In this house, we call her the Queen of...
LoriNO! NO MUSIC! [unplugs Luna's axe] NO MUD PIES! [Trashes Lana's mud pie] NO-
Way! That's totes cray cray!
Lori
[grabs the phone] NO PHONE CALLS! AND NO VIDEO GAMES! [grabs Lincoln's game]
Lori
[whistle blows] At ease. Just kidding! NOBODY IS TO BE AT EASE IN MY PRESENCE! As you know, Mom and Dad left me in charge. That means you have to do as I say, whether you're tall, short, or covered in fur and can only understand the word "sit"! Now, here is our schedule for this evening. 6:00 to 7:00: Sitting on bed with arms folded. 7:00 to 7:30: Chow. 7:30 to 8:00: Thorough cleaning of mess hall. 8:00: Staring at wall until falling asleep. Everyone got that?
LKLoud kids
MA'AM, YES, MA'AM!
Lori
[glares at Lana] DISMISSED!
[Lincoln gives his parents the first picture where his sisters are being themselves]
Lincoln, you bonehead! You gave them the wrong picture!
Lori
Yep! I knew you'd blow this, too.
No, I gave them the right one. The one that shows the real you. The perfect you.
[embrace Lincoln] Aw! Thank you, Lincoln!
Lori
"Come on, guys. We'll just find another pool."
"Actually, we've been suspended from every aquatic recreation center within a 60-mile radius."
[The gang stops and groans in agony]
Lori
"Seriously? How are we gonna keep cool now?"
[The sister start complaining that they're banned from every pool in town.]
"So that's it, then. No more pool for the Louds." [He gets an idea.] "That's it! Pool for the Louds! Why didn't I think of that sooner?"
[Heads off while the sisters continue complaining.]
[The sisters and Bobby are hanging out front with the Delux swimming pool Lincoln originally planned to get. Luna is playing a steel drum. Lori is taking pictures of her darling lifeguard.]
Lori
"Oh, that's fierce, babe."
[knocks Lynn in the water] "Have at thee! HA!"
"Just because I'm fabulous doesn't mean I can't have fun!" [slides down and swims] "La-la-la, la-la-la!"
[Lucy and Lily apply sunscreen on each other. Leni and Luan play Marco Polo again.]
"Okay, this time, instead of Marco Polo, why don't we just use our REAL names?"
"Okay! So I'm..." [looks at her brother, surprised] "Lincoln?"
"Boy, you really don't get this game at all, do ya?" [Notices what Leni meant] "Oh! Hey, Linc!"
[The sisters look happy to see him.]
[Aware of what's going on] "Hey, guys...what's all this?"
Lori
"Well, little bro, you had such a good idea in buying YOUR pool, we decided to-"
"-POOL our money to get this one!!!" [Giggles and everyone groans. Luan gets bonked by Lynn's noodle] "That's using your noodle!!" [Giggles some more] "Ow!"
"Aren't you gonna get in? There's TOTES room for one more!"
"You're gonna let me use your pool?" [The sisters are concerned] "Even though I kicked you out of mine?"
"Well, he was kind of a meanie."
"Not to mention selfish."
Lori
"And bossy."
"And he stole my whistle!"
"But that doesn't mean he can't use our pool."
Lori
"Why should you get her? I've literally been waiting 17 years for someone in this family who likes the things I like!"
[Lincoln and Lori rush into Lily's bedroom where Leni is stuck in Lily's crib]
"Oh, thank goodness. I got in here to show Lily my fashion magazine, but now, I can't get out of this baby prison!" [cries]
[Lori and Lincoln help Leni out of Lily's crib]
Lori
"There you go, Leni."
[Lily is having a tea party with Lola and Lana]
"More tea, Lady Lillington?" [Lily removes a tiara that Lola placed on her head]
She doesn't wanna have a dumb tea party. She wants to play with Izzy! [Puts Izzy on Lily's head. They then start to pull Lily by her arms, which discomforts her]
Dudes, give her back! We were in the middle of a jam sesh!
We were talking to Great-Grandma Harriet.
