Stargate SG-1 · Season 8
[Maj. Carter enters Dr Weir's office]
That cargo ship was modified using the knowledge of the Ancients. Now, there is no guarantee that anyone will ever be able to figure out how it was done.
And as the most likely person on the planet to figure it out, are you saying that if I don’t let you attempt to contact the Asgard, you won’t even try?
(smiling sarcastically): I would never say that.
I was just going over some research material on the delegates they're sending. Camulus was the one who sent the original message. Then there's Amaterasu, Japanese Sun Goddess, and the last one is Lord Yu.
Yu?
Don't. Every joke, every pun, done to death, seriously.
The System Lords can't be trusted, either as a group or individuals. They're posturing egomaniacs driven by an unsatisfiable lust for power, each one capable of unimaginable evil.
See, why should I be nervous? Sounds like an average day at the United Nations.
Your unexpected defeat of Anubis has created an unstable situation among the System Lords. In order to avoid open war, we came to an agreement to divide his territories and his armies evenly.
How civilized of you.
Yes. Unforunately, one among us has broken that agreement.
Oh, no, no. Don't…don't tell me, let me…let me guess. It's ummm…
[annoyed] (in a Female Voice) Ba'al.
Ba'al!
Time space distortions caused by the black hole have been interfering with my ship's long-range communications.
Understandable.
Indeed. For some.
Oh, I'm not sure anything can surprise me at this point.
I wish to request asylum.
Well, it seems I was wrong again.
What's the last thing you remember?
Getting my head sucked by one of those dang... Ancient... head suckers...And something about twins.
[O'Neill regains consciousness, realizing Teal'c is no longer bald]
Teal'c. What's with the hair?
O'Neill.
Thor. You got aspirin?
You should feel better momentarily, and your memory will slowly return.
[Pause]
Teal'c. What's with the hair?
Sweet. What is it?
We don't know, you made it.
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
You accessed the Ancient knowledge in your mind and instructed the ship's computer to design it.
Doesn't mean I know what it is.
You have to try, Jack.
[O'Neill looks uncertain, then approaches the weapon. He looks at it from several angles, then pokes at it uncertainly.]
[After a moment, as though comprehension has struck him] Ah!
[O'Neill turns to the others]
Yeah, I got nothin'.
[O'Neill is mowing down Replicators with his new weapon]
Who's your daddy!
The Pentagon has convinced the President that there is one man who could run the SGC and make it politically viable from an international perspective, despite the fact that he is part of the American military establishment.
Do we know this ... shrub?
Well, you know him rather well ... Brigadier General Jack O’Neill.
[Stunned] Me?!
Yeah, you.
Brigadier ... it’s on my list.
Congratulations.
I should be clear... I like the promotion, paycheck and the parking spot. But I don’t really wanna be in charge of anything. No.
I've spent my whole life stickin' it to the Man. If I do this, I'll be the Man. I don't think I can be the Man.
If you don’t take the job, we could end up with someone much worse. [Jack looks at her] Ok... that didn’t come out right...
[O'Neill has recently been promoted to Brigadier General. When he walks into the room, Carter snaps to attention]
I'm only going to say this once, Carter: At ease.
So, how's the new job?
Oy! One crisis after another. This morning the mess got a shipment of Yukon Gold potatoes instead of the usual Russets.
[sarcastic] No!
Oh, yes! The Golds don't make for good mash. Consistency's all wrong.
I hear the new Russian Colonel came to see you, made a pitch to join SG-1.
Yeah.
What'd you say?
Told 'em to make french fries instead.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate SG-1 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
