Will (to Carlton): Yeah, I got a date.
(holds up a model magazine) Who? Page 42?
S1Someday Your Prince Will Be in Effect (1)
S1Someday Your Prince Will Be in Effect (2)
I can't believe Carlton went to bed early.
Ashley, if you found out the only person in the world who would go out with was mentally deranged, you'd go to bed too.
S1Kiss My Butler
I dunno 'bout West Philly, but in L.A. you don't give stuff like that away.
I dunno 'bout L.A., but in West Philly, you mess with some other brother's girlie, you mess around and get yourself killed.
Well I dunno 'bout West Philly, but in L.A. we're man enough to take that risk.
My brother, you wanna take this outside?!?
S1Courting Disaster
PPhil
How would you feel if I came into your room and suddenly started throwing chalk around?
I'd be devastated. (said in a deadpan manner)
CCartwell
I was under the assumption...
CCoach
Ah. You made an assumption. Now, you should never make an assumption, because you'll be an 'ass' and the 'ump' will 'shun' you.
Hey, Hilary. Did Dad mention me during the game?
Yeah, he did say "Shut up, that's my kid you're talking about!"
S1Talking Turkey
Vivian (to Phillip): Do you know what my sister just said? You are not gonna beleve this. She said our kids are spoiled.
Philip (sarcastically): Oh, news flash.
You mean you agree with her?
Vivian, I'm the one who says they should be doing more work around the house. You're the one who is too easy on them.
Oh, really? Does this sound familiar? (imitating Hilary) Daddy, I need $300.
Will (to the kids): All I see is you guys getting a fancy ride, a fancy ride in a free car.
S1Knowledge is Power
Hilary, your father and I just want you to be all you can be.
You want me to join the army?!
Philip, I've been thinking about what Hilary said. That stuff about us putting too much pressure on her, how hard it is to live up to a college professor, how she believed she couldn't admit to us she failed.
You mean you bought that crap?!
Alright okay! I can't take it any more! I dropped out of college.
You did what?! ...Hilary when did this happen?
3 months ago.
3 months ago?
and you have been lying to us since then?
3 months ago?
Mother I can explain!
3 months ago?
That's awful! Is he making you clean his room?
No.
Will you clean miiiine?
Carlton!
I'm sorry, Hilary, but this is too good to be true! Why should Will have all the fun?
Why you little-
DAAAAAAAAD-
I HATE YOU!
S1Day Damn One
There's been a tragedy at school! Somebody scratched the word "Fresh" on the alumni desk. They already have a lead on who did it.
[nervously] They do?
They think it was a freshmen who lost his cool.
Lost his cool, that's funny. "Fresh" means cool, right Will?
I can't keep up with this new hip lingo.
But I thought that's why they called you the Fresh Prince?
Will buries his head in his hands
Day damn one, Vivian! Day damn one!
S1Deck the Halls
I don't know why I bother. It's impossible to compete with tawdry entertainment like MTV, Nintendo, the New Children on the Block...
Come on, Ashley. Let's write our letters to Santa.
Will, don't you have something better to do with your Christmas vacation than writing some silly letter?
Come on, Ashley. You can help me with mine. How do you spell Vanessa Williams?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.