Should we name him?
It is Valentine's Day. How about Valentino?
Nice. A classic rabbit name. Peter Rabbit, Roger Rabbit. Valentino Wolowitz Rabbit. Oh, look at all that chest hair and overbite. Of course you're a Wolowitz.
S9 E15The Valentino Submergence
S9 E16The Positive Negative Reaction
What's going on?
I'm going to be a father.
Congratulations!
Oh no!
Why "Oh no"?
Because this changes everything! You know, what about comic book night? What about playing games together? What about our trips to Disneyland? How can we do those things with a child around?
Relax, there's room for two babies in this group.
O dear luck, Penny's pregnant too?
You're the other baby!
Oh really? Well, would a baby have to shave once every eleven days?
Would an adult refuse to eat his Graham crackers because one of them was broken?
I guess we'll call this a draw.
Okay, how about this for an invention? Slightly bigger cocktail umbrellas?
How is that a new invention?
I don't know. All Apple does is change the size of things and we keep buying them.
S9 E17The Celebration Experimentation
Really? You're ahead of Bale? The man who personified the words, "I'm Batman"?
AWAdam West
I never had to say I'm Batman. I showed up. People knew I was Batman. Everywhere I went. On the TV show, mall openings, Julie Newmar's bungalow.
I'm sold- you're ahead of Bale.
AWAdam West
There's another reason I should be higher on the list. All those other guys had muscles built into their costumes. All I had in my Batsuit was 100%, grade-A West.
All right, what about music?
I enjoy marching bands and Tibetan throat music.
No music it is.
S9 E18The Application Deterioration
[Howard, Leonard and Sheldon are waiting at the patenting office]
Okay, I've got to ask, why are you wearing a bow-tie?
I've never applied for a patent before. I wanted to make a good impression.
Is the impression that your first name is Peewee?
[Leonard laughs]
Yeah, well you're an engineer. End of joke. Burn!
Hang on, what if Sheldon had no choice but to be respectful?
Is there a switch on the back of his neck we don't know about?
S9 E19The Solder Excursion Diversion
Soup, sandwiches, and emasculation. Just like my mom used to make.
Oh, they went to the store to get solder. Which is metal you melt to make science things.
S9 E20The Big Bear Precipitation
That's not what the forest smells like.
Well how would I know?
We'll never win. You always play the drinking game.
S9 E21The Viewing Party Combustion
A party sub implies it's a party.
Your attendance implies that it's not.
I like a party as much as the next man. As long as the next man doesn't like a party.
If Sheldon’s testosterone dipped he’d become a butterfly.
S9 E22The Fermentation Bifurcation
[The guys are telling Zack about their prototype navigation system.]
You can put it in a satellite or a rocket and it'll run forever.
Cool. Could it be used for missiles and war stuff?
Yee-ah. But we didn't create it for weapons.
And I doubt that the military would be interested in our little guidance system.
Is it better than the one they use now?
LHLeonard and Howard
[together] "Way more." "A lotǃ"
Huh. You sure you guys are smart?
Leonard, friends are like toilet paper. It's good to have extras under the sink.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Big Bang Theory pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.