Cody quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

This painting has been hanging in the Tipton for nearly a hundred years.

Zack

Oh good, now you can buy a new one!

Old is good.

Cody

And that's what makes you great!

Esteban

Oh, Mr. Moseby, forgive us. Back home they would tie my arms and legs to four goats and send them off in different directions... It is also what they do for the people with bad backs!

Cody

[to Zack] I don't need anymore of your help! Just keep out of my way and stay over there.[flour is flicked into Zack's face]

Zack

Did you just flick flour into my face?

Cody

Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.

Zack

[flicks flour into Cody's face in retaliation] Well maybe I flicked some back, and maybe I didn't.

Cody

[calmly] I know you didn't, because if you did, I'd do this! [cracks an egg over Zack's egg, the yolk running over his head] And that is how you separate an egg!

Zack

And this is how you separate a pie from its pan. [pies Cody in the face and runs off, with Cody chasing him into the lobby]

Cody

[holding a pie] Come back here and take this banana creme pie like a man!

He wouldn't! [Cody throws the pie at Zack, who ducks. The pie ends up hitting a socialite in the face] He would!

Carey

Cody, do you have anything to say to your brother?

Cody

[to Zack] I'm sorry I flicked flour in your face.

Carey

Zack?

Zack

[to Cody] I'm sorry you're my brother.

Carey

[sternly] Zack.

Zack

I'm sorry I worked you like a packmule. I was only thinking about the money. Lots and lots of money, bagloads of money-!

Carey

Zack!

Zack

Sorry.

Cody

I didn't mind you making money off of my cooking. I just need some time to get it right... and 40% of the profits.

Zack

30%.

Cody

Done. [the two spit-shake]

Carey

Okay, but I get 10% of both of your cuts.

Carey

It's not worth it.

Cody

The box said it would be a honey mist auburn!

Zack

Oh honey, you missed auburn big time!

Cody

I've gotta win this science award. Then I can get into M.I.T. and invent a nanobot that eats oil spills and be able to retire comfortably while taking care of my aging mother and paying my brother's bail money.

Arwin

Zack's in jail?

Cody

Not yet.

Carey

The point is it doesn't matter if you win. All that matters is you do your best.

Cody

Well, my best isn't going to win me a Nobel Prize, pay for your nursing home, or get Zack out of jail.

Carey

Zack's in jail!?

Not yet.

Carey

(to Kurt after he, Cody and Zack watched a horror movie) You do realize that the last time Cody saw a horror film, I had to get rid of the monsters by scrubbing down his room with holy water.

Cody

It worked.

Carey

I actually cooked...for three hours!

Zack

Not for me. I'm stuffed.

Cody

Mom, do you ever find yourself feeling discouraged, unfulfilled, unappreciated?

Carey

Not if you eat my casserole!

Cody

Not gonna happen...

Zack

(about Troy Robbins) This guy just talks and talks and...

Cody

It's a lecture.

Cody

[to Zack] Okay, what are you gonna do for your school community service?

Zack

I thought I'd see a movie, then go tell poor people about it.

Cody

Zack, this is a chance for us to really help people. I'm thinking about working with kids.

Zack

I hate kids.

Cody

You better take this seriously or you're gonna fail while I get an A.

Zack

You're one of the kids I hate.

Cody

Mom, please tell me everything went okay with your demo CD.

Carey

Oh, yeah. The guy at the record company said I'd have a future as a cabaret singer. He suggested I check out The Tipton. Apparently, I just spent $500 to find out I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be!

Cody

At least I know I'll get a better community service grade than Zack.

Zack

I wouldn't be so sure about that. Mr. Moseby let me take all the buffet leftovers to the Mission. The mayor was there and he's giving me an award for helping out the homeless.

Cody

You?! An award? You can't even spell award.

Zack

Don't have to. It'll be on the plaque. Who's getting an A in community service now, huh?

Cody

I hate that kid.

Carey

[to the twins] Hey, guys. What'cha been doing?

Cody

Inspiring people to reach their full potential and achieve their dreams.

Carey

It's never just "playing ball" with you.

Cody

Agnes, what Zack is trying to say is, you came on a little strong.

Zack

No, what Zack is trying to say is [opens door] "Leave."

Zack

[about the commercial] This is great! This our chance to get on TV!

Cody

Yeah, I always thought you'd be on TV. I just assumed you'd be in handcuffs.

Zack

You mean, as a magician?

Cody

[sarcastically] Yeah, that's it.