Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.
Maybe this isn't a good time.
Tell me what you want or I swear to God I will kill you.
Do you really think death threats are a good way to start this conversation?
Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me.
Point taken. You may wanna sit up.
Just tell me what you want!
I've been seeing Penny behind your back.
When you saying seeing Penny, what do you mean?
We had dinner last night. She made me spaghetti with little hot dogs. I like spaghetti with little hot dogs.Well a hot dog. I gave up the other 5 hot dogs to a real dog. A real big dog. A hell hound. There'll be a tangent line at the end, it's not important.
Then why did you have Chinese food with us?
Wolowitz made it very clear who's side I should be on. Clearly the male comrade comes before the woman who will sell her body for money.
Is it possible that he said bros before hoes?
Yes, but I rephrased to avoid offending the hoes.
Sheldon, I don't care if you wanna be friends with Penny.
You mean all the emotional distress I've been feeling is essentially useless and in vain.
Well as my Meemaw would say, Looks like we butchered a pig but nobody wanted bacon. Oh and as for the tangent line. Sheldon and the hell hound. OR How I lost my hot dogs.
EPElizabeth Plimpton
Do you like role-playing games?
Yeah, sure. In fact, I'm a dungeon master.
EElizabeth
Not tonight. Tonight, you are a delivery man. You brought soup, but, uh-oh, Raj and I don't have enough money to pay you. So we'll have to come to some other kind of arrangement.
EElizabeth
You two figure out the details, I'm going to change into something I don't mind getting ripped off my milky flesh.
[after Elizabeth goes into another room] What the frak?
Go away. She wants New Delhi, not kosher deli. Besides, you have a girlfriend.
Why didn't you say anything?
I was waiting for the right time. This is the right time.
[arriving] Hey, who's ready for Halo?
Oh, this is like a nightmare. Get lost!
He's right. The numbers are shaky enough as it is.
EElizabeth
[peeking head through door] Oh, good. Leonard's here.
Elizabeth, what's going on?
EElizabeth
What's going on is you and Howard are my moving men and Raj is my new landlord and I don't have enough money to pay any of you. [goes back inside the room]
Is she suggesting what I think she's suggesting?
Yep! Welcome to the Penthouse Forum.
Well, there were some people on the first floor moving out, and they sold it to me for $100. Howard and Raj helped me bring it up.
But what's wrong with the furniture we have?
They're lawn chairs. And there was no place for company.
Did it occur to you that was by design?
[Looking at television] Ooh! it’s time for Babylon 5!
We don’t watch Babylon 5 in this apartment.
Because no one likes Babylon 5.
There you go–three against one.
They don’t get a vote. It’s one against one. And according to the roommate agreement, all ties will be settled by me.
Wow, is that the laser? It's bitchin'.
[sarcastically] Yes. In 1917 when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Quantentheorie der Strahlung", his fondest hope was that the resultant device be "bitchin'".
Well, mission accomplished.
[Sheldon looks at him in suprise and confusion]
[at the site for Sheldon's online date]
Excuse me. I'm Amy Farrah Fowler, you're Sheldon Cooper.
Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler. I'm sorry to inform you that you've been taken in by unsupportable mathematics designed to prey upon the gullible and the lonely. Additionally, I am being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock.
If that was slang, I'm unfamiliar with it. If it was literal, I share your aversion to soiled hosiery. In any case, I'm here because my mother and I have agreed that I will date at least once a year.
Interesting. My mother and I have the same agreement about church.
I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.
Well, then you might want to avoid East Texas.
Noted. Now, before this goes any further, you should know that all forms of physical contact up to and including coitus are off the table.
May I buy you a beverage?
[to Raj, seeing their "experiment"] Good God, what have we done?