We were getting ready to take our show on the road!
We were gonna look at my magazines!
Lori
We were watching Dylan's date!
BT-dubs, Lori, Great-Grandma Harriet knows you re-gifted her brooch, and she is not happy about it. [Lori instantly looks regretful]
LLLola and Lana
GIVE US BACK, LILY!
[The other girls fight over Lily until Lincoln comes in and grabs her]
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!
[Lincoln tries to escape with Lily, but Lori stops him dead in his tracks]
Lori
I'll take that. [grabs Lily and runs]
Oh, no, you don't! [gets Lily back from Lori but crashes into Luan who switched Lily out with Mr. Coconuts]
Whoops. Sorry, Linc! Sorry, you loser! [laughs but loses Lily to Leni]
Ha! Na-na-na, na-na-na! [loses Lily to Lisa while she's gloating at Luan] LILY'S INVISIBLE!
[offscreen] Boo. [Lisa screams and she takes Lily from her] Boo.
[Leni runs off screaming; Lisa gets Lily back from Lucy only for Leni to intercept her; Luan tosses a banana peel on the floor causing Leni to slip and drop Lily and Lincoln catches her; Lynn intercepts Lily; Lola comes driving in her princess car and runs over Lynn and takes Lily from her; Lana tosses her jacks on the floor and causes Lola to have a tire blow out; in slow motion, Lola goes crashing and Lana grabs Lily only for the other girls to catch up to her by blocking her path]
[They all start having another brawl until Lincoln whistles out to them and they stop]
Look! We all want Lily to be our mini-me, right? Well, there's only one way to settle this. We'll let Lily choose.
Lori
Leni, why is this picture of Bobby hidden on your side of the closet?
Oh, there is it is! That was a surprise present from Bobby for your 88-day-iversary. He asked me to hide it for him, but I forgot where I put it.
Lori
That anniversary was eight days ago, and Bobby gave me socks! I can't believe this! You're literally seeing Bobby behind my back! You are no longer my sister!
G1Gamer 1
Pee-yew. What stinks?
[Suddenly, the TV goes off and it's revealed that Lincoln's sisters have unplugged it and are wearing potato sacks over their bodies and bandages on their feet, with a huge stench coming out of them, and all look incredibly furious]
Lori
GAME OVER, LINCOLN!
It's not what it looks like! [notices the game controller and hides it behind his back]
Lori
We're up there making all these sacrifices, and you're down here playing some stupid computer game?!
Okay, so maybe it is what it looks like.
If you don't wanna give anything up, why should we?
But... but... polar bear? [holds up the poster]
[Lincoln's sisters are starting to feel remorse again, but this time, unfortunately, they snap out of it.]
Aww...wait a minute! You can't use that on us anymore!
Lori
Come on, girls! Let's go get our stuff back!
[holding up her glass of air] And a refill!
[They do so, and leave the basement.]
[Lincoln returns home and finds his sisters all glaring annoyingly at him]
Wrong house! [closes the door but they somehow appear before him]
We were standing on the curb for over three hours!
Lori
The garbage guys literally tried to take Lana to the dump!
I'm really sorry. I had a busy day with the very wealthy Lord Tetherby and I just couldn't get away.
I cannot believe you have been hanging out with some random rich guy all day instead of taking your own sisters to the Burpin' Burger!
[repeating Tetherby's words] A man in a limo can't be seen in some rat hole named after a bodily function. It's just not done.
Lori
You're not a man in a limo. You're a kid who ate a bunch of mustard! As soon as your limo's gone, this little fantasy of yours is going to be over!
Oh, really? Is that why they're making me a member of their club tonight, hm? Now if you'll excuse me, I need to put on my formal wear.
[Lincoln pulls out a sloppy joe with a note]
C3Classmate #3
[reading the note] "Happy Sloppy Joe Tuesday, Lame-o. Signed, Ronnie Anne!"
C2Classmate #2
And there's a heart!
CClassmates
Ooh! Lincoln's got a girlfriend!
C2Classmate #2
When's the wedding day, Lincoln?
