Daniel Jackson quotes from Stargate SG-1

Col. O'Neill

We made a mistake, a big mistake. And we're very sorry. But we also saved your little grey butts from the replicators, and now we want your help. I'm not asking you to change the course of their cultural development. Just fix the damn sun! No one will know. We won't tell.

Daniel Jackson

[aside to Carter] Little gray butts...

Maj. Carter

Yeah...

Unfortunately, we cannot.

Col. O'Neill

OK. At the risk of sounding like the petulant inferior race... Why not?!

Col. O'Neill

Honesty, huh?

Daniel Jackson

[defensively] We're traders.

Col. O'Neill

[disbelieving] Yeah.

Daniel Jackson

We're traders, we've traded, we… trade…

Maj. Carter

Daniel, are you okay?

Daniel Jackson

Uh, I've been better.

Maj. Carter

Col. O'Neill?

Daniel Jackson

Uh, physically fine. But, uh, I'm not expecting a birthday present any time soon.

Maj. Carter

Are you saying he was eaten alive?

Daniel Jackson

The sarcophagus would have done its best to keep him alive, so...it probably would have taken a while.

My God.

Col. O'Neill

Okay. That is officially the worst way to go.

Wait here.

Daniel Jackson

Yes, you go down the dark hallway alone, and I'll wait here in the dark room alone.

Maj. Carter

Narim, we understand why you're concerned, but those ion cannons could save Earth one day.

Daniel Jackson

You're just going to have to trust our people won't blow each other up with them.

Col. O'Neill

And if we do, we won't blame you. Promise.

Col. O'Neill

How do you know this is Narim's house? They all look the same here.

Daniel Jackson

'Cause that's Narim.

Col. O'Neill

You're good.

Dr. Jackson

So, who are you taking orders from now?

Apparently, the one he serves has no name.

Tanith

Oh, he has a name. The likes of you are simply forbidden from knowing it.

Daniel Jackson

I just hope we don't regret giving them those Gate addresses.

Col. O'Neill

I don't think we will, the first one being a black hole and all. They get progressively darker after that.

Teal'c

Have you discovered something Daniel Jackson?

Dr. Jackson

Oh God, I hope not. Probably, though.

Daniel Jackson

I said I think I just electrocuted myself. Do you have any idea what that feels like?

No.

Daniel Jackson

[zats him] Something like that.

Col. O'Neill

[ominously] Have fun, Daniel.

Daniel Jackson

Yeah, you did tell them to take me prisoner this time and not shoot me, right? Right? [no answer] Hello?

Maj. Carter

Is there any chance you can get the Russians to give us their DHD?

Dr. Jackson

Not without giving back Alaska.

Jacob

Just don't jab yourself with it.

Daniel Jackson

Why?

Jacob

Actually I don't know exactly. That in itself should scare you.

Jacob

Daniel? How's it going?

Dr. Jackson

Oh, swell. It's kinda like Goa'uld Mardi Gras here.