Scenes with Abrasive SpongeBob 642
GDGale Doppler
I'm in the middle of a severe thunderstorm— [gets hit by a stop sign] And we're bringing it to you li—
[Drizzle blows the microphone into his cloud body. Drizzle zaps Gale and flies right in his mouth and into his body. Gale is lifted in the air and he coughs up the microphone.]
GDGale Doppler
I'm Gale Doppler, and I actually am the weather! [laughs, but thunder rumbles in his body and rain falls; it appears that Drizzle is now taking control of Gale's body and is making him do what he what him to do] Huh? Uh-oh.
SpongeBobUh-oh. [pulls his right leg and makes an umbrella]
[Drizzle floats Gale back into town and makes him blow wind everywhere. Drizzle then makes Gale's body freeze.]
GDGale Doppler
[shivering] My body is cold! [Drizzle makes Gale create a blanket of snow over the town] I don't want to be the weather anymore. It hurts! [Drizzle produces thunder and lightning in Gale's body, making him wail in pain]
SpongeBob
[comes out through the roof of one of the buildings] Excuse me, Drizzle. I don't mean to parade on your rain, but could you please put Gale down? [a gust of wind blows him into the sky] Whoa!
SpongeBob
[sighs as he walks into a kelp forest] Why won't anyone watch my trick?! [falls onto the ground while the word "trick" flies into the air, causing the leaves on the kelp trees to fall down onto SpongeBob] [SpongeBob gets up, covered with leaves. He slightly pulls his kelp mustache, and then sees two pieces of wood and a rock. A lightbulb appears on top of SpongeBob] Hey, that gives me an idea! [scene cuts to SpongeBob putting the final touches on his rock people] There. Good evening, folks, I am the Great Spongedini! Now watch closely, [reveals his cards] the hand is quicker than the eye. Pick a card. Any card. [SpongeBob inhales all the magic playing cards into his mouth, and then starts his magic trick.]
[The magic trick starts when the kelp forest turns into a white screen as SpongeBob turns into magic playing cards, which then transform into a buzzsaw and cut a copy of SpongeBob in-half, and then a rainbow appears. Then ten cut in half/rainbow-colored SpongeBobs, two green, two yellow, two pink, two red, and two blue, each holding one magic playing card start running out as the rainbow disappears. Then, two other SpongeBobs, one on the bottom of the screen, and the other on top of the screen being upside down, start leading a bunch of card people from the top, and the bottom of the screen. Then, two other card people start going over and under each other five times, becoming SpongeBob, and back to a playing card. Then the camera zooms out to see lots of card people on the screen, which then fade to SpongeBob. wearing a magician's outfit, a magic hat on top of his head, and a magic wand for a nose, which automatically makes some flowers come out of it, The Great Spongedini then takes the magic wand out of his nose and turns it into three metal rings, that are linked to each other. Then, The Great Spongedini puts himself through the rings, and then, the rings transform into a cannon that shoots out three colorful fireworks. One pink, one yellow, and one blue. Then, The Great Spongedini appears on the screen again, and then notices a red ribbon stuck through his left sleeve.]
GSThe Great Spongedini
Huh? [The Great Spongedini pulls the ribbon out of his left sleeve, but then reveals a red, blue, pink, green, and orange ribbon that covers the whole screen. Then the scene becomes spirally and gets put into a magic hat. Then, the white screen turns back to the kelp forest and SpongeBob pulls himself out of the magic hat in a pink bunny suit, ending his magic trick.]
SpongeBob
Ta-dah! [notices that the audience he made was fake and didn't respond to his magic trick.] Oh... I still wish Patrick was here to see it. [then he notices Patrick sitting on a mushroom, hanging onto another mushroom]
[off-screen] I saw it, SpongeBob! [on-screen] It was astonishable! [Patrick falls of the mushroom and falls flat onto the ground, and pulls himself off the ground]
SpongeBob
[hugging Patrick] Oh, Patrick! You showed up just in time! What was your favorite part?
Uh... My favorite part was... uh..."Ta-dah!" I missed everything before that.
