Paulie Walnuts quotes from The Sopranos

I'll tell ya one thing and I'm not ashamed ta say it. My estimation of John Sacrimoni as a man just fuckin' plummeted.

Give 'im a break, will ya? It's an emotional day...

Ta cry like a woman? It's a fuckin' disgrace.

Paulie Walnuts

His fuckin' coach turned into a pumpkin. Heh heh.

Well, even Cinderella didn't cry...

Look, when it comes to daughters, all bets are off. I've seen tougher guys than John cry at weddings.

Yeah, well let me ask you this. If they can make him cry and if he's that weak, what the fuck else can they make 'im do?

I gotta agree with Phil, Ton'.

Oh, you do, do ya?

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Silvio Dante

Lemme ask you a question. Before he cornered you in the porta-potty, when the security guard was suckin' him off-

Whoah one sec, it-it was the other way around.

Paulie Walnuts

What?!

Vito was blowing the security guard.

Paulie Walnuts

Son of a bitch!!!

Carlo Gervasi

Catchin', not pitchin'?

He's not gonna know I told you?

Paulie Walnuts

You ain't gonna have no problem from Vito, believe me.

What are ya gonna do?

It'll be okay. Get him ta pay for some therapy.

(to Finn) Look, why don't you, uh, go out front, just get yourself a sandwich, any kind ya like huh? Soda. And, when we're done here, somebody'll take you back. Alright. (Finn leaves)

(laughs) I wanna kill the fat faggot myself! Be a fuckin' honor. Cut off his pisciatil' and feed it to 'im.

There can be no mistake now.

Paulie Walnuts

I can't believe I stuck up for 'im! I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart.

Well, we can't have 'im here in our social club no more. I mean, that much I do know.

Carlo Gervasi

Social club? He's gotta go!

I wanna think about it.

Yeah, I-I don't know.

Paulie Walnuts

(Paulie stands up) What the fuck?! What is there ta think about?

Sit down. (to Paulie)

Paulie Walnuts

Fuck that! I'll say it again! What the fuck is there ta think about?

You gonna take care of his kids, huh, after he's gone?

It's true. They didn't do nothin'. Poor little guys.

Now sit down. (to Paulie)

Paulie Walnuts

I'm sorry if I yelled T, it's just, how much more betrayal can I take?

(laughing) Vito a fag. Big construction tycoon. Ton', when he was always talkin' about "greasin' the union," who knew, that's what he meant? (does jerk off notion with his hand and Patsy Parisi laughs hard in response)

Alright, this stays in these four walls. Understood?

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Paulie Walnuts

(on phone) Yeah.

(on phone) Paulie, it's me. We had a problem down here, the ride...the Teacups...or whatever, a bolt busted. Thing jammed up. Some people got hurt.

Paulie Walnuts

Where's the guy who owns it?

He's talkin' ta the cops.

Paulie Walnuts

Fine. Fuck it. What'dya want from me?

It's pretty bad Paulie. Lady broke her wrist. Some Puerto Rican kid lost some...some teeth.

Paulie Walnuts

Ah...what am I, a fuckin' dentist?

I don't know, I thought you'd wanna...know. Maybe come down or somethin'.

Paulie Walnuts

I gotta be up in the mornin'. I got my fuckin' biopsy.

A'right. I...I'll take care of it.

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BBBobby Baccalieri

(angrily, at Paulie) Hey cocksucka!!! You hire some fly-by-night piece of shit and you don't tell nobody?

Jason Molinaro: Whoa, Bobby!

Paulie Walnuts

What the fuck you talkin' about?

BBBobby Baccalieri

You know what I'm talkin' about, you cheap fuck!

Paulie Walnuts

Ohhhh!!!

Patsy Parisi

Bobby, come on!

BBBobby Baccalieri

Hey, everybody wants to get rich, but you don't scrimp on safety.

Paulie Walnuts

Mind ya business, Bobby!

BBBobby Baccalieri

My baby girl was in that car. You owe me money, Paulie!

Paulie Walnuts

I owe you shit!

BBBobby Baccalieri

My wife's got nerve damage!

Paulie Walnuts

Fuck her too!

BBBobby Baccalieri

Get the fuck off me!

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NGNucci Gualtieri

Is it true what they're saying?

Paulie Walnuts

Who? About what?

NGNucci Gualtieri

The ride, the one that broke. You need to make a novena, Paulie. Those poor children.

Paulie Walnuts

What are you talkin' about?

NGNucci Gualtieri

You let Saint Elzear go without his hat.

