[The Casagrandes are all cleaning the floors, windows, and furniture around the apartment]
BobbyGood morning, Abuela. I got up super early to do my part for our big day of cleaning. I'm visiting Lori at her golf college today. It's a surprise! [squirts mustard on the table and wipes it]
She'll be so happy to see you. [annoyed] And I'll be happy when you clean with soap instead of mustard.
Bobby
Huh? Aw, man. I'll go get the ketchup to get it out.
Bobby
[tiptoeing to Lori's golf cart, trying not to be seen, sprays perfume on himself] Lori's gonna be so surprised! [gets in Lori's bag and hides with red flowers]
Nice form, Lori! Looking good! [gives her a thumbs up and winks]
[chuckles] Thanks to all the one-on-one time you've given me.
Bobby
[pops the flowers] One-on-one time?! [wobbles and falls off the golf cart, rolling down towards them] Hey, babe. [chuckles]
Bobby
Yep. That's right, your… [stares fiercely at Ewan] boyfriend, Bobby. [back to Lori, normally] I came to surprise you. But enough about me. Who's this guy?
This is my classmate, Ewan.
You must be the famous [slaps Bobby on the back] Poo Poo Bear I've heard so much about.
Bobby
It's "Boo Boo Bear."
Ewan's been helping me with my game. He's literally the best golfer here.
Bobby
Nice! Helping how exactly?
Oh. With techniques like this. [makes an impression of Ewan] "Grip the club tight, Lori. Widen your stands. You're doing great!" [chuckles] That's my impersonation of Ewan.
That is so me, Lori! [he and Lori both laugh]
Bobby
[nervously chuckles] This is all so funny for me.
Lori's amazing. You're a lucky guy.
Bobby
Thanks, Urine.
Bobby
Urine. Got it.
[hugs Bobby] I'm so excited you're here! [sees and points to Carl and Sergio laying on a hammock] Is that Carl and Sergio?
Bobby
They kind of invited themselves.
Ooh, I wanna show you how much better my drive's gotten. All thanks to Ewan.
Oh stop, Lori. You’re making me blush.
Bobby
Great. [chuckles] Well, give me a sec to check on the boys. Gotta make sure they're behaving themselves. [walks backwards to Carl and Sergio; whispering] Did you guys see all that?! I think that guy's into Lori. And she doesn't exactly seem to hate him, either!
You're right to worry. That dude is after your girl.
[squawks] He's hot. And you're… you.
Bobby
[groans] This is awful! What do I do?
Relax. You just have to make him look like a chump.
Bobby
You don't think that's kinda mean?
Huh. Suit yourself. But don't come crying to me on their wedding day.
Bobby
[shocked] Wha…?! [fading into his imagination; standing outside the church window, watching Ewan putting a golf-ball style ring on Lori's finger and Lori and Ewan get married as they kiss, cries in despair and slowly slides down; back to reality, grabs Carl by the collar] I'll do whatever it takes!
Oh, Boo Boo Bear, there you are.
Bobby
Babe, I just had a fantastic idea. I was thinking Ewan and I should have a friendly little golf competition, huh? To get to know each other better.
[touched] Aw, that's so sweet. But you don't play golf, Boo Boo Bear. And Ewan's undefeated.
Bobby
Then he can give me some pointers as we play.
Sure, I think I can swing that.
[snaps fingers] Ooh. [she and Ewan laugh]
Bobby
[laughs harder, unable to control his annoyed anger] Well, may the best man win. [he and Ewan shake hands]
Bobby
Right. See, I'm learning already.
Bobby
[to Lori] You and Ewan were getting so close, I was afraid I'd lose you. So I made Ewan look bad. I'm so sorry, Lori... and Ewan... and everyone.
Bobby, that's ridiculous. I love you so much, I would never leave you for Ewan. Or anyone.
Bobby
Really?
[The crowd goes in awe as they kiss]
So, I'm not awful at golf then? I still got it?
CNCoach Niblick
Of course, [chuckles] I knew it all along. I was just kidding before. [Sits up, begging] Please don't leave us, Ewan.
Relax, Coach. I'm not going anywhere.
[Sunset at the Fairway University entrance, Bobby and Lori hug each other goodbye]
Bobby
I'll miss you so much, babe.
Oh, I'll miss you even more, Boo Boo Bear.
Bobby
[dials his phone after kissing with Lori] Hi, Abuela. We're just heading back.
[snatches his phone; feigning sadness] Abuela! We missed the whole day of cleaning. Oh, it's so sad!
Cheer up, mijo. I saved your chores for you. Good luck getting out of it this time, muchachos.
[squawks] I'm outta here!
[reaching out] Take me with you!
[Bobby, wearing cat jammies, and Carlota, wearing a prom dress, are both arguing in the living room]
Bobby
[in unison] What?! No way. You're wrong.
[in unison] I know what I'm talking about. [out of unison] I'm telling you, Bobby, word on the street is that the secret theme for Par's party, is prom.
Bobby
No way! It's kigurumi. Animal pajamas are so in. You can party and nap without changing.
Bobby, Carlota, I need one of you to watch the kids tonight.
Bobby
But Abuela, I can't miss Par's party, he's my BFF. He'll kill me.
And I need to be there for my vlog. If Cindy Tran gets the scoop on me again, she'll steal more of my subscribers! [takes out her phone, showing Cindy's vlog]
CCindy
Hey, it's Cindy Tran with Tran Talk! [sighs] Don't you just love me?
[fiercely] She's my nemesis. [in unison with Bobby] Make him do it!
Bobby
[in unison with Carlota] Make her do it!
[Rosa annoyingly takes one of her heels off and spins it on her finger, threatening them both]
BCBobby and Carlota
Right. We'll figure it out.