SpongeBob
Oh, then you haven't seen seen anything yet! [he grabs a hold of Patrick's hand. The two spin around and then they disappear into a magic hat. Some confetti and a card come out of the hat as the two laugh. Fireworks also start coming out of the hat, while the rock creatures stand inanimate]
SpongeBob, what is your stop, so I can take you there right now?!
SpongeBob
[steps on other people's heads while heading to the driver seat] Oh, I don't have a stop. Today is my bus riding day, the day I just pick a bus and ride it all day. [lays on Squidward's head]
There's only one thing I can think of that could be worse. [screams as he sees Patrick waving at a bus stop] Augh! And that's it! [drives the bus to pass Patrick, which makes him drill himself into the sand] Phew. I dodged that one. Heh-heh. [sees Patrick at another bus stop; he turns the wheel and flips the bus over Patrick; he continues to drive] Phew. That was close.
[appears next to Squidward] It sure was. I almost didn't catch this bus.
[Squidward is completely overwhelmed and turns his head in anger.]
SpongeBob
Eeeee... Patrick! Wow! We're both on the same bus on our Just Riding Around On The Bus Day! What are the odds?
[Squidward's eyes spin like a slot machine. His eyes stop with a laughing SpongeBob and Patrick on them.]
I tried to tell ya the first rule of babysitting my nieces.
SpongeBob
What's that?
[The scene changes to the police lady arresting Squidward for breaking into the museum and vandalizing artwork. SpongeBob hangs up Squidward's painting on the wall.]
SpongeBob
There! Back where you belong. [leaves]
[mumbles] It's beautiful!
You actually like that eyesore?
Why, it's the greatest painting I've ever seen... hanging in the museum! [laughs like a crazed maniac]
[creeped out by Squidward's crazed laughter] Okay, that's enough, weirdo. [takes Squidward away so she can turn him in for his crimes]
[Squidward's painting comes to life as its frown turns into a smile, thus ending the episode.]
[As SpongeBob actually makes it to the Krusty Krab on time as he is sleeping at the same time]
Right on time! [turns to another sponge named SpongeTom while Squidward groans in defeat] Looks like I won't be needing you after all, SpongeTom.
SSpongeTom
[throws his spatula onto the ground] D'oh! [stomps away]
[SpongeBob rolls into the restaurant and crashes into the register boat. SpongeBob flies into the kitchen and kicks a plank, knocking over a barrel.]
SpongeBob
[half awake] Good morning...
SpongeBob
[cool voice] Hey, cool crowd. What's shaking? Oh, yeah. [enters the lounge] Hey, hipsters. It's groovy, cats. Oh, I can dig it. [One patron squeals happily and melts. SpongeBob slides across the floor just as the lounge's Maître D' shows up.]
Maître D': Oh, welcome, man. You're the coolest customer we've ever had.
SpongeBob
[cool voice] Oh, crazy, Daddy. Crazy. [pinches his cheek]
Maître D': Can I seat you at the coolest table? [points to the coolest table with all the cool people in it]
SpongeBob
[cool voice] No, thank you. I'm here to meet up with a real cool cat. Oh, there he his. Hey, Squideroonie!
[Squidward struggles to get his foot out of the chair, but falls over.]
Maître D': [deeply shocked] You're with him?
[crawls over to SpongeBob] Yes, you're with me. And he is my— best... [twitches his eye and struggles to say "friend"] friend...
SpongeBob
[cool voice] You heard the man, folks. He's my best friend. Can you dig it? [snaps his fingers]
Maître D': [confused] Huh? [Everyone snaps their fingers.]
