[The hooded figure hisses into Bush's left ear]
GBGeorge Bush
We Republicans are deeply saddened by the recent events in Colorado!
Removing the feeding tube is murder! Haaghaghaghaghaghagha...
GBGeorge Bush
Removing the feeding tube is murder!
Who are we to decide that Kenny should live or die? Haaghaghaghaghaghagha...
GBGeorge Bush
Who are we to decide that Kenny should live or die?
It is God's will that he live!
GBGeorge Bush
It is God's will that he live!
GBGeorge Bush
Haghaghaghagha...
No no, you don't say that part, Haaghaghaghaghaghagha . [hisses into Bush's right ear]
GBGeorge Bush
No no, you don't say that part, Haghaghaghagha.
[the crowd is speechless]
GWGeorge W. Bush
Look, the fact of the matter is, the Family Guy writing staff is protected by something called the First Amendment.
R1Reporter 1
And what exactly is this First Amendment, Mr. President?
GWGeorge W. Bush
You know...right to free speech.
[Many of the reporters groan loudly and begin yelling]
R2Reporter 2
Mr. President, when your administration came up with this First Amendment, did it not foresee a problem like this might happen?
GWGeorge W. Bush
Well, we didn't come up with the First Amendment. It was already in place.
R3Reporter 3
What do you intend to do about this First Amendment, Mr. President?
R4Reporter 4
Forgive me, Mr. President, but this First Amendment sounds like a lot of bureaucratic jibbery-jroo.
Mr. President, my name is--
GWGeorge W. Bush
Shut up! You think we don't know your name? We know everything. We control everything. We've all worked very hard to keep our involvement in 9/11 a secret. But you just had to keep digging.
HCHead of the conspiracy group
You won't get away with it! People know!
GWGeorge W. Bush
People, you mean sheeple. We have the majority of them kept in blissful ignorance. Just one more leak to fix.
HCHead of the conspiracy group
Wait, what are you doing?
GWGeorge W. Bush
You've been a thorn in our side for too long, I'm afraid.
HCHead of the conspiracy group
No! You can't do this! Please! I'll stop, I'll take down the website!
GWGeorge W. Bush
Too late.
[The head of the conspiracy group pleads for his life, then Bush blows his brains out]
DRDonald Rumsfeld
Ha ha ha, he died like a pig.
GWGeorge W. Bush
Some pigs never learn.
He was right, you did cause 9/11!
GWGeorge W. Bush
Yes, quite simple to pull off, really. All I had to do was have explosives planted in the base of the towers, then on 9/11 we pretended like four planes were being hijacked, when really we just rerouted them to Pennsylvania, then flew two military jets into the World Trade Centers filled with more explosives then shot all the witnesses of flight 93 with an F15 after blowing up the Pentagon with a cruise missile. It was only the world's most intricate and flawlessly executed plan, ever, ever.
South Park · 1,569 quotes