CCarolta
Alright, hear me out. I'll go for the first half of the party, and you take the second half.
Bobby
What? No way. Last time I was that late to one of Par's parties, Par didn't speak to me for a week. It was torture.
[thinking about it] Then how about we take shifts? 30 minutes each, I'm going first.
Bobby
What? Why?! No fair!
You're right, what about if you stay, and I go first?
Bobby
[not realizing] Much better.
Great! See you in 30. Bye! [leaves]
Bobby
[realizes] Wait. Darn it! [slaps himself in his face in frustration]
So, who ended up babysitting?
Bobby
[in hasty unison] Carlota.
Well, whoever it was, seems like you did a good job.
[Hector sits down, right on top of the 'on' button, and gets snow blasted onto the ceiling]
[decided to finally come out of her room, and enters] Hey, guys. What did I miss?
Buenos dias, mis estrellitas. Today, I am talking about the water sign.
A lifetime of happiness is in sight if…
RRRosa, Ronnie Anne, and Bobby
If…
You're back with your ex by tonight. Es tu destino!
Maria, you're getting back together with Arturo. I knew it.
Ugh, ay, Mama. You know I don't believe in any of that Ernesto stuff.
Yeah, me neither. But it's so weird because the other day he predicted… [flashback to the day he was brushing his teeth, squeezes the toothpaste tube and cash comes out] I'd find treasure in the bathroom. Check it out. It smells like mint.
Money in the bathroom?! [dashes into the bathroom]
Well, Ernesto's prediction for me can't possibly feel true. I shan't be there to talk to Arturo because I don't need to talk to Arturo for today. I won't be there to talk to Arturo because I don't need to talk to Arturo for today. I'm helping Frida with an art project all day, and Arturo is trying to fly off to a medical convention in an hour. [walks away]
Trust me, mis niños, Ernesto's predictions always come true.
Bobby
What if Ernesto is correct?
Mom and Dad are not getting back togetherly. Are they?
Bobby
If they was, it might start to mean a lifetime of happiness for all of us!
I guess it's worth a shot. All we need to do is get them togetherly by tonight and let the magic happen.
[pops up between them] You know, your favorite mom and dad had their own first date at the pier, so maybe if they met there.
Excellent idea, Abuela! I'll just pick Mom up from the gallery. You stop Dad from getting on that plane.
[Bobby runs up to Arturo's place as he puts his suitcase in the taxi trunk]
Bobby, what are you doing here? I'm just on my way to the airport.
Bobby
In a taxi? No, that's so impersonal. Let your son drive you.
No, mijo. It's okay. I don't want to be a bother.
Bobby
It's no bother. And these taxis charge an arm and a leg to get to the airport.
[The taxi driver clears his throat]
My company's paying for it.
Oh, no. We didn't do all this work just so another ex could swoop in and ruin everything!
Bobby
Yeah, let that T-Bone find his own lifetime of happiness!
TBT-Bone
Hey, would you like to have dinner with me tonight at our place?
Bobby
They have a place?!
[blushing] You remember the pizza place? I'll meet you there tonight at 7:00. I better go freshen up. [rushes off]
You better fix this rapido or you're gonna be stuck with this guy!
We have to get rid of T-Bone and get Dad to the restaurant.
Bobby
I'll grab Dad and meet you there!
Mijo, what's gotten into you?!
Bobby
We did all of this work to get you two here, so we can all have a lifetime of happiness! You're not leaving here until you get back together again, just like Ernesto said.
So that's what this is about.
Huh? Can someone tell me what's going on?
[sighs] Ernesto Estrella predicted you guys would get back together tonight. Hearing it out loud now, it does kind of sound silly, huh?
[as she and Arturo smile at each other] I don't think it was silly. I mean, we are together tonight.
Bobby
[disappointed] Yeah, but, it's just one dumb night. Not a lifetime.
But we'll be a family for a lifetime.
[The Santiagos all come in for a group hug]
And, hey, what if we made it a regular thing? A family pizza night every month.
And BOOM! A lifetime of happiness after all. Ernesto is the best-o! Estrella out!
[Evening at the Casagrande apartments; The family are making decorations for Paco and Paulina's wedding while Ronnie Anne, Carl, and CJ work on the cake]
Bobby
Hurry up with the tres leches wedding cake. They just pulled up!
[The kids finish up decorating the cake]
[enters the apartment with Mama Lupe and Paco] Look, everyone. It's Mama Lupe and Paco, our handsome groom.
[squawks] Primo, ready to clip your wings-- I mean, get married?
Claro que si. I can't wait to marry mi amor, Paulina. [takes out a photo of Paulina, a deformed female pigeon] She's the wind beneath my wings.
Maybe you should keep her beneath your wing. I mean, real catch.
Oh, [hugs Paco tightly] I can't believe mi bebe is finally getting married! [sits on the sofa and claps] Oh, I could almost cry.
[tearfully] Leave that to me!
You're lucky you didn't have to walk Lalo. He is not in a fun mood.
[Malo chews, rips off, and throws the couch's armrest which Hector is napping on, causing him to roll onto the floor, waking him up]
Hey, Lalo! Why did you do that?! Now I have to go nap in the mercado.
[after Malo takes a bite out of his El Falcón action figure] Hey! Lalo ate El Falcón's head!
[bare-footed as Malo starts chewing on her pair of boots by the door] Those are my new boots!
Bobby
Lalo, what's going on with you? [screams as Malo bares his teeth, growling at him]
We better figure it out. Abuelo hates when pets misbehave.
[squawks] I woke him up once. Almost made parrot tacos out of me.
Hey! I'd make a great taco. [Malo visualizes him as a taco and tries to eat him; flies away] I take it back! I'd make a terrible taco!
The Casagrandes · 329 quotes