[The Dirty Bubble goes to the Goo Lagoon]
I think, for dessert, I'll eat more dirt! [laughs evilly]
SpongeBob
Not Goo Lagoon! [The Dirty Bubble sucks up Goo Lagoon. SpongeBob grabs out paper and pencil to write quickly his last words] Thank you, my beloved pet Gary, thank you, my big pineapple, and my toolshed, and my mailbox, and Patrick! [Sobs as the dirt level increasingly gets higher and higher. Starts absorbing all the dirt.] Uh, what? Wow. Sometimes I just forget how absorbent I am. [proceeds to spin around inside like clothes in a side-loader washing machine]
Wait, what? Ow, just... stop spinning, you sponge! You're stealing my grunge! [slowly shrinks, stammering] Stop that rhyme! [screams as he is absorbed by SpongeBob] [SpongeBob falls into Goo Lagoon's seabed. Burps out an shrunken version of the Dirty Bubble.] [high pitched] I may be a squirt, but I'm still full of dirt! [evil laughs]
SpongeBob
Aww, little mini DB is so cute! [Dirty Bubble spits dirt onto SpongeBob's eyelid. Officer Johnson catches Dirty Bubble and puts him into a jar held by lady officer]
SpongeBob
Every time I wash dishes, I will think of you.
Hmph. Every time I have nightmares, I'll think of you, too! [complaining noises]
Thank you, citizen. We'll take it from here.
SpongeBob
[Pretends to be the Dirty Bubble] It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it. [evil laugh] [Police officers gasp] Just kidding! [laughs] [Police officers laugh with him. SpongeBob suddenly feels the urge to sneeze, splattering goo all over the place.]
POPolice officers
[angrily] Gesundheit.
SpongeBob
Thank you! [looks at lady officer] You got some schmutz under there. [Wipes off goo from her face. Grabs out a tissue and laughs.]
Well, now this is very nice indeed [begins the relax on his bed until he melts on the bed to the bathroom tub] Mmm... This is Heaven. [All of a sudden, SpongeBob enters Squidward's room, starts laughing, and exits out.] Hello? [peeks out] Anyone there? Hello? [Squidward shrugs it off and continues relaxing. He then drowns into the tub. Suddenly, Patrick comes from the other side to enter Squidward's room, starts laughing, and exits out.] Hello? Did someone just come in? [Both SpongeBob and Patrick enter Squidward's room until they bump into each other.]
SpongeBob
Don't you just love playing Hotel: Slam and Run?
I enjoy it an... [puts his tooth back into his mouth] ...intellectual challenge.
[SpongeBob and Patrick stands up, starts laughing, and both run out of Squidward's room. Squidward peeks from the bathroom with a robe on and a towel on his head.]
Alright, I know I heard something in here! Ohh... [rubs his eyes] Maybe I'm just not relaxed enough.
Oh, boys, right here! Oh, I could use a babysitter!
SpongeBob
Ooh! [he and Patrick rush towards Mary] While you go out, and dance, and revel...
...We will watch your little devil!
[SpongeBob and Patrick swirl her around] Yes! [hugs Patrick] Oh, thank you! [hugs SpongeBob then runs off] Thank you!
SpongeBob
Wait! Where's the baby?
She's inside! I'm free! I'm free! Hahahahaha!
[Mary hops away happily while SpongeBob and Patrick look confused at each other. But they both shrug and enter the house.]
[SpongeBob and Squidward chase after the Mr. Krabs look-alike through random happenings. They chase him on the back of dinosaurs with human heads. Then they chase him through a black and white dimension. SpongeBob drops the patty, but picks it up. They continue to chase the Mr. Krabs look-alike until they finally manage to make it back to their normal dimension.]
SSSpongeBob and Squidward
[see the Krusty Krab] Huh?
SpongeBob
It's the Krusty Krab! [he and Squidward enter the restaurant] Hey, Mr. Krabs, thanks for showing us the way out of RandomLand.
[The Mr. Krabs look-alike turns around and reveals himself that he is not Mr. Krabs, but an individual from RandomLand.]
RRodger
Excuse me, I'm not Krabs. The name is Rodger and I walked all the way from 86 Screwball Street to complain about never getting my delivery.
SpongeBob
Oh, your delivery, my good man. [Rodger eats the patty with his eyestalk-like hat and smiles] Mission accomplished. Better late than never.
[sobs] Better never! If it's late, [pulls down the menu and points to the delivery notice] it's free! [sobs uncontrollably, pushes the register button with the signs "No Sale" and gets pushed into the kitchen]
[The strange lady creature takes the Krusty Krab bag, blows in it, and pops it, turning the screen white. The worm crawls around as the screen turns black. It forms a second head on its tail and it smiles with the word, "End," appearing in its teeth, ending the episode.]