[annoyed] Ha ha. Very funny.
CClassmates
Ronnie and Lincoln sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
Guys, Ronnie Anne is NOT my girlfriend. She's rude and gross and totally annoying. I'd rather lick the bathroom floor than kiss that weirdo. [hears a gasp and sees Ronnie Anne] Ronnie Anne!
[Ronnie Anne storms out of the cafeteria with a sharped scowl]
Whoa, Lincoln, I think you really hurt her feelings.
Come on, Clyde, Ronnie Anne is the toughest kid in school. She'll be fine.
[Later… as Lincoln returns home from school]
Lori
You MONSTER! [throws a tissue box at him, angrily]
Lori
You made Ronnie Anne CRY!
Cry?! I didn't mean to! Wait, how do you know?
Lori
Bobby told me... Right before he broke up with ME! [sobs]
What? Why does Bobby care?
Lori
[opens up a photo book of her, Bobby, and Ronnie Anne] Because Bobby is literally Ronnie Anne's brother! He said he could never date someone related to someone who hurt someone he's related to! Or something like that!
Ronnie Anne has a brother? I thought she was raised by trolls.
Lori
[throws CDs at him] THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT BOBBY WAS TALKING ABOUT! [chases him around the living room and grabs him by the collar with both hands] You have to make things right with Ronnie Anne!
Okay! Okay! I'll call her right now and apologize!
Lori
No! Nuh-uh! Actions speak louder than words. Bobby has to see you being nice to her. That's the only way he'll get back together with me! Which is why we're going on a double-date.
Lori
It's all been arranged. We have a reservation at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet at 6:00. And you will make her feel like… THE MOST SPECIAL GIRL IN THE WORLD!!
C3Classmate #3
Hey, Lincoln. What you doing at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet?
I'm just here with family… friends… I mean, family friends.
C3Classmate #3
Isn't that Ronnie Anne?
No. I mean, maybe. I didn't know she was here.
C3Classmate #3
Hey, are those khakis? [gasps] You're wearing date pants!
C2Classmate #2
I knew it! Ronnie Anne is your girlfriend!
She is not my girlfriend! Guys, I already told you! Ronnie Anne is rude, and gross, and totally annoying! I'd rather lick the bathroom floor and kiss that weirdo!
Lori
[enraged] LINCOLN!
[Lori and Bobby are extremely angry at Lincoln for insulting Ronnie Anne for the second time in a row]
Lori
Lucy, wait. We're sorry we pushed you so hard.
Lori
We got a little too excited when you said you wanted to be normal and regular, like us. But you're not those things. You're Lucy Loud. You're perfect just the way you are. And we love you.
Sigh. There's no need to apologize. I know you were just trying to help, and I thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sit in the dark. That always cheers me up.
Just another minute, Lucy! Hang on, Lola. [Picks up the other toys and drops the balls] Whoops! [Lily cries] No no no no no! Wait! It's all okay. Shh, shh! [Bitey climbs into his pant leg and makes him trip over the ball. The other girls gather around Clyde and demand that he help with his problems. He takes out his fanny pack] JUST TAKE THE COOKIES! [The girls see the cookies and chase after them as Clyde runs downstairs]
[runs into Lori] L-L-L-L-Lori? [gets a nosebleed and passes out]
Lori
Whatever. [walks inside]
[Clyde comes to his own senses]
Clyde! Talk to me, buddy. What happened back there?
What? How is that possible? You're the most caring person I know and you make great cookies.
It's the confidence I'm struggling with. [panicking] What if I give bad crush advice, and my future sibling gets their heart broken? Or what if I can't choreograph a ribbon dance, and they drop out of school and start holding up convenience stores? I'm going to be a terrible big brother!
CLYDE! [shakes Clyde] You're spiraling! You can do this. Just get out there and try again.
I can't, Lincoln! I don't have the confidence you do. And I never will.
It's okay, buddy. How about we just forget the whole training thing and play some video games?
I'll just go grab us some snacks.
The Loud House · 632 quotes
