Stargate SG-1 quotes

So what do we know about this new guy?

Not much.

Dr. Jackson

I hope he's not a spit-and-polish, brass tacks...

[Interrupts him] Hard-ass?

Dr. Jackson

I was building up to that

A few moments later after Major General Bauer has delivered a very terse introduction of himself to the SGC Personnel

Always leave 'em wanting more... I guess.

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May I remind you that if it weren't for SG-1, you'd be sitting here with a snake in your head instead of your head up your a-

GBGen. Bauer

[Visibly angry] Colonel!

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[O'Neill and Maybourne enter Maybourne's safehouse apartment. It is almost completely empty. O'Neill surveys the living area dispassionately]

[after a pause] Have ya heard of IKEA?

[Maybourne goes to a small refrigerator. He opens it, revealing that it contains lots of beer and a bottle of mustard.]

I see you're on that famous Beer and Mustard Diet. How's that working out for ya?

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[to Mrs. Kinsey] Afternoon ma'am. I'm Mr. Starsky and this is… Hutch (referring to Maybourne).

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I'm not leaving until I get what I came for.

Oh, and what are you going to do?

Well, I was thinkin'... [he draws his sidearm and points it at Kinsey] ...about shootin' ya.

Col. Maybourne

Jack. What are you doing?

Gettin' a little dirty for ya Maybourne?

Colonel, have you completely taken leave of your senses?

I've been hanging around Maybourne. What does that say?

How dare you come into my house waving a gun!

Not waving! Pointing! Sit down.

[Kinsey sits down.]

[Gesturing with his sidearm] I'll give you a choice. White meat, or dark meat

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Given the chance, half of all American citizens won't even vote, and the half that do vote are too stupid to know what they're doing.

Which explains how you got elected.

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Dr. Jackson

Uh... the sun's beeping.

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[Teal'c and another Jaffa are attempting to pass through a security checkpoint, but the guard tells them to hand over their staff weapons]

Teal'c

We carry these for ceremonial purposes only.

GGuard

I'm sorry, but you'll have to let me have it.

Teal'c

Very well. [shoots the guard]

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Samantha Carter

So this is the place you kept threatening to take me. It's good to see you, sir.

Jack O'Neill

I'm retired, Carter. Lose the "sir".

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It turns out we made a mistake. A big one.

Which one? We made a few.

Our alliance with the Aschen.

Oh, that. Not working out, is it? Gosh, I wish I'd seen that coming. Oh, wait…I did see that coming.

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Well let me tell you something, Carter you want to erase your mistakes, that's your business. My conscience is clear. I warned everybody. I threw up the red flag and everyone, including you, shut me down.

I'm asking you to put that behind us...