Paulie Walnuts

Will you listen ta this? Fuck that voodoo, huh?

NGNucci Gualtieri

You cursed your mother, a blessed nun.

Paulie Walnuts

She had it comin'. Ya both did.

NGNucci Gualtieri

I didn't bring you up like that.

Paulie Walnuts

You're a fake. That's how you brung me up. Fuck the two o' yous.

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What the fuck is wrong with you?

Paulie Walnuts

What?

You tell some fuckin' goober your life story? We're supposed ta be layin' low!

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Speakin' o' loads. Hear the latest on Vito Junior.

What?

Marie called. He got expelled 'cause he took a shit in the shower in gym class.

Paulie Walnuts

Oh!!!

That sick little fuck!

You should see 'im. The makeup. Now without school, Marie says he's shut in his room all day.

Probably thinkin' about how ta pull a Columbine.

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Paulie Walnuts

What d'ya say we take a ride...little prime rib, on me.

Maybe next time.

Paulie Walnuts

What, are you watchin' your cholesterol now too?

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Paulie Walnuts

Lower your voice! I got neighbors!

Fuck your neighbors! When you gonna pay me?

Paulie Walnuts

When you suck the money outta my ass! Now get the fuck out!

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Hey.

Paulie Walnuts

How you doin' kid?

How's Little Paulie?

Paulie Walnuts

He's fucked up. He got your flowers though.

Good. Listen Paulie-

Paulie Walnuts

Forget it, okay? Shit happens, what are ya gonna do. There's no point ruminatin'.

You're right, I just wanted ta say I'm sorry.

Paulie Walnuts

Me too.

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You alright?

Paulie Walnuts

I know I had my differences with that kid...but maybe I didn't do right by him neither. If you were his dad, I was his Dutch uncle. And what the fuck did I do but get pissed off? Fight with him over cocksuckin' fuckin' money. And break his balls when he tried not to have a drink...or a little taste o' snow.

It's over Paulie.

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Alright, lets dispense with the five hundred pound elephant in the room huh? My kid tried ta off 'imself. We all fuckin' know it. That's it...nobody's got nothin' ta say...

How's he doin' Ton'?

They got 'im under observation, whatever the fuck that means. Stupid fuck! When did I lose this kid. What did I do wrong?

Paulie Walnuts

Whoah, come on.

Silvio Dante

Don't blame yourself T.

Lot o' pressure on kids today Ton'.

Still, ta try ta kill 'imself.

It happens skip.

(to Bobby) Happen ta your kids? (to Patsy) Or yours?

Patsy Parisi

They're all different Ton'. My son Patrick, I love 'im ta death, but he can be a moody prick sometimes...

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So?

Paulie Walnuts

All due respect, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart, I'm gonna pass.

I don't fuckin' believe this! Why?

Paulie Walnuts

Every guy who ran that crew died prematurely.

Ah, come on!

Paulie Walnuts

I beat cancer once, you got no idea what that does ta you!

Yeah, I know, I know, but Jesus, you got-

Paulie Walnuts

Richie Aprile, Ralphie M.I.A., Vito, and who knows what the fuck with Carlo and Gigi!

Gigi died takin' a shit!

Paulie Walnuts

Doesn't mean it's not part of an overall pat!

Paulie, you gonna deny yourself life change o' the money? A package to leave your niece who has MS? You know, it's like your bullshit with the cat. The fuckin' animal catches mice for us, but you drown it.

Paulie Walnuts

I would.

He's not lookin' at Christopher! A rat died in the wall back there or some shit.

Paulie Walnuts

I moved the picture, that fuckin' thing came to the new spot, and stared.

The abstract shapes or somethin'. Tell you this, since his death, my gamblin' looks done a one eighty.

Paulie Walnuts

Oh, okay. It's fine for you ta believe that, but I can't worry about a jinx? Ton', I never told this to another livin' soul...

Yeah?

Paulie Walnuts

One time at the Bing, I was alone ta meet Eddy Lind. I saw the Virgin Mary.

Why didn't you say somethin'? Fuck strippers, we coulda had a shrine. Sold holy water in gallon jugs. Coulda made billions!

Paulie Walnuts

I tell you somethin' deep in my heart, and you laugh it off?

I'm not sayin' there's nothin' out there Paulie, but to not live your life? What the fuck are you gonna do? Hey, you don't want the job, you don't want the job. I could put Patsy in there. He's gonna be part of my family now. Be good.

Paulie Walnuts

Prick. You always know what ta say ta me, don't ya?

I'm serious.

Paulie Walnuts

I live but to serve you, my leige.