-pillar silky issue will destroy the only living proof you've actually had sex. That is, unless you give me $10 million!
VDr. Venture
What?! Since when do you arch for money?
Yeah, what are you doing?
MThe Monarch
Honey, how long have we been trying to kill this schmuck, 10, 20 years?
I don’t know, since Marky Mark had a Funky Bunch!
MThe Monarch
And it never works. You wanna know how to really hurt Venture?
Not really, but as a wife I try to be supportive, so.
MThe Monarch
We strike him in the pocket book. Ha-ha.
Yeah, speaking of which, how much did those meca-pillars set us back?
MThe Monarch
I dunno, a couple of mil. Anyway, it’s $10 million Venture. Tick-tock tick-tock.
VDr. Venture
Look I don’t have that type of cash lying around.
Daddy! [Meca-pillar gags him]
VDr. Venture
All right, you can have anything in my lab. Anything you see here, take your pick. Anything except for the positronic accelerator...
MThe Monarch
I don’t want any of your old crap. This isn't "Antiques Roadshow," dick. Its your money or their lives!
Yeah, quit being such a skin-flint and pay the piper-man.
Now don’t take sides with your arch-enemy!
Shut up, you're not the dad of me.
VDr. Venture
Hank! Don’t you sass your bodyguard.
He’s not my bodyguard.
VDr. Venture
Will you accept half for just Dean? You can keep Hank.
Your father doesn’t mean that Hank.
VDr. Venture
Oh don’t I? Do you know what Mr. Smart-Mouth called me as he stormed out this morning? A "honky!"
MThe Monarch
[Chuckle] Did you really?
Yeah.
MThe Monarch
I’m transmitting you the instruction for the drop-off now, I suggest you follow them. Or your boys will follow the rainbow bridge to Valhalla. [Laughs] That is not as dark as its sounds in my head, is it?
Henchman 21, there's a taxi idling in the driveway awaiting his fare... slay him!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Venture Bros. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.