Cody quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Cody

Zack, you told me you booked two dancers who looked like they were from the '60s, not two dancers in their sixties!

Zack

They looked good in this picture.

Cody

Didn't you notice the brontosaurus in the background?

Zack

I got beaten by a girl! It's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me!

Cody

More embarrassing than the time in gym class when your pants fell down?

Zack

That was you.

Carey

Zack, I can't believe you're being that shallow.

Cody

Face it, Mom. He's as shallow as a kiddie pool.

Zack

At least I'm not scared to swim in one.

Cody

[to Zack] I just hope you don't act like a jerk again around Ella.

Zack

No, no, I'm going to be a perfect gentleman. And we're going back to Putt Putt Party and I'm gonna politely pummel her to a pulp.

Barbara

Cody, this looks really complicated.

Cody

Not really. All you have to do is look at it as if it were an isosceles triangle. The giraffe on the line intersecting it diagonally.

Barbara

And if you calculate the angle trajectory, you should be able to find the coordinates of the optimal target zone.

Cody

I should have bought my protractor.

Barbara

Oh, I have one! (reaches to her back pocket and takes it out.)

Cody

The Angle Jam 2000?

Barbara

I got it for Chanukah.

Zack

Cody, I have a date with Ella this Saturday and I need you to go with us.

Cody

Oh no! I know what you're doing and I'm not going out with her creepy sister...

Zack

But you...

Cody

...or brother...

Zack

C'mon you-

Cody

...or dog.

Zack

[to Cody] Would you relax? You can go with whoever you want.

Cody

Why do I need to go with you at all?

Zack

Because...I really wanna impress Ella and no matter what we end up doing, you just make me look better.

Cody

What's wrong, Chef Paolo?

It's the results of my blood test.

Zack

It can't be that bad.

They found bacon bits!

Zack

What are you doing on the court?

Well, I decided I'd better play. Not that I want to, but I can't let you guys turn our team into a laughing stock.

Bob

Too late.

Trent

Oh, it's never too late!

Bob

Dude, you're spitting on me.

Zack

Welcome back to the team.

Cody

But who's Jamie going in for?

Zack

Well, I'll give you a hint. His number rhymes with nerdy.

Zack

Remember those kids playing basketball in the lobby? Well I was hoping that if Jamie meets them, he might be interested in basketball again.

Cody

He was the best player on our team.

Zack

Ahem.

Cody

He was the best player on our team.

Zack

Can't you throw?

Cody

Can't you catch?

Zack

Well I'd catch it if you could throw it.

Cody

Well I'd throw it if you could catch it.

Trent

HEY! Do you guys know what I hate more than losing?

Zack

What?

Trent

YOU TWO!

Have fun on your vacation, Madeleine.

Maddie

Fun? It's 20 degrees colder in Minnesota than it is here. Penguins go there and say: "wow, it's cold, let's leave".

London

They have talking penguins there, and you still don't want to go?

Zack

Bye, Maddie. [hugs her]

Cody

Bye, Maddie. [hugs her]

Carey

Bye, Maddie. [hugs her]

Zack

[pulling Carey away and hugging Maddie again] Bye, Maddie.

Carey

Zack, remember how we talked about people's personal space?

Zack

Yeah, and I like Maddie's space the best.

There they are!

Great news! We've sold Zack and Cody!

Marvellous! I'll get some bubble wrap, and we'll ship them off immediately!

No, we've sold a sitcom about twin boys living in a hotel, and you're all in it!

Oh! we're going to be stars!

Hooray!

No, you're not, we'll hire actors to play you.

Oh...

But you're all invited to Hollywood to be consultants on the show!

Hooray!

But you'll have to pay your own way there.

Oh...

London

We could all go in my private jet!

Hooray!

London

But we're all out of salted nuts.

Oh...

I've had enough of this silliness. I'm out of here.

Hooray!

I heard that.

Maddie

Give me the hat!

Esteban

Aah!

Zack

He won't hurt you!

Maddie

Not if I have the hat!

Esteban

Oh, no! Don't unwrap it! Who knows what it looks like after thousands of years! Aah, it hideous!

Carey

Come here, honey, are you okay?

Cody

Swell. I'm just a little dizzy.

Zack

Welcome back, buddy.

Cody

Welcome back? You left me wrapped up for hours. Where have you been? I thought you were coming right back to get me.

Zack

Well, we did. But the mummy we took was just a doll wrapped in gauze. It was a total fake!

How did you find out the mummy was a fake?

Maddie

It's a fake?

No.

London

Liar, liar, cargo pants on fire! This necklace is probably plastic! Here, Maddie, you can have it.

Actually, the necklace is real emerald.

London

Thanks for holding it for me, Maddie.

Carey

If the artifacts are real, why would you have a fake mummy?

Because I couldn't find the real one. I spent eight years in the jungle, living on beetles and bats' blood.

Eew.

I've found all these beautiful treasures. But nobody cares about them if I don't have some stupid mummy. It's all about the mummy... mummy, mummy, mummy!

Carey

I think he has mummy issues.

Barbara

I'm taking five AP classes.

Cody

I'm taking six.

Barbara

Oww!

Cody

Steel-toed boots.

Cody

[to Zack] You know, Mom's really gonna be mad when she finds out you're not graduating.

Zack

Well she can't be too mad when she finds out I saved a life.

Cody

Whose life did you save?

Zack

(tries to shove an apple into his mouth) Here, choke on this.