[SpongeBob sits quietly for a little while. He whistles the closing theme to himself to pass the time while noticing two customers eating their Krabby Patties and Squidward snoring. SpongeBob looks at the table and gasps when he sees a spot on it. He opens his face, grabs a cleaning spray and a rag and attempts to clean it.]
[appears below the table] SpongeBob! What are you doing?!
SpongeBob
Uh, I just spotted a spot.
You can't work on your break, boy-o! Period! Remember the fines?
LALabor authority officer
[overhears it and gets real angry] I knew it! I've had my eye on you for years, Krabs! Oh, this violation is really gonna cost you! [looks through his list of fines given for the Krusty Krab] Hmm...
[yelps] Oh, I can see we're gonna have to take drastic measures here.
SpongeBob
Just wait 'til you see what I've done to your restaurant. [pulling the wheelchair and headed to the Krusty Krab and looks around him and his customers] Nothing. Is it great? Everything's just how you left it. Whenever we have a problem around here, I ask myself what would Mr. Krabs do. [turns Mr. Krabs' wheelchair and makes Mr. Krabs dizzy] And I do that! I even hired a new fry cook since I'm too busy being the boss now. [turns Mr. Krabs' wheelchair to see the new fry cook] Just like you would have done.
[Mr. Krabs makes weird angry sounds and Patrick wearing SpongeBob's pants and spatula is in his bellybutton and put it back and he tried to eat a patty]
SpongeBob
Don't worry, I taught him everything I know. [turns Mr. Krabs' wheelchair and makes Mr. Krabs dizzy again]
[Patrick puts the spatula in his mouth and grabs the ketchup. He puts the spatula back in his hand, and the spatula is drooling. He then flips the ketchup with the spatula and puts it on the grill, but the grill is burning, and the ketchup is about to explode. Squidward is reading his book while his shift. Then, his face, part of his book, and one of the windows are covered with ketchup.]
Order up! [Squidward gets very angry]
SpongeBob
You'll have a better view of my managerial magic from over here. [turns Mr. Krabs' wheelchair and makes Mr. Krabs dizzy again]
SpongeBob
Mr. Krabs! You're all better! Sorry I let you down. All I wanted was to be a good boss, just like you!
Oh well, there is no need to get your sails in a twist about it boy. Nobody's just like me, especially you. Besides, you saved me months in that there body cast. If it weren't for the rage I felt watching you destroy me restaurant, I woulda never forced me body to heal so quickly!
SpongeBob
Oh, so in a way, I’ve done good, huh?
Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Not even close! You were the worst boss ever! I’m gonna have to dock your pay for decades, just to cover all the damage you caused! [laughs and turns on fan as he walks away]
SpongeBob: Oh, thanks Mr. Krabs! [spins along with the fan] You're the best boss everrrrrr!!!!!
[while knocking on the door] Barnacles! Open up, yo- you- Huh. Aha! [Mr. Krabs laughs and grunts while going through the mail slot. Then, he falls into a puddle. Mr. Krabs notices an open window and climbs towards it; muttering] Ugh, and I told him to check the windows, didn't I?
SpongeBob
[on the phone] Patrick, you've gotta come over to Krabs' place. Someone's trying to break in! [Patrick mumbles] Uh, SquarePants. [Patrick mumbles again] SpongeBob SquarePants. [Patrick mumbles again] No, you're Patrick! [a realistic close-up of SpongeBob's face] Please hurry.
[Mr. Krabs keeps climbing towards the window. Then, he notices Patrick jumping in puddles with his boots.] Huh? Patrick? What's that pink clown doing here? Eh, who cares? SpongeBob will never open the door for him.
[Patrick gets to the door] Beep, beep, [Patrick removes his boots] beep.
Great horn spoon! How's he doing that?
[Patrick puts his butt through the mail slot while SpongeBob pulls from the other side of the door. They both crash into the wall.]
SpongeBob
[laughs] Thank goodness you don't have any bones, buddy.
Nope, all blubber. [close-up on Patrick while he laughs]
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
