Homer Simpson quotes from The Simpsons

Homer

Sweetie, marriages are like water heaters. They sit peacefully for years, until they explode in a fireball, ruining everything you own.

Homer

If the beer's in a frosted mug, you're not alcoholic, you're an aficionado.

Homer Simpson

They say Muhammad Ali was the greatest of all time, but he never fought Cassius Clay.

Homer Simpson

Oh my God, a hipster! Marge, get him a microbrew, quick!

Homer

Lisa, I'm sorry to put it on you, but every generation has its to-do list. Yours is putting Miami on stilts, inventing new bees, and learning to peacefully live with fire tornadoes.

Homer

Honey, if something's bothering you, you gotta let it out. Like swallowed burps, buried feelings can burst out at the worst possible-- [burps]

Homer

Mmm...chest chips.

Homer

Mmm...jelly legs.

Homer

You know the rules, boy. In this house, I get the first shower and the last pork chop.

Homer

Must hammer nails.

Homer

[belches after eating a toxic donut] Better than the chimney in the furnace, am I right?

Homer

Mmmm...pepper spray.

Homer

Time for your bedtime sweet dream routine. [Lisa climbs into bed, and Homer switches the light off] Here's your night-terror teddies... [He dumps all the teddies on Lisa] And I'll set the night-light to "boogeyman banisher." [He squats down and turns Lisa's moon night-light on]

Homer

[As he wakes up from the Mario Kart nightmare After He (As Wario) knocks Lisa (as Mario) Off the Rainbow Road with a bomb.] It's-a me, Wario! It's all my fault! Wah!

Homer

Come on, get in there! Ghost pepper? More like Casper the friendly ghost. Oh. Now it's kicking in. [screaming]