Cody quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Zack

I have a plan.

Cody

[to Sanjay] Don't listen to him. That's what he always says right before we get grounded.

Zack

No, this plan is sure-fire.

Cody

Correction. That's what he always says right before we get grounded.

Cody

Where have you been? I asked you to get me some more dust rags half an hour ago!

Zack

I couldn't find any.

Cody

Where did you look?

Zack

The refrigerator. All I found was two bagels, a soda and some cheese balls.

Cody

The guys will be here any minute. Get the game board.

Zack

Ok.

Cody

[drops a coin on his perfectly done bed] Perfect! [turns back to see Zack's bed covered with different objects] Wow! What the... How the... I was just...

Zack

Found it!

Cody

The game board?

Zack

And the other half of my sandwich!

Cody

If mum sees this, she'll be ticked. And I am not, repeat - NOT...

Zack

Not.

Cody

Cleaning this up again.

Zack

Fine.

Cody

I'm not.

Zack

Ok.

Cody

I mean it.

Zack

I know.

Cody

I've got to clean it up!!

Cody

How do I look? And be brutal.

Zack

Like a backstabbing French-girl-stealing jerk in a goofy sweater vest.

Cody

You really think it looks goofy?

Cody

I wanna ask Jolie out. Can you translate for me?

I'd rather lick the inside of a city bus.

Do you like coloring?

Cody

I sure do, little one! In the first grade, I won a free ice cream sundae for my work on the "Enchanted Pony Island Coloring Book"!

You're weird.

Zack

He's got you pegged.

Cody

Ow! Little boy, don't you know it's not nice to kick people in the shin?

Cody

Ow! Look, Kid, I know Santa, and someone just made the Naughty List!

I'm Jewish!

Carey

I am so pleased that you boys care about the environment.

Zack

Hey, recycling cans is important, and I love this planet, and I want our children to live in a better place...

Cody

Maddie is not here.

Zack

[handing Cody a bag of cans] Oh... Then you carry this junk.

Cody

Zack, stuff the chicken with vegetables!

Zack

What if she doesn't like them?

Cody

She's dead.

Zack

Well, then, that'll make it easier!

Cody

London, get out there and toss a salad.

London

At who?

Zack

Cody! There's a supermodel checking in! Come on!

Cody

I can't. I have a hot duck in the oven.

Zack

Well, I have a hot blonde in the lobby. Which is more important?

Cody, you hang out in the hotel kitchen a lot, don't you?

Cody

Yes!

Well, don't. I just got a tip that the food critic Bernard Bernaise is coming to the hotel tomorrow. A good review from him will enhance the Tipton's reputation, thus showering me with glory.

Cody

Don't you mean showering chef Paolo in glory?

Him, too.

Cody

After all, the man's a genius. The things he can do with asparagus... I need a moment...

Zack

You need a life!

London

Is the critic here yet?

Oh, well, there's no way of knowing. According to my secret source, he always checks in under an alias.

Maddie

You have a secret source?

At the league of extraordinary hotel managers. If only I could find out which guest he is, then I could make sure he gets the perfect dining experience.

Maddie

So what you are saying is you need someone to spy on all the guests?

London

Someone sly and crafty.

Someone who's willing to break all the rules to get what he wants.

Zack

You know... we don't come cheap!

Patrick

Garry and Richard are the only waiters who can do table-side service.

Cody

London! Get Garry and get Rich.

London

I'm already rich.

Cody

My poor Seafood Medley...

Zack

It's seafood deadly now!

Cody

You know, Tim always obeys me.

Zack

He's a rock!

Carey

If I give you guys pets, will you stop bugging me?

Yes.

Carey

Pet rocks. Don't overfeed them.

Cody

I'm gonna name mine Tim.

Carey

You're gonna write those girls an apology and an essay on why peeping is wrong. Five hundred words each.

Zack

Five hundred words? Couldn't you just ground us?

Carey

One thousand.

Zack

One thousand!

Carey

Two thousand. You wanna go for three?

Cody

Quit while we're behind. You don't even know three thousand words.