A character in Stargate SG-1
Played by Richard Dean Anderson
Stargate SG-1 · 1,358 quotes
Most-quoted character in Stargate SG-1: in 752 of its 1,358 quotes
Most scenes with: Daniel Jackson (209), Samantha Carter (189), Teal'c (101)
[At Col. O'Neill's house]
Col. O'NeillHammond send you by to check up on me?
No! It's funny really, I was out driving, you know....in my car, and I um... I drove here. [Laughs nervously] Yeah ...
Col. O'Neill[Mockingly] "Funny."
Yeah...
Sir? [Sits down next to him on the sofa]
Col. O'Neill[After a long pause of her just staring at him] What?
I should have done it.
Col. O'NeillWhat? Stuck your head in that thing? Are you nuts? Carter. You're one of this country's natural resources. If not National treasures. It couldn't have gone down any other way. I just hope it's worth it...
Even if we do find the Lost City. Even if we get there and find exactly what we're looking for to defend the planet....
Col. O'Neill[Interrupts her] THAT ... would be worth it. [Jack and Sam stare at each other until a knock at the door interrupts their moment]
[Opens the front door and pops his head in] Hello!?
Col. O'Neill[Sam smiles in disappointment. Jack sideways glances at her before calling out to Daniel and Teal'c] In here!
[He and Teal’c slowly walk in the door. They peer around the corner ans see Sam and Jack sitting close] Oh sorry, are we interrupting anything?
[Dismissively] No...
Col. O'NeillWhat are you doing here?
Oh we ... well it's ... it's a funny story actually. We, we, ah, were driving by and we, uh ... saw Sam's car in the driveway, and ... and ... uh ...
Col. O'Neill[Nudging Sam's arm, sarcastically] Funny.
... Teal'c said to me. Well he didn't actually say anything. He just kinda looked at me and did that eyebrow raise thing that he kinda does and I said to him, I said 'hey, why don't we stop by and'...
Col. O'Neill[Interrupts Daniel] Is that doughnuts?
[Holds up the box, beaming] Indeed!
Col. O'Neill[a la Monty Burns] Excellent!
[Everyone is very drunk]
Col. O'NeillYou are so wrong. It's a perfect analogy: Burns as Goa'uld.
They are merely animated characters, O'Neill.
Col. O'NeillYou are so shallow.
Oh, Please! Teal'c's like one of the deepest people I know. He's so deep. [to Teal'c] Come-come on, tell 'em how deep you are. [to O'Neill, excitedly] You'll be lucky if you understand this.
My depth is immaterial to this conversation.
Oooo! Y'see!
Col. O'NeillNo more beer for you.
I'm sorry, sir, but I have to agree. I don't see the connection.
Col. O'NeillAll right, that does it. You know, the entire VHS collection was going to one of you. It's going to Siler. He gets it.
Col. O'NeillAnd you are?
I am Dr. Elizabeth Weir. Colonel.
You can just call her your one hope of ever stepping through the stargate again.
Col. O'NeillBit of a mouthful.
I know I'm playing catch-up, but uh, I understand time is short.
Col. O'NeillActually it's all relative, ma'am; Carter could explain it better if we had more time.
"Praclarush Taonas." Jack, this is it!
Col. O'NeillSee, I assume we still speak the same language, mostly.
Sphere: Planet. Label: Name.
Col. O'NeillFollowing. Still. You. Not!
The clue for seven down is "celestial body." He wrote "Uma Thurman."
Col. O'Neill[smiling] Yes.
Col. O'NeillDaniel... I don't speak Ancient... yet, and when I do.. eventually, you know I'll never understand it.
You have to try.
Col. O'NeillLast time, things just popped into my fron.
Fron is head.
Col. O'NeillSee. I have no idea what you are talking about.
[O'Neill has torn Jackson's Tau'ri patch off his shoulder and is staring at it.]
Jack, what are you doing?
Col. O'NeillAt.
What?
Col. O'NeillAt.
This.
Col. O'NeillThat.
That is at?
Col. O'NeillYou can stop... that.
[SG-1 is taking a great deal of equipment through the Stargate]
Well, have you got everything you need? I think there's still a sink left in the kitchen.
Col. O'NeillIs that a joke?
Perhaps. A bad one
Col. O'NeillYes. Very bad. But I sense hope for you.
[SG1 and Bra'tac are in the scout ship]
Col. O'Neill[Making adjustments to the crystals] Give me your zat. [Sam hands over a zat and Jack shoots the crystals. The engine sound increases. Jack closes the zat and hands it back to Sam.] There you go.
Sir. I think you should know that General Hammond authorised me to take command of the team if I determined that you ...
Col. O'Neill[Interrupts her] Do it now.
Sir, I don’t think that’s necessary ...
Col. O'NeillI trust you. I’ll make it easy for you. I resign. You’re in charge.
[Hesitates] OK... Sir, at your house before Daniel and Teal’c showed up, what I was gonna say was ...
Col. O'NeillI know. [They stare at each other]
Col. O'NeillThen you know more than I do.
No, sir, I don’t. Now... sit down and take a look. [Pauses awkwardly] That’s an order.
Col. O'Neill[Jack walks past Sam on his way to take the controls of the scout ship] Easy.
What's the last thing you remember?
Col. O'NeillGetting my head sucked by one of those dang... Ancient... head suckers...And something about twins.
[O'Neill regains consciousness, realizing Teal'c is no longer bald]
Col. O'NeillTeal'c. What's with the hair?
O'Neill.
Col. O'NeillThor. You got aspirin?
You should feel better momentarily, and your memory will slowly return.
[Pause]
Col. O'NeillTeal'c. What's with the hair?
Col. O'NeillSweet. What is it?
We don't know, you made it.
Col. O'NeillNo.
Yes.
Col. O'NeillNo.
Yes.
Col. O'NeillNo.
Yes.
You accessed the Ancient knowledge in your mind and instructed the ship's computer to design it.
Col. O'NeillDoesn't mean I know what it is.
You have to try, Jack.
[O'Neill looks uncertain, then approaches the weapon. He looks at it from several angles, then pokes at it uncertainly.]
Col. O'Neill[After a moment, as though comprehension has struck him] Ah!
[O'Neill turns to the others]
Col. O'NeillYeah, I got nothin'.
The Pentagon has convinced the President that there is one man who could run the SGC and make it politically viable from an international perspective, despite the fact that he is part of the American military establishment.
Col. O'NeillDo we know this ... shrub?
Well, you know him rather well ... Brigadier General Jack O’Neill.
Col. O'Neill[Stunned] Me?!
Yeah, you.
Col. O'NeillBrigadier ... it’s on my list.
Congratulations.
Col. O'NeillI should be clear... I like the promotion, paycheck and the parking spot. But I don’t really wanna be in charge of anything. No.
Daniel JacksonMichael Shanks · 433 quotes
Samantha CarterAmanda Tapping · 349 quotes
Teal'cChristopher Judge · 180 quotes
Cameron MitchellBen Browder · 128 quotes
Vala Mal DoranClaudia Black · 90 quotes
George HammondDon S. Davis · 77 quotes
Jacob CarterCarmen Argenziano · 32 quotes
Bra'tacTony Amendola · 26 quotes
Hank LandryBeau Bridges · 25 quotes
Jonas QuinnCorin Nemec · 24 quotes
Martin LloydWillie Garson · 21 quotes
Ba'alCliff Simon · 17 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate SG-1 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
