Jay Nahasapeemapetilon quotes from The Simpsons

Jay

[to Apu] That's exactly what I'm talking to you about. You're my uncle and I love you, but you're a stereotype, man. Take a penny, leave a penny. I'm Indian, I do yoga. Why don't you go back to the Temple of Doom, Dr. Jones!

Homer

[laughing hysterically, but Marge and Jay are clearly displeased] This contest is over! Give that man the $10,000.

Jay

This isn't "America's Funniest Home Videos".

Homer

But... the ball! His groin! Ah ha! It works on so many levels! [laughs more] Roll it again.

Jay

I was kind of a douchewheel.

Even your way of apologizing offends me.

Marge

Yay!

The only Boston wins is because they cheat! Listening in our teams' headsets, fattening our cheerleaders, you know, for three games last year, Boston used a volleyball painted brown!

That was never proven, you Springfield screw-job.

Ugh! Boston fans. In town for the Dennis Lehane book tour.

Go kiss a Kennedy, you rule-breaking cranberry squeezers!

We don't cheat! We won 12 division titles in ten years, fair and square!

You dorks are just jealous of all our championship rings! [they start kissing their hands]

Homer

You're the one who's jealous. I only wish I could be as jealous as you!

Geez, Jay, this place has got more knobs than a hardware store. I hate this town!

Jay

So don't I. Frigging doorknobs [they laugh]

Automatic! [they kiss their hands